Policing inappropriate messages

Policing inappropriate messages

DomJayy​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

We all hear stories and most likely receive messages (often from doms) that are overly forward or rather creepy or even Damn right disrespectful and rude

For whatever reason those who do this continue to even though it never works and they get blocked endlessly

New members and especially new subs In the lifestyle wanting to learn and enjoy their experiences, are bombarded with the rubbish we all hear about and often puts them off staying and even upsets them

How on cage can we police this? Would love to hear people’s constructive ideas

My idea is that we have a feed/page where those who have received these messages can name and shame them. But with the requirements of screenshots and proof so not to just put someone on the page for having an argument or disagreement with over something. This would hopefully start to reduce those numbers of messaging circling around

It really needs to be those horrible messages we see as opening messages like “you are a slut and deserve to be in pain “ and “you are nothing but my slave and you are owned by me now”

This will help so many new members and also help cage admins to remove the repeat offenders for being so unpleasant and ruining it for so many people


Let me know your thoughts and ideas

Zerospace​(dom male){Amalthea} • Nov 10, 2020

Call me crazy, but I'm on board with this idea. Silence gives consent and if we just gripe about nameless jerks, they keep their anonymity and move on.

First, you would need to clearly establish that a rule of the site was broken (as you say, present evidence). The site would need to be explicit about their policy on these types of communications, as well. No loopholes allowed!

Second, you would need a review board. These things cannot just go public as it is too easy to just cut/paste a screenshot and take out an innocent person. I believe the site already has something like that in effect. Given how often I personally have heard people complain about this issue, maybe we'd need a rotating board, comprised of many stolid members of the community.

Finally, and this is the tough one, we would need a system to prevent them from returning under a new name. Is it possible to block an IP address here or just a profile? And yes, I know that VPNs might play a factor. Maybe this is impossible, but it would be nice.

Sasa​(dom female) • Nov 10, 2020

For me a clear NO! I I despise gossip and defamation. I also don't think I would need one "Frauenversteher" more. We have already some men who answer for women and explain the world to us.

Most of those idiots you are talking about are simply immature. They are not a problem and not your problem. That is the job of the Cage staff

Don't tell me all subs are a damsel in distress. Newcomers to the BDSM world are not newcomers to life. Remember, we cannot enter this community under a certain age. Think twice... but the worst things are made with the best intentions.

Orgazmo​(dom male){serenity m} • Nov 10, 2020

You should be able to report the offender to admins and they should deal with it.

Zerospace​(dom male){Amalthea} • Nov 10, 2020

I guess, for me, I see this kind of incessant behavior as bullying. It is my experience that bullies won't stop until they are called out, openly, on their shit.
It isn't that every sub is a damsel in distress. But some people (even adults) lack the courage or knowledge to stand up against bullies. These people should be given open ground to fight back and encouraged to do so. This is not rescuing them; it is allowing them the clearly delineated space to stand up for themselves. Overall, I think that the moderators of this site do a good job of policing these jerks, but that doesn't mean the system couldn't use a tweak or two. Life is valuable when improved upon, and this is a constant process, never-ceasing.

I do not advocate for someone to be rescued with regularity. Very similar to the old adage, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." If you are in need of constant rescue, that's something about yourself you need to address. But encouraging others to stand up for themselves is always acceptable, in my opinion.

I haven't been here that long, but already I have encountered a plethora of guys calling themselves "Dom" only because they type in caps, puff out their chests, and insist that everything they say is gospel truth. They use the position of "Dom" to assert their will on other people, whether these people are willing or not. That is bullying. And that's just what I see in the public forums/blogs. I'll be damned if Thea and others haven't shown me worse in their private messages.

From the MW dictionary: bully: a blustering, browbeating person, especially one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable...
[I would amend that to say "others who are perceived as weaker"]

DomJayy​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

I agree with zero space on what he said there

I also think that a lot of these messages aren’t actually breaking rules which ties the administers hands alittle but that doesn’t mean that being Like that should be left unacknowledged

It’s isn’t gossip if it is done correctly and goes through something to help make sure it is a helpful watch list for new comers sub or Dom

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 10, 2020

We would never allow any public "outing" of members on THE CAGE. This violates our rules. We have a very effective report system that we encourage all members to use if required.

DomJayy​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

So why do so many people receive such unpleasant messages ?

And what can you do to improve the system?

Cage is by far the best of these sites though!

Zerospace​(dom male){Amalthea} • Nov 10, 2020

I want to be clear that I am not advocating for some elitist regime to force some version of "Dom" onto everyone. That is highly improper. If you've read anything else I've ever posted, you know I'm not about that life.

And I see what Sasa and Orgazmo are saying. There is already a system in place and it is functional. I have already acknowledged that.

I'm one of those people that believes in the "It takes a village" doctrine. Hello! Sociologist here! So I am all about the community supporting itself.

It has been pointed out elsewhere to me that this thread borders on forgetting Marx's biggest mistake in creating Communism: that when you give power to a small group of people, however temporarily, it leads to them not giving up that power. Hence the Soviet Union's birth. Marx never solved this dilemma before he died.

Perhaps we can here, at least as it pertains to this "village."

DomJayy and I have the ball rolling. I know I, for one, would be delighted to hear more thoughts and suggestions. How do we create a safer space for those plagued by bullies?

Ultimately, my goal is justice for all.

"I'm just a peace-loving guy." - Freddie Mercury

DomJayy​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

Completely agree zero space!

My idea was simply a suggestion but all ideas are welcome to make this place as good as it possibly can for all