SubtleHush(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Nov 24, 2020
Quote: and unless you're in that field
Taramafor: "I am" YOU are in the mental health field as in a licensed professional? |
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Online now
ElizaEmma(sub female){NotLooking}
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3 years ago •
Nov 24, 2020
Taramafor wrote: 'Quote: and unless you're in that field
I am. Kind of letting my guard down here though (I have my on switches basically). Dad knows psychology so I learned a lot from him. On that day I had THREE major stressful events going on. This is just one. I had three. In ONE day. In the space of a few hours one after the other. . Really? My uncle is a surgeon and my cousin plays a doctor on TV, I learned a lot from them, one day I had a paper cut, scraped my knee, and burned my pinky in the space of a few hours but I managed to patch everything and went back to work in no time. Now trust me, let me perform appendectomy on you. I rest my case. The two points I like to stress for the umpteenth time is: BSDM requires consent, without consent it is abuse, and children cannot give consent. |
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SubtleHush(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
ElizaEmma: "Really? My uncle is a surgeon and my cousin plays a doctor on TV, I learned a lot from them, one day I had a paper cut, scraped my knee, and burned my pinky in the space of a few hours but I managed to patch everything and went back to work in no time. Now trust me, let me perform appendectomy on you."
ROFL Best response to bullshit ever! OMG |
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Miki(masochist female)
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3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
Taramafor wrote: Quote: [You justify what you think is healthy or permissible behavior with people clearly more experienced and rational than you
Right. Tired of this. You clearly have your own head up your own ass and are close minded. You also fail to say why or how without proof. You've done this too many times with me when no one else has. So blocking. Even Mika can have a calm civil conversation with me without accusations. You're just plain toxic. :I @Taramafor: Even Mika??? Hope that's some other person in here and not a typo of me. Name's Miki. Rhymes with Freaky, pleased to meet ya: I do go off the rails from time to time and write less-than-constructive things but I can't be the worst hard head on Earth. Anyway this whole thread devolved into a hot mess. I simply have to repeat, if "Sarah" went through all these things and whacked her dom + other slaves, she needs professional help beyond what even a fully licensed shrink can do online or over the phone. If she made it all up... she still needs assistance of a professional nature because spinning such a yarn is a cry for help. * * * * * FYI "Blocking" only prevents each person from messaging the other. It does nothing to stop either from viewing the other's posts on public boards. Some sites do that, but it takes a bit more in the way of site programming. The thinking behind leaving the boards intact is that should "Party A" harangue "Party B" on a public board to the point beyond T O S limits, site management can censure or give the bum's rush outright to either or both parties that cross the line. It's a worthy topic beyond "Sarah", as there may be others in, or at risk of getting sucked into a toxic relationship such as that. Everybody just smile and be civil (and NO, the "vertical" smile doesn't count.) 
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TalentedOptimist(dom male){open}
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3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
Oh wow. To answer your question, even with all of that associated. Most people do not get ALL of that information at once in order to make relationship decisions.
If you're asking for help, everyone is different. Some people like the chaos. Some don't know any better and assume it's what they deserve or a best case scenario. Some are trying something new. Some are pity dating. As for yourself personally, I wish you well on this journey. |
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DrKrall
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3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
Taramafor wrote: You also fail to say why or how without proof.
I'm not trying to pick a fight with you even if we obviously has very different views on some of the basics of BDSM, but don't you see the irony here? You tell us a wild story some online friend of yours, whom you never have met AFK, told you about how she/they/whatever killed multiple persons after being kept as a nonconsensual slave and when some of us call bullshit you ask for proof. If you give us some proof of your wild claim first you might be entitled to proof from others, but until then ... |
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Miki(masochist female)
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3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
To be at all constructive, this thread needs to go beyond that original story and acknowledge the scenario it puts forth is not at all "unheard-of".
When someone encounters a person trapped in such a situation they should encourage that individual to get help, be it "professional" where such a situation has damaged their mental stability, or getting helped out of the situation. If someone is able to write emails to someone in the outside world, they should be able to call the police and report being held as a slave. No matter the "consent" regardless of any "contracts" that might have been signed, it's flat out illegal and "master-slave" relationships are strictly fantasy, one which either party is well within their rights to terminate when it becomes toxic or outlives its usefulness. |
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DrKrall
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3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
@Miki
I agree. I don't think anyone can argue with that. The problem with the thread is OP still think this is BDSM and doesn't understand that consent is what separates BDSM from abuse. Abuse can be masked as BDSM, it can have ingredients common in BDSM, it can look exactly like BDSM, but without consent it's not BDSM. BDSM can be a lot of things from being a little kinky in bed on Saturday night to permanent slavery, but there need to be an agreement by all parties involved. A Dom who doesn't understand this is a potential abuser and a sub who doesn't understand this is a potential victim. |
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| CoffeeDom(dom male) |
3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
Re: When it goes wrong Taramafor wrote: ... when I see anyone acting like they understand someone when they don't, here I am thinking "They should know better". And some people on this very site simply don't. Make of that what you will. Just be aware of the danger and harm you cause when you do that. The "lash out" might not be because you're a sub or a dom, but it's still about "Pretending to know what's best". You don't TELL. You don't go "This is best for you". You ASK. You FIND OUT. Can be a pain at times. But when it becomes about you... Yea... I have to know about that. For you safety. For your sanity. And how you might affect me. It's for me as much as others. I take EVERY precaution. Because rushing in blind leads to bad shit happening. Make good shit happen. But do it with awareness, awareness, safety and accepted danger. And above all else, honesty. Anyone that doesn't even try to find out, I can't even feel safe around. Unless they show they avoid making certain mistakes. Ever acted like you already know what's best for me when you don't know me? Red flag. See ya. You know who you are. But this isn't about me right now. Right now I'm pointing out "That shit just doesn't work". Ever. So why do people do it? Genially asking. A few thoughts and questions: I've edited the original post to trim out anything that isn't relevant to the discussion or the question. You'll notice that the entire story about someone else ISN'T NEEDED TO MAKE THE POINT OR ASK THE QUESTION. Are you sure that this isn't 'all about you' and just a humblebrag about your listening and people skills? If not, why did you include the story? I also notice that the person mentioned in your story isn't chiming in here, and you don't mention anywhere that you have her consent to share her story with strangers to illustrate a related point. Do you have her informed consent to discuss her story and circumstances in this forum, and may we see proof of that? If you don't, then you're just as much of a ghoul as Dr. Phil and others that exploit drama and trauma to pump up their own ego. I have my doubts about the veracity of the story as well. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. No one is required to accept what you say as true without it. Again, I don't think it's your story to tell, so this is moot unless the person you mentioned wants to come on here and make the same claims. Without even that, it's SECONDHAND extraordinary claims. "I have a friend who says they are ten feet tall..." is just as ridiculous. Is all that you described BDSM? No. It's fruit from the poison tree. What starts out as abuse cannot transform into something else because one party eventually consents. That's Stockholm Syndrome, not BDSM. |
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SubtleHush(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Nov 26, 2020
Miki(masochist female)
"To be at all constructive, this thread needs to go beyond that original story and acknowledge the scenario it puts forth is not at all "unheard-of" (No it happens enough that the news feeds are on it the minute it happens and the police are involved. I've dealt personally with one person who was a house hostage and helped her move out, fully expecting to be shot while doing it - her captor was a cop. I had help and was acting as a friend not a therapist.) (Miki his personal attack was pointed to me. Not you. I have called him on his dangerous views and BS responses to people from day one.. So he blocked me but as you said, I am still on this thread. I would never write to him personally.) "When someone encounters a person trapped in such a situation they should encourage that individual to get help, be it "professional" where such a situation has damaged their mental stability, or getting helped out of the situation." (Highly unlikely this is a real person or a real scenario. This is extreme and those trapped in it are not on the internet making friends. Nor are they healthy enough to kill people and just go on to live normal lives. Typically they run for help to anyone they can find which is why authorities get involved. And then a lot of therapy and evaluation is done since they killed someone.) (Case in point the Upstate NY's NXIVM 'sex slave' event has been in the news for a year or two now and they are not done with it.) (When I first developed leukemia I spent time in an aol cancer support chat room. At least 5 times in as many months people came in falsely claiming to have cancer. It was easy to spot because they had no medical terms or the names of tests, they just talked in general terms. Even kids with cancer know the medical term for their disease or can tell what you type of chemo they are on. One guy even came in to incite the room to ask their doctors for a certain drug- that he had just invested in. I see it as a form of Munchausen syndrome. Bottom line they are at best, lying and at worst have psychological issues that need to be addressed.) (The OP jumped on it because he really thinks he has this all figured out and will use any scenario to scold us because like the liars he needs the validation and attention.) (I call his posture being "two inches from the (therapy) couch and dancing as fast as he can" In other words, at this point he is working harder to validate avoiding therapy than he would have to work going into it. And if people who think this way weren't dangerous to others, I'd say, "who cares?" But they are dangerous and they add the burdens of the lifestyle and suck newbies in to bad situations.. Its the newbies i care about, not jokers like the OP) I do appreciate your level head and interesting thoughts. H* |
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