dollMaker(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Dec 20, 2020
tallslenderguy wrote: Ditto Kara.
@ShadowyXx This is meant to help. The title of your thread it "No dommes want me." To which i would reply: "Who are you?" Your profile is sort of generic and virtually empty. You have made only one forum post (am assuming it's this one?). What i am saying is similar to Kara, know yourself, learn how to articulate who you are. Participate in community and become visible, because right now, you are invisible... unseen, unknown. You are not presenting yourself, so what is there for a Domme to want? Does that make sense to you? Who are you? i do not think that can be answered in a few words in an ad or on a profile. i think it can be demonstrated in interaction with others though. Maybe try reading blogs and forum posts and respond with your thoughts and feelings. You will then become visible for Dommes, and others, to see and respond to. Also got to add, two personals one sub looking for domme, one dom looking for sub. Now there is nothing wrong with being a Switch, but if you are not, your profile says sub, then mixed mesages could well put some off. I would have a think about where you are at, and where you want to be and create a profile that shines and will attract dommes. At the minute I think it doesn't work well for you. Also take part on the forums, start a blog, chat in lobby (chat room) and get known. Your 'vibe attracts your tribe and people to you. ' At the minute there isn't enough, said with kindness, for you to stand out among the scores of desperate (not very attractive) super thirsty (a definite turn off) male subs on here. Make an effort and dommes will message you, they will want to, drawn to you. Don't be an asshat, be kind, genuine, polite and authentic, also treat dommes as human being first, not some sort of kink vending machine (huge turn off). I hate to say this but you will also have to be patient, this may take time. View your time here as away to learn, make friends, to improve yourself and make yourself ready for that day you meet the right person. As an aside any obvious scammers, tribute seekers, pay to play, fin domme, types report them to site admin, so they can flush them off the site. |
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Online now
Conan(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Dec 21, 2020
Would change your profile to switch, and keep it to one switch ad.
You painting in broad strokes, so fervently is a turn off. |
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Miki(masochist female)
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3 years ago •
Dec 21, 2020
ShadowyXx wrote: Thank you for your replies, everyone. All of you were very professional and articulated your words nicely. After reading through these, I've gained lots of insight on how this online world works, as well as how to improve both myself and my profile. This was interesting.
Here's a little insight as to what my thought process was when going into this. I'm very young and relatively inexperienced with regular in-person dating, so you can imagine how confused I was in this ONLINE world. These sorts of websites have always given off a "Hey big boy. Are you looking for a sexy, fun time? Do you wanna have amazing sex TONIGHT? Come on in and meet the women of your dreams now!" kind of vibe. I was under the impression that all females using this site wanted the same thing I did; a quick hookup for sex. All dommes wanted to instantly find boys and fuck them so bad, they leave crying. For me personally, the idea of finding a "dream domme" instantly over the internet gives me a type of euphoric rush. Meeting a stranger like this feels so wild and "out there" and made me excited to try it out, so I subconsciously expected everyone using the website to have the same attitude as me. However, in hindsight and after reading through your messages, I see how wrong I was. Everybody is different. No two people are exactly alike, and that of course includes dominant females. It was wrong of me to assume every domme wanted to instantly hit it off with cute subs and would be interested in me without getting a chance to know me or who I am. Going forward, I'm definitely going to make an effort in expressing myself in a much healthier way. I was always respectful to dommes and would never behave in a rude or condescending way. That being said, I think I still made assumptions in the back of my head, and that was wrong. Well, that's all I have to say. Clearly, there's still a lot left I have to learn. I hope i didn't sour anyone's opinion of me. I promise I'll do better. Have a great day!! Gonna be blunt here, fella, don't take it personally. For one thing, you're going at it the wrong way and for another, as written above, while the ratio may not be "15,000 to 1" as written above, it might as well be. And that goes for the vanilla dating sites as well. That's where some of the shadier ones make bank. The infamous "Ashley Madison" site which made news when it got hacked and a bunch of married fellas who would rather their names not get out there... were extorted into paying off the hackers... Be all that as it may, the site was populated by over 90% married men. There were a few legitimate women in there, mostly hideous hags, I'd wager, but the rest were shills whose mission was to write new male members, get him a woody, but he had to buy a subscription to reply to her, and if the poor bastard did, he got "crickets" for a reply. Long story short, skip the online bullshit as far as finding who you're looking for is concerned. Once this COVID shit passes, get out, find munches, be yourself. Use places like this to talk to people who might help you learn the art of being desirable. My twelve cents. I got a bit windy on this post. Usually its 2 cents. ...and oftentimes when I rub those 2 cents together, it makes a grating sound a fair number of people really don't want to hear. Rub these 12 pennies together and imagine the old art of dragging a garden rake across a chalk board. But today you get 12. Merry Christmas and good luck -- and take your time!!! |
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Eagles Nest
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3 years ago •
Apr 8, 2021
The comment that have been made are excellent!
I would list the classes, workshops, year taken on your profile for the last three years I would also give title and author of educational reading material that you have studied on the top three skills your want to be excellent in. Again no me, me, me, I, I, I, need, want, are all deal breakers. It is NOT about you! It is about how you can help your Mistress. |
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MstressWhipplash(dom female)
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3 years ago •
Apr 10, 2021
Skim reading your profile I believe you need to work on the contents and layout a bit more.
Take the wannabe word off your profile as you are either ready to give up authority to a woman you like or you're not even if you haven't met her yet. Add more paragraphs to your profile a sea of text is off putting. And yes get known for your interestinhg varied subject questions. Avoid the lame questions such as "Where can I find a Mistress , I need training" No you don't need training instead getting to know each other to find out what she wants and how she likes things would be the way forward. Avoid messaging those Dominant Women who are more than 2 hours away from you. A relationship is easier to progress if you both live fairly near to each other. Mistress Whipplash Ma'am |
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Miki(masochist female)
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3 years ago •
Apr 10, 2021
I re-skimmed your profile too. It's been a while... You come across as a nice, fun-loving guy, but you might want to tweak the profile a bit. Like the whiplash lady said, ditch "wannabe" and either replace it with "aspiring" or better still, skip the adjective altogether.
The other thing you may want to tweak is, you posted copies of 2 Personals both going in the opposite direction. The first is the "wannabe sub" one and the other one says you're a dominant looking for a sub. You could correct your profile and say you're a Switch and delete the copy of one of those Personals. As is it can lead to confusion. The rest of what I'd say has already been covered. Avoid LDRs. They work only in the Friend Zone, as I do. But for the record, near or far, I'm not looking, so everyone is in the Friend Zone from which there is little chance of exit. Good luck and above all, always have a few gallons of patience on hand at all times. When I was "available", dommes were hard to find for me, as well... But "findommes" are relatively plentiful. Watch your backside! |
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MstressWhipplash(dom female)
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3 years ago •
May 21, 2021
In my opinion a submissive gets to know a person to find out how SHE wants to be pleased (NOT sex) then he offers to do that. IF she LIKES him as a person then she may invite him for a coffee and a chat.
Like you would behave in a regular dating situation with manners getting to know each other to see if there is a spark. A kink site does not mean free hook up sex. For me personally it is way to discuss topics with other kinksters. I don't meet anyone from this site. I go to FemDom munches and FemDom Events such as Pedestal in London to socialise face to face. So change your approach to realise you are a human being talking to a human being. Mistress Whipplash Ma'am |
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