Responding

Voldemort​(dom male) • Dec 27, 2020

Miki
You are right in your own right of course. If someone doesn't take the time to read your profile then of course it would be an unsolicited message as in your case.
But on the other hand if you are responding to an inference on the profile pertaining to what you are also looking for then i think one should respond even if it were a refusal.

DomJayy​(dom male) • Dec 27, 2020

I agree with what’s been said

New subs especially receive so many messages and it would be almost impossible to respond to them all

The creeps and abusive messages should be responded with an Instant block and those who haven’t taken the time to right a proper greeting other than “hey” can’t be mad when they do not get a reply for the lack of effort

But if someone takes the time to right a nice message they should be responded to out of courtesy. I would always rather a reply telling me they aren’t interested than no responses as it makes you think maybe they didn’t see your message rather than not interested so it’s great to know where you stand !

The amount of messages someone can receive is indeed a problem and so subs or doms can’t help but not get back to everyone sometimes even if by accident

Voldemort​(dom male) • Dec 27, 2020

DomJayy
I completely agree with you.

petiteluna​(sub female) • Dec 28, 2020

If they’re polite regardless if I want to chat or not—I’ll respond. 8/10 doms are fine with the ‘rejection,’ and it’s cordial. It’s the creepy, copy & pasted messages that I don’t even bother with

Voldemort​(dom male) • Dec 28, 2020

Petiteluna
Well the creepy ones should undoubtedly be blocked. And one should learn to accept being rejected. It does not always work. It's not because someone is a Dom that all the subs should start bowing down before him. And when i say that one should answer after being reached out to. I get that there may be issues. A flooded inbox. Being fed up with too many creepy messages. Time. Being a guy i don't receive creepy messages. I can imagine what it can be like for girls. And when I say that people should respond to those who reach out to them it's not a demand or an order. It's a polite request. The issue is that while I'm waiting for someone to reach back i may miss out on THE ONE. Most of the time I reach out i wait for the person to reach back. If I had received a positive response then all good but even a negative one would have meant that I can continue looking. And the time I've waited may have ruined my chances of finding my One.

MrFulmen • Dec 28, 2020

I'll tell you a magical trick for getting responses to your messages.

I started getting responses about five times more often as soon as I really, truly, completely stopped thinking I was entitled to a response.

Half-measures won't work. Thinking "I know I'm not entitled to women's attention BUT I wrote such a thoughtful message," or "BUT not responding is rude," or "BUT how will they meet a great guy like me if they don't respond," won't make the magic happen.

Because the magic is in how you present yourself. When you're hobbled by entitlement, in the back of your mind you keep thinking about how to write a message that will "get" this attractive stranger to respond to you. That will use the right words and invoke the right social scripts to obligate them to give you the response you believe you deserve.

You keep blaming strangers for wasting your time because you chose to send them a message and then you chose to sit around twiddling your thumbs waiting for them to respond. And while you're certain that the messages you're sending are scrupulously polite, that attitude tends to seep through. And it is not appealing.

Free yourself from entitlement, and it's so much easier to connect with people in a way that isn't subtly demanding. And undemanding invitations to connection tend to be much more appealing to respond to than ones that come loaded with a guilt trip about how you ought to respond.

Voldemort​(dom male) • Dec 28, 2020

Mr Fulmen
Thanks for the insight.

Miki • Dec 31, 2020

You're right on that one. I had not thought of profile posts that invite responses. Generally I would leave such to a Personals, ad if I were so inclined.

*****

(side note, I am neither offended nor annoyed by those who jot me a note after reading that profile... There is a button for that on the bottom of the screen, after all, just so long as I'm not expected to drop everything and respond before their digital ink dries or else be labeled as "rude".

That and of course any such message-authors shouldn't expect much more than a friendly "thanks for the note, How's it hanging?" reply rather than testing the strength of their zippers expecting me to respond while drooling all over my keyboard and/or rubbing one or two off in the process while dreaming of their hammers... It don't work that way.)

*****

Anyway, it just seemed a bit off to render a profile entry, which should just be descriptive of the individual in question, into a personals ad. That kind of "killing two birds with one stone" might be convenient for the poster but, well, to me it's just "meh".

But that's just me. There are lots of different strokes out there and I suppose everyone should stroke in a way that delivers their preference of "best results"

Redamancy • Dec 31, 2020

From personal experience, I often respond to the messages that start off with a simple "hello, how are you", or a short comment about my profile. If you do catch yourself trying to write the perfect, well scripted message, stop and just go with something simple. It leaves an air of mystery and in my opinion, dominance. I hope this helps.