My training...

My training...

NiccyKitten​(sub female){Owned} • Apr 23, 2018

So my Girlfriend/Domme and I went shopping for a new dinette set the other day, and of course, a major factor in picking out the chairs was how suitable they were for me to get tied to. We found a set, brought it home, and put it together. Of course, we were both anxious to test the durability of our new chairs so we did one of our usual "kidnap your favorite barista" role plays and she tied me to the chair and gagged me. We both like it when I play along with our role-play scenarios and struggle at least a little bit knowing that I'm not going to get loose nor do I really want to.

But then as we were enjoying our bondage play she sat in my lap facing me and smiled at me and pulled on my harness to tighten the ropes and get me to stop struggling. When I stopped she softly told me "good girl" and kissed my gag. I started struggling again and she again pulled on my harness and kissed me when I stopped. This happened a few times before it finally hit me : "Woah! She's TRAINING me!!!" My eyes lit up and I felt a rush of excitement. I tried to speak through my gag to tell her how excited I was she just said "shhhh, don't try to talk with a gag in your mouth, show me with your body." It was incredibly exhilarating.

My previous girlfriend tried training me but I didn't like how she treated me and it was no fun for either of us. I guess I took that to mean I wasn't into being trained but fortunately thanks to my girlfriend now I know how exciting it is.

Since that day we've put aside our usual role play and I've been a much more obedient sub for her. I feel like there's a whole new avenue of my submissiveness I get to explore, and she feels the same way about her dominance. She told me that unmistakable feeling of a sub's love is stronger than ever. We feel like we stumbled upon something in our relationship we didn't know was missing. We're both experienced with BDSM since even before our relationship started, but I haven't been trained (successfully) before her, and she says she's never trained a sub before (although she's really, and I mean really, good at it.)

She's actually a switch, but since we've started exploring this new avenue together she's been dominant more and she's putting my collar on me every day after I get home from work (and I love it.) But it also raises the question, when she eventually switches back to sub-mode and wants me to try training her I'm afraid I won't know what I'm doing. I try to be the best Domme I can when she needs to be submissive, although it doesn't come easily for me since I'm a natural sub. I'm afraid I won't be able to measure up to how good she is and I want to give her the best because one, she's amazing and deserves it; and two, she always gives me the best.

So has anyone else here stumbled into a new area of their BDSM lifestyle like this? We're both pretty new to the particular subject of training and would welcome hearing other stories, comments, or advice.

(Sorry, I know it's a long post, I'm just super excited and wanted to share)

Sterenda​(switch female){{owned}} • Apr 23, 2018

That sounds so amazing and sweet, congrats on finding someone like that.

An Alternate Possibility?

CapnRick​(dom male) • Apr 23, 2018

Hi Kitty,
Most fascinating post, and great background for your question.

The whole idea of being a switch is a little hard for a Dom-only guy, but I can sympathize a lot with you being a natural sub and having to try to Domme successfully. I can see it 'sorta' working in play scenes....but I suspect that as a natural sub, you will never fully grasp the mindset of real Domming.

So, without knowing your full circumstances or location, I'm going to risk an alternate thought for you both to consider, especially if you are lucky enough to live in a kink-friendly urban area.

Perhaps you both might consider getting into some sort of fetish-friendly club. The odds are pretty good that you might meet a Dominatrix who could dominate you BOTH....you wouldn't have to stress yourself trying to be the Domme you are not, and your partner might find the submission she might crave now and then. Plus, dint it together night even bring you closer together in your relationship, and teach you both new and useful things..

I don't mean to suggest that you do anything either of you might be uncomfortable with, just that lots of good, experienced Dominatrix are out there, many of whom would love the challenge of Domming you both as a couple.

Just a thought, and thanks for a really thought-provoking post.

NiccyKitten​(sub female){Owned} • Apr 24, 2018

Wow, Thanks Cap'n Rick for a great suggestion!

In the past, we did try an alt like you suggested. We happened to meet another local Domme (I'll call her Kristen for now) a while ago and after meeting up for coffee we decided to ask if she would be willing to come over for a couple subs. We did enjoy the experience and Kristen's a great Domme, but we didn't feel it was as meaningful as it is when it's just the two of us. Also, we had an open relationship back then and we have since become exclusive.

I talked to her about it and she said it reminded her of her apprehensions when she first collared me. She said she realized one day after we became an exclusive couple and moved in together that she could end up collaring me and she was really nervous. She was worried I might still have bad feelings about collaring from my ex who refused to collar me (which is really better although I didn't see it like that then.) She also told me she was worried that I might not accept a switch putting a collar on me. When she asked if I would wear a collar I said "YESSS!" and got down on my knees, which was awkward because then she had to explain she didn't actually HAVE a collar for me yet, she wanted to see if it would be ok first. One of those stories we look back and laugh about now. She assured me she likes what I do when she's submissive, and that I'll do fine if I just do my best and she doesn't want there to be any pressure. That did make me feel better but I'm still nervous about how I'll perform. I only recently discovered what it's like being trained as a sub, I'm nervous about trying the training from the other side.

As for finding a kink-friendly club, there aren't any that I'm aware of in the area, but that might be because I haven't really looked either. I'll get on that and see what I can find. So thanks for another great suggestion. I'll also see if I might even be able to reach out to Kristen and get her advice on the situation.

Apprehensions aside though, I'm still loving what we found together and her Domme mode is still going pretty strong. I'm trying to stay focused on the present and how much I'm enjoying being trained. It's really a thrill for me to be so obedient for her and we're both excited. When her sub side catches up I'll try to post again with an update. Thanks for your response!

Sterenda​(switch female){{owned}} • Apr 24, 2018

christ you two sound adorable i hope you have many years of fun.

Thanks!

NiccyKitten​(sub female){Owned} • Apr 24, 2018

Aww thanks, Sterenda!

We've had a long slow road together so far, but it's a lovely ride and even during our bad times I love her and know we'll get through it. Our good times are all different kinds of amazing. I've never felt this close to anyone else. She really is the one for me.