Predatory Behaviour

Predatory Behaviour

Boo78​(sub female) • Feb 1, 2021

A question for all the much loved true Doms here. How do you feel about predators that lurk here. We all know they exist and the most astounding thing is they think they won't get caught or maybe they simply don't care? It's amazing how the truth outs but my question is does it make you angry that these predators make your search harder. I know it's not the done thing to name and shame but subs talk and thank goodness they do. It's good that we get messages from each other asking opinions about Doms. That's one way of helping the good but hopefully preventing the bad and downright ugly fakes. Answers on a postcard please.
Boo x

House Talion​(dom male) • Feb 1, 2021

It sucks that ppl like this exist, but one bad apple doesnt always spoil the bunch. I've dealt with a lot of these ppl before as if they flocked to me and beleive it when I say it's so much worse when in groups as if their opinions are all that matter and they conglomerate at such a rate that they draw a following of probably good ppl. Then said good p see these bad apples as leaders of the community when all they actual want is to benefit themselves without a care of anyone else, even the subordinates of their own little group.

The best thing anyone can do is to talk about these types of ppl and their basic behavior. Tell the world of these things so that no matter how new someone might be or how inexperience they are, everyone knows of said bad apples.

Now as this is just a behavior issue that has been passed from one to another it is possible to turn new bad apples around by proving their behavior as toxic for the community and showing them by our actions of how someone should be acting as a member of the community instead of the virus they are

Boo78​(sub female) • Feb 1, 2021

The best thing anyone can do is to talk about these types of ppl and their basic behavior. Tell the world of these things so that no matter how new someone might be or how inexperience they are, everyone knows of said bad apples.

Very true and if a so called insta dom has had collared subs before his new 'victim' should be allowed contact his old 'victims'!! And if said dom does not allow that.... Red flag should be right up there.

DrWakko • Feb 1, 2021

It’s all about education. Everyone needs to be educated on this topic.

One of the problems with predator types is that if they get ban or rejected enough they can always cancel one account and start another. Making it hard to catch them.

Another problem is that they keep trying which means they get some kind of result. If they didn’t get a result they were looking for they would stop and try something else. So that means there is a group from the other side of the slash (happens on both sides) is allowing or falling for this behavior.

Even if we educate there will be a handful of predator types who get educated too.

Boo78​(sub female) • Feb 1, 2021

[quote="DrWakko"]It’s all about education. Everyone needs to be educated on this topic.

One of the problems with predator types is that if they get ban or rejected enough they can always cancel one account and start another. Making it hard to catch them.

Another problem is that they keep trying which means they get some kind of result. If they didn’t get a result they were looking for they would stop and try something else. So that means there is a group from the other side of the slash (happens on both sides) is allowing or falling for this behavior.

Even if we educate there will be a handful of predator types who get educated too.[/quote

A lot of these predators have MASSIVE egos and obviously compensating for lots of other things missing in their lives and when a so called dynamic goes wrong they blame it on everyone else except their own inadequacies as a person let alone a Dom.

DrWakko • Feb 1, 2021

@boo you keep focusing on “dom” but it happens to those who are both sides of the slash. You probably notice it more from the left side of the slash because of how you identify, but predator behavior does not know role, gender or age.

House Talion​(dom male) • Feb 1, 2021

"One of the problems with predator types is that if they get ban or rejected enough they can always cancel one account and start another. Making it hard to catch them."

I've been part the community for about 20 yrs and I have yet to find a site that is able to ban ppl based on their IP address. As everything leaves a trail it's my understanding that if you create an email with your cell and check it with your laptop then the IP addressing both devices are part of that email address's activation history, so by banning the IP address youd inevitably stop said individuals from being able to get additional accounts just by creating a new email for a new account. Theyd literally have to buy a new laptop or get a high end program to scramble their actual IP address

Boo78​(sub female) • Feb 1, 2021

Yes, very true DrWakko.... I 100% agree with you on that.

Quirkyrebel​(sub female) • Feb 1, 2021

I suggest educating yourself on predators. And calling the FBI if you get caught or in a close call with one! Even with threats, don't be afraid to ask around! Excluding primal predators... Predators are bad news! Have tons of allies who think about you! And reject meets in bars!

dollMaker​(dom male) • Feb 1, 2021

There is a dangerous myth put about that predators are always loan wolves, newbies, wanabes etc and that simply isn't true. History, kink history, public history, even Cage history says differently.

Community leaders, celebrities within the kink world, educators, those who are popular - plenty of followers, supporters, all can be predators. There is another dangerous myth put about that the only people that are predators are male dominants, or master's, kinksters, tops, switches etc. Predators, abusers can be anyone, male, female, trans, non binary, gender fluid. They can be straight, bi, gay, pan, basically anyone.

One of the worst abusers I have come across recently was popular, liked, respected, had a following, had fronts people to say how great they were, and attack dogs to take out anyone who dared to call them out. This person dominated a chat room, sat there like a giant spider in the centre of a massive web, sycophants and worshipers in attendance, every word sucked in and held in reverence. Anyone who raised a word, a question, was a malcontent, and crushed. Behind the scenes this person was destroying people, emotionally abusing them, then silencing them, driving them off site, into hiding and leaving them at best damaged at worst destroyed. It was almost a cult, subs fronted for them, praised them even created ways for them to suck in fresh meat.

This person was a community leader, taught classes, had a website, and had a solid veneer of respectability. This person knew their stuff, they walked the walk and could talk the talk. Nothing bad could be said about them anyone who did was silenced by the weight of popularity.

So hardly the type of person put across by many as those to watch out for. My advice, anyone could be a predator, abuser, and I mean anyone. Trust slowly and do your research into the person, don't ignore red flags and anyone raising issues about them should not be ignored.