Am I wrong? If so, tell me.

Am I wrong? If so, tell me.

LilMissB​(masochist female){Tradesman} • Feb 2, 2021

I have had SO MANY "expierenced doms" message me wanting to talk and get to know me. Whatever, thats cool. It says it says it on my profile and I'll say it here. Trust must be earned.
Yes, I am a brat. I am 100% a brat. But, I am looking to submit to someone who is willing to put in the time. I do not trust easily, and bending to your wants and needs is not interesting to me if I do not trust you. I am a brat, it says it in my name, for me to want to fulfill your wants and needs, you need to put in the time to do what it takes to make me WANT to submit. I'm hard headed, I'm not interested in sending my nudes out to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. So, messaging me for a night or two every few hours or whatever is not going to build trust. I will bend over backwards, for the right dom. I have always been under the impression that trust is key to a D/s relationship... Or am I wrong? If you're not interested in putting in the time, then I am not interested in sending you videos, pictures, or anything else.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Feb 2, 2021

Your not wrong in knowing what you want. If that knowing what you want, works for you...then isn't that a good thing?
if its not working for YOU, then maybe you need another approach or at least to take a step back and look at it clearer.
but YOU should haven't to give up what you are...compromise is another matter. Ask yourself am I compromising or giving up something important to me.

If your not trusting the other person and its important to you, then its not the right person. Just make sure your not using this issue as a safety. sometime you do need to step just a little outside the comfort zone.

LilMissB​(masochist female){Tradesman} • Feb 2, 2021

Thank you so much for responding! I have been stepping out of my comfort zone, but I dont know if some of these men are really who they say are. Does that make sense? And they're not really willing to show me other wise... Its just a red flag for me! But I seriously appreciate your feedback xx

House Talion​(dom male) • Feb 2, 2021

Do what you think is right for you. Time spent gaining trust is time well spent

Sensualgent​(dom male) • Feb 3, 2021

Tattooed brat,
You are right to keep yourself safe.
Make that your priority.
Anyone who cant appreciate why isn't worth knowing at this time in their lives. (they can always learn).

dirmn​(dom male) • Feb 3, 2021

Seconded.

FloraDragon​(dom male){Roaming Wi} • Feb 3, 2021

Time and patience, trust your gut - if it is too good to be true then question it, ask questions enquire ask others. You are correct trust of any relationship is a foundation stone that a connection can be built -

I class myself as a laid back gentleman Dom in a loving monogamous relationship that flourished here, interesting that brat behaviour never came up during the early days of our contact, we now question whether some of the behaviours verge (or are all in) by my submissive is bratty, (this is not an issue). It shows that relationships do develop and sometimes unexpected.

When I see Doms who are 'expert' a 'master' in the lifestyle I do question it. I am a participating in the lifestyle however there are others far more experienced than me but we are all on a learning journey, an an aside I used to work in social care after 22 years service I opted to move on but on the last week of service I experienced I had not been involved with in the previous 22 years. We are all learning all the time and never stop, (see you can teach an old dog new tricks).

When I met my partner we worked hard on developing our trust levels - moving from online names to real names to (gulp) the dreaded photograph - to the eventual meet - but it was the trust levels earned with each other that helped this process, each step forward felt natural.

I hope you move forward and find that trust needed in an individual to develop as a person, you are not wrong, (in my opinion), trust is essential if not paramount in developing a relationship.

Defender​(dom male) • Feb 3, 2021

You are young.

You are new on The Cage.

You will get a lot of males message you.

Spend time sorting the wheat from the chaff.

Some chaff are very good at disguising themselves as wheat.

The upside is that you are not alone on here.

Take advice every step of the way, if you feel you need it.

There is no rush. You have plenty of time.

plumppet​(sub female) • Feb 3, 2021

im old AND not a brat and most of the people that i chat with get to wanting to seriously injure me within days. There is some very nasty stuff in the air, people are working out lifetimes of trauma on top of the loneliness and anger caused by a pandemic. Unfortunately it means that we have to be even more careful than usual. There are those out there that will take the time to get to know you. Think of it like if you went to a bar. There are inevitably good people there, but the ones that stand out and speak up first are the drunkest and stinkiest of the batch. They work by hitting on as many women as possible and playing the numbers.

No matter what anyone says, it is perfectly ok to be you!

Master13​(dom male){MajesticLy} • Feb 4, 2021

Your attention, respect, trust and submission are always earned not taken. You are special and need to be treated as such.

This is actually how every person on this site should feel. No one should ever push anyone into something they are not ready for.

Most of the time things just dont match up and thats ok - say thank you for your time.

But the times that you find someone that causes you to think about when there next text or chat talk will be and they make you feel good - wow these are awesome.

Then the communication gates are open. This is where the trust and respect are built.

Hold true to your self - it will happen