Roleplay and what’s too far?

Roleplay and what’s too far?

emmmllliiininenine​(sub female) • Feb 11, 2021

I have always been big on fantasizing things that maybe my future partner would be not cool with. For instance, i really like roleplay and i love roleplay that involves power imbalance and being tied up and really into the role. Things like kidnapping roleplay or of that nature. But what is too far for someone who is vanilla or not into bdsm? Would that scare them away to know you like that kind of thing? How would you go about telling them your into that kind of thing without it seeing weird....?

Rivermxl • Feb 11, 2021

I, as a dominant, would be into it.

That being said. For good or bad, "too far" is dictated by each person and their limits. My best advice would be to be extremely subtle about it to a vanilla partner and watch their reaction carefully.

You can usually go from there. Best of luck!

emmmllliiininenine​(sub female) • Feb 11, 2021

Rivermxl,
Thank you for that reply,
He seems dominant but i really cant tell he also seems vanilla too. Its really hard to tell and i cant be extremely direct regardless. That just makes it akward. I will see if there is a subtle way to figure it out, but also it makes me extremely nervous.
Again, thank you!

Rivermxl • Feb 11, 2021

As a little extra; you can also feign vague interest on something related during one of your interactions and see if he takes initiative, that way you don't compromise much. Downside is that you'd have to wait for something related to BDSM to pop up or provoke it without causing suspicion.

My pleasure, best of luck.

House Talion​(dom male) • Feb 12, 2021

Consent. It's too much when it goes against anyone's consent. I'd draw the line at ransoms.

emmmllliiininenine​(sub female) • Feb 12, 2021

I agree consent, i am wondering what someone who is vanilla would think. or maybe not vanilla but someone who doesnt know bdsm, would the idea of roleplaying something like kidnapping be bad to talk about? maybe too much to someone who doesnt understand what its all about. i dont want to scare them or seem weird. consent would be important but thats always established first. i would be worried if there was no consent with kidnaping lol.
thanks for your response.

MelMell​(dom female) • Feb 12, 2021

As someone very open about her bdsm likes.. vanilla people don’t understand and think that bdsm as a whole is extremely weird and they don’t see the point. A kidnapping scene would be too much for someone vanilla and even some in bdsm might not even be into it.
Personally if I want to know the answer to something I just outright ask but not everyone can be as forward. So maybe try beating around the bush. Ask him about small things like blindfold and tying someone up and if he would like that. Those, I’ve found, are things that even vanilla people will do. Maybe by asking this he will tell you if he’s a dominant or not. He might just be kinky.

emmmllliiininenine​(sub female) • Feb 12, 2021

Thank you for the response Mell. I worry bringing up something like kidnapping or anything too far in bdsm might scare him away. He is dominant but idk how far that extends i guess. I have asked a few questions but he doesnt like giving straight answers(and I understand we r not dating i just like him) so something too far would probably be a big no no. I wish i could be forward but i tried and it just makes it akward and he doesnt feel comfortable talking about it. I might could ask him if he has ever been blindfolded but i worry that might be weird to him. I appreciate these ideas and your thought out reply. I will be thinking about these things. Thank you.