Switch

Switch

Bad Kitty Ohio​(dom female) • Feb 21, 2021

So here is my story, I am mostly a mistress, I have 2 subs and I am married and submissive to my hubby, but it's not working anymore, he's only dominant when he wants to be, I need more then that. I need someone that is fine with me having subs but willing to dominate me in all aspects of life. Is this even possible? Any possible doms I've found are never dominant enough, I'm too dominant myself.

House Talion​(dom male) • Feb 21, 2021

You want your 'Clapper'

The Clapper is that one thing or person that makes you switch. Whether from Dom to aub or sub to dom, it's usually unintentional and completely everything you've always wanted.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Feb 22, 2021

is it possible? I think so...I think everyone has a perfect partner, if you look hard enough.

but I guess your next question should be, is what does your husband think of this?
Do you move on and leave him, give him a chance to step up (if he wishes to) or is he fine with adding another and if you do, where does that leave or fit in with him.

Try talking to your husband if you haven't already because its actually him that holds all the cards!

Bad Kitty Ohio​(dom female) • Feb 22, 2021

MissBonnie: Let me correct you. He does not hold all the cards, nowhere near that. I run this household, I go to work, I pay all the bills. He stays home and helps watch the baby when the grandparents can not. I might submit to him, because that is the switch in me, but he will never have the final say in anything really.

House Talion: I don't want a switch, I want a dom. I have subs of my own, I don't need another.

Jersey Firewalker​(dom male) • Feb 22, 2021

I think you answered your own question. You clearly do need (not want, but NEED) to be dominated in your daily life by a man who is "on" 24/7 and does not dominate you once in a while only. If it doesn't come naturally to him then he's probably not the one for you.

Having your own subs is fine (as long as your dom permits you to have them).

Re: Switch

MrFulmen • Feb 22, 2021

I can tell you for certain that it's possible. I've had great relationships with people who dominated in their other relationships and submitted full time to me.

I can also tell you that this belief:

is a huge roadblock between you and getting what you want. Successful D/s isn't a contest of who is more dominant; it's built from both partners committing to their respective roles and both taking responsibility for making the dynamic work. People who go in with an attitude like "I'm so domly. You need to out-dom me and make me submit, and if this doesn't work it's your fault for not being as domly as me," are forever undermining their own dynamics.