Moments of doubts

Cherry2000​(sub female) • May 5, 2018

I agree Masterneil77722. I was open and honest with my feelings and found out later that he wasn't. I felt hurt and betrayed. I gave him a chance to be honest about what he really wanted, trying to see if we could work things out. Hoping that maybe we had just crossed wires or something. He assured me that we were on the same page. I then caught him in the same lie as the first. It has been difficult to move on from that, but every day I get more confident in myself and my worth as a sub.

Sterenda​(switch female){{owned}} • May 6, 2018

I'm mostly rehashing what the others said but i enjoy chatting with you and would miss you if you left. So yes being on basically rush when you first enter into the scene is 100% normal subs feel it doms feel it ((even if some swear they don't)) switches and everyone else experiences it. Its a new and potentially life changing chapter in your life. just like with energy other change there are hurdles you will have to sadly deal with losers, people stuck in fantasy land or just outright horrible dangerous people that should be reported and made to feel unwelcome often for the safety of newbies like you.

my personal rules for when I receive a dm are as follows. Is it a dom or straight male? first thing i look at is the info on the profile filled out (almost every time it wont be to any acceptable degree. 2 where do they claim to be located 3 if filled out do their intrests match my doms and I. 4 if there are pictures do I feel i could play with interact with etc for potentially the rest of my life ie are they extremely hard on the eyes, too small a dick for my tastes, do they rely on hiding behind make up so on.

Also the content of their message matters if it was some throw away line, their profiles blank and their role/ interests don't match i either don't reply have a bit of fun mocking them or also block them to keep them out of my hair. I am also very impatient with questions that could be answered very easily if they had bothered to read our entire profile. ((especially on fetlife where its very extensive and spells everything out etc.)) to me if they cant be bothered to read our profile why do I owe them any my time? other pet peeves that end things fast are the questions like can i have nudes or are you a boy or a girl or the follow up question do you have a penis? or if when i reply and ask them to tell me about themselves in detail btw they just say shit like i want to be dominated then start rambling off their fantasy.

A couple final notes to this wall of text. You don't owe any "dom" that dms you a fucking thing even less so if they act like you do based on your role or gender imo insta block the assholes who try that kinda thing.

Don't feel guilty for not replying, i understand the feeling where you might be missing out on the one you so desperately want but frankly 95% of the people who message you will be bots people who want money or just general shitlords/ kids

hell i'm not even good at taking my own advice that i just typed :3 I could proablly ramble more but gunna stop here with

My dms are always open for advice ranting or chatting.

redcutie​(dom trans woman) • May 10, 2018

Im sorry you had such a bad experience. I have been in a similar situation and know how much it hurts. Sadly people often are not what they pretend to be, especially online, and not everyone who claims to be a dom is worth our trust. You are definitely worth being a sub and its more his loss than yours. I hope you will find more self confident soon.

redcutie​(dom trans woman) • May 10, 2018

Hello Liliac

Yeah the initial enthusiasm is an amazing feeling and its common to dampen after some time. I think d/s is like everything else in life where you feel extremely excited in the beginning and cant get enough of it while after a while you hit a minor down. For me I see advantages in both. Maybe use the time to read, learn and figure out what you really want to do. I find that when Im super motivated to do everything under the sun I dont give myself enough space and time to learn more of what is out there and ponder what I want and dont wanna do.

Bunnie • May 11, 2018

I think sometimes the struggle can be between the idea of how you think it “should” be, versus the reality of how it is. At first that bridge is quite large, but as the gap begins to close, and you adjust, things will begin to settle again.

Athena​(sub female) • May 31, 2018

I’m a little late in adding to this forum but do think it’s good to know you’re not alone Liliac. I’m in the same situation. I haven’t been on this site for very long so still a bit enthusiastic but it’s fading fast. Replied to all of the messages at first as you did. Then I started looking at their profiles knowing if someone lived too far away or wasn’t a good match for me it was better to just not reply. I feel badly. I’m sure you’ve felt that as well. But what can you do? I started talking to someone and really thought it was going to work and then he just disappeared. Now I am totally afraid to even try again. The whole thing is daunting. I guess my point is if you don’t have friends you can discuss his with, maybe just find a friend on here who’s similar to you that you can just vent to and be reminded you’re not alone. Because you aren’t. There’s someone out there for you. There is!