How does one find a mentor

How does one find a mentor

anonymousrob​(switch male) • Apr 8, 2021

My wife and I have begun to explore this lifestyle and she wants me to become the dominant. As I am completely inexperienced in this role, I was wondering how I would go about finding a mentor? I want to be the best I can but also do so in a safe manner. Any help you can provide would be wonderful. Thanks in advance!

House Talion​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2021

Seek and ye shall find! On this site your best bet is to view the forum posts that you like and check the responses. You're sure to find someone here to mentor you based on the answers that gave

Miki​(masochist female) • Apr 9, 2021

Also check out the blogs. And somewhere in here are links to resource material one can read. It can be a bit easier to read up on the experiences of others from when they started out on this warped (to the outside world) lifestyle than to ask someone to be a mentor.

Mentoring, literature, pieces in here are all are good ways to learn, though. Don't get me wrong.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2021

This is a great question!

It's lovely to see the care and consideration you have for this path of exploration. Along with the good advice from the other commenters I'll chime in to say, glean from others as you go.

I've found The Cage to be a place where you can find solid advice from a variety of people.

Hope you have many wow moments along the way@

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} • Apr 9, 2021

I strongly recommend finding real life mentors, a dominant guy for you and a submissive woman for her (or a couple in a relationship would be good too!). Online forums are great, but real life mentors can actually teach you and experience your relationship with you. Check for munches in your area, and some places have established mentoring programs. Make sure you interview and vet people. You want to make sure you stay away from creepers and assholes.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2021

@Simplylaura

Quote "You want to make sure you stay away from creepers and assholes."

A very direct and needed adage! I was hoping you and others might chime in with the covert ways of *ssholes. Obviously, the obvious will be obvious but what would you say the more subtle clues might be?

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Apr 9, 2021

As indicated by the others so wisely above, read a plethora or blogs and forum posts and see what might resonate best with you. There are a number of exceptional bloggers on both sides of the slash. If I might be so bold, the following are worth considering:

Dominant
Civilized Stallion
DaddyDrago

Submissive (Often rife with tantalizing gifs and such, but also great advice on the path of a submissive)
Lilamethyst
SirsBabyDoll (the art of the brat)
SerenetyMuse
Sensual City Girl
Morley
Alawey

Sadly there aren’t as many Dominant bloggers as submissive, but those that I mention are a wealth of information. There are others I enjoy reading and interacting with. Once you’ve read the blogs and how they comment in forum posts, read their profiles and consider if they are someone you would want to emulate or learn from. Then reach out even if to simply ask a few questions. Most of the Dominants I interact with are very receptive to answering a question.

I think by choosing those you reach out to, you’ll avoid interacting with creepers entirely, since you’ll be the Master of your own destiny. Good luck in your search.

LL

anonymousrob​(switch male) • Apr 10, 2021

Thank you so much for all of your help. I really appreciate it. I’ve started reading a few books and now I’m looking at these bloggers. You guys have been so helpful and I really appreciate it.