| SubGirlJess(sub female) |
3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
Rules
I was wondering, what types of rules may be enforced during both play and lifestyle? Also, if the rules are broken, what type of punishments may be used?
I'm quite new to this and would love to hear some thoughts and/ or ideas:) x |
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Online now
Dragonlove(sub female)
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3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
This is an insanely broad question that varies wildly from person to person. Are you just looking for examples in others' lives?
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Rivermxl
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3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
Dragon said it first, a book could be written about all the rules and punishments and it'd need several tomes to take into account most aspects of what everyone likes about the lifestyle.
Rules can go from anywhere like when to speak and what to say, to sitting, standing or doing things a certain way, special clothing that must be worn, chores that must be completed, it really can take a while to think about rules that can be implemented into the lifestyle, in the end, practically any rule could work into it. Same goes for punishments, you have classics that would cause pain or discomfort such as kneeling in rice, nipple clamps or s good old spanking/flogging/paddling; also holding a certain position for a long while, being tied or otherwise restrained, not getting something that is desired, you name it... These work differently for everyone since literally all the ones I've mentioned could also be used as rewards for the right type of person (looking at you, masochists and rope bunnies). So in the end you're better off discussing these in direct conversation with anyone you're planning to play with or learn from, making sure limits are always respected and such basics. Happy spanking! - River |
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| Brandt(dom male) |
3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
SubGirlJess - Dragonlove is right on the money. Whatever consenting adults deem to be important and appropriate for them falls under the umbrella. You use the word "enforced". In most D/s relationships, the partners agree what degree of authority the D has over the s, what areas of life that authority extends to and what consequences are appropriate for failure to comply. The rules can pertain diet, exercise, hygiene, career, education, sexual activities, clothing, the right to speak and how to speak, how to present yourself, social activities, financial matters - the list is almost endless. Within that list and much more, rules can be created and enforced provided the partners agree that those rules meet their needs and goals. If you can be more specific, there are many on this site who can help you.
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House Talion(dom male)
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3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
As a sub the rules are agreed between you and your Dom as well as whatever punishments. If you were a slave it wouldn't be as easy, as a slave your Master doesn't need your consent.
That is all based of course in after having a Dom that has acquired your consent and has been deemed worthy of your eternal submission to the point that you trust them with your life and have already given consent for everything and anything and thus is why you would call them Master and not Dom or Sir. |
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| redpoll(dom male) |
3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
"If you were a slave it wouldn't be as easy, as a slave your Master doesn't need your consent."
Not to diverge here, but I have to speak up, this is pure rubbish, and extremely dangerous rubbish at that. A D/s relationship without consent isn't practicing BDSM, it's practicing manipulation and abuse. Identifying a relationship as a Master and slave does not rid yourself of the need of consent. Anyone deserving of calling themselves a Master would never create a dynamic that doesn't prioritize consent. So, first off these terms are all broad and nebulous and you should just call yourselves whatever most turns you on and connects yourself with your partner and go on creating the unique positive dynamic that uplifts both of you. It is entirely okay and acceptable to disregard all of the subjective definitions the community places on these titles and just seek fun and communion with your partner. With that said, universally, what my friend HouseTalion is referring to is an understanding that the slavery lifestyle does put a far greater weight on a serious commitment to obedience. My personal definition is that a submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience. A submissive retains freedom of choice and a slave gives her freedom of choice to her Master. But The onus for that obedience being there is primarily on the Master. Are his partner's needs fulfilled? Are her wants respected and attended to? Does the command lead to her benefit or a more fulfilling dynamic? Is the command safe? Is it healthy? What we're really talking about here is a beautiful intimacy and trust, in where the slave knows that her partner knows her, and values her, and is always going to put her first. Consent has already been well-established. And if any of the above elements aren't being respected at any time, the slave has every right to withdraw her consent. In fact, by every means, she should. And Even if they are respected, but the slave finds the dynamic isn't positive or healthy for her, or just wants something different, she can still say no. And if you ignore her and engage in play anyway, it's still abuse, it's still rape. Your titles of Master and slave don't change any of that. Nothing changes the importance and needed presence of consent. It's not something that's just negotiated beforehand and put to the side, it is moment-by-moment, always present, always affirmed and always prioritized by both partners. In every relationship. In every dynamic. You dominate your submissive with her power, given freely and willingly from her, and it is hers to withdraw at any time. You never dominate her with your own. |
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| Brandt(dom male) |
3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
redpoll, very true and very well stated.
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MasterRon(dom male)
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3 years ago •
May 7, 2021
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DukeOfPayne{Training C}
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2 years ago •
Feb 8, 2022
RULE 1.
The most important rule of all is always always always be honest. To your Dom and to yourself. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Feb 8, 2022
House Talion wrote: If you were a slave it wouldn't be as easy, as a slave your Master doesn't need your consent. That is all based of course in after having a Dom that has acquired your consent and has been deemed worthy of your eternal submission to the point that you trust them with your life and have already given consent for everything and anything and thus is why you would call them Master and not Dom or Sir. Eternal submission? Trust him with my very life? He can do *everything and anything* because all consent is removed? I've been involved in this lifestyle for over 25 years and have never witnessed any real life dynamic that resembles anything like this. I'm actually relieved to be able to say that. 🤷🏻
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