Long Distance Tasks Ideas

Long Distance Tasks Ideas

Chocolate Mistress​(dom female) • May 21, 2021

I've been reading quite a few blogs lately on long distance BDSM being possible but I would like to ask for clear specific tasks that could help keep my sub busy when we are apart. He loves chastity however long term chastity is not an option for us at this time. I would like to know more on Mantras as well if anyone is keen to share. We both have busy schedules and this is a journey we are both committed to. I am a tad concerned though that maybe long distance may not be for me, but I would like to try all available options that could possibly work for us before making a decision. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Dressing​(dom male) • May 21, 2021

It's probably not very helpful, so I'll keep it short.

Whenever I've had an online sub, I've always asked myself "where is this person right now, and where do I want them to be". Choosing a task requires you to know the person fairly well, as I've experienced countless times how an unambitious sub just couldn't get into the habit, no matter how much I tried to encourage it. So, if you're unsure, try some very simple and menial tasks, such as just saying good morning and good night with a little message attached, or self-reflecting on the day and finding a couple of good things the sub did for you, and just one thing the sub can do better tomorrow. You have to hold out a carrot, sure, but there is also an innate level of dedication that the sub will put into the task. For example, some subs will carry out the tasks to the letter and put in effort to make it good, and some subs will do the absolute minimum and it'll require you to think up some discipline (though because it's online it can just be a bad spiral and end up collapsing if that's the case).

Since it's online, it's VERY hard to "force" a sub to do anything if the sub doesn't want to do it. If the sub begins to grow tired of the tasks, or feel they aren't stimulating enough, then change your approach, and if that doesn't work, then it could be because you two just aren't a fit.

TL:DR
Give the sub something simple to see how well the sub keeps up with online tasks
I hope others comes up with some fun/interesting tasks for you to try!

Chocolate Mistress​(dom female) • May 21, 2021

Thank you Dressing that is very helpful

littleMagpie​(sub female) • May 21, 2021

So...today is actually our anniversary, one year of super long distance.
We’re both pretty busy, and found different ways to work it, mainly with being flexible but also scheduled.
Every Sunday we talk about the week ahead.
There are basic tasks I’ve to do no matter what (water, yoga, am/pm pics etc) and the rest we adapt week by week to make sure we can both commit the time or effort required - there are times he works five nights shifts a week and it sends things all to pot.
One of the little things I enjoy is that he will message me affirmations, and I’ve got to voice note them back, so I’m saying it out loud and he can hear how much I believe it lol.
Communication is crazy important because bratting for attention doesn’t get caught as quickly when you can’t see what’s going on.
We’ve done things like anal training which was fun/torture haha, research and stuff.
If chastity is something then maybe find time in the day where he’s wearing it and you’ve got the space to input and tease and make it fun.
How much we do varies greatly with what’s happening, but it’s been a wonderful year, it’s difficult at times but I wouldn’t change it.

Chocolate Mistress​(dom female) • May 21, 2021

Thank you Little Magpie, I am just glad that it is possible.