Perfect Match(the Unicorn )/ Or several magical creatures

Perfect Match(the Unicorn )/ Or several magical creatures

zash • Jun 1, 2021

Hello everyone;)

I am thinking all day regarding this post ...( actually since yesterday night ) ... but I manage to find the right words this morning ...( under the shower , I do believe that the most interesting ideas comes in the bathroom 😂...) and of course the time now to be able to ask this question.

I had a interesting conversation with a friend , regarding the perfect match - Unicorn and the possibility and probabilities to find it , and the potential outcome “disappointment “ when is hard , nearly impossible to find . And the other options available to be able to get satisfied in your needs and at the same time not hurting people .

This made me think 🤔.....

Is it possible , when having imagined the perfect Dominant or Submissive, and we are ( at least me 😂) so stubborn that We want exactly that but at the same time being monogamous , ever to find it , or we are just missing possibilities to explore , just because we want and we would not settle for less than that ? Or imagine we find the nearly perfect match and the closest to perfection person , not ticking maybe 1-2 boxes only , but soon or later that boxes that was not ticked , become the reason to end the dynamic and go back to the start of the search ?

And could this be a reason why polyamorous people have the relationships with more than one partner , but the needs they have are met , not from one but from more than one person ? Is it because is hard to find the all in one or this has nothing to do with it ?

I don’t want to be understand wrongly ,I respect everyone’s way of life and kink, Poly or Mono , this is just a thoughts ...and a way for me to understand it .

Z

MrFulmen • Jun 1, 2021

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

Partnerships aren't found, they're built. To get a great relationship, start with someone with whom you're pretty well compatible and commit, together, to building something better week by week. If you look to find something perfect out of the box, you'll always be able to find a flaw and a reason to move on.

I've been nonmonogamous my whole life, and I think this applies to poly just as much as it does to Mono. Folks who think of poly as an effort to fill their stable with magical beasts who check all their boxes are never satisfied. The people in happy poly relationships are the ones who focus less on the boxes and more on what they can build with the partners they click with.

Truppensturm​(sub male) • Jun 2, 2021

I think unicorns exist in fantasy, not in reality. You will be able to construct your perfect dom or sub within the boundaries of your mind, but reality is different. To expand on this topic, have you ever been in a dom/sub relationship when you were not attracted to them at first?

zash • Jun 2, 2021

No ... there was attraction that started on a mind level , before going into a face to face meeting ... and maybe the attraction that was already build created the physical attraction as well 🤔

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Jun 3, 2021

Find your perfect match in imperfection.

I can't count the number of times it was my Sirs flaws that endeared me to him and his/our ability to navigate them, how they match my own and how I can also be comfortable making mistakes, because I am no longer burdened by having to feel perfect.

Rosybeth​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Jun 4, 2021

I think that everyone already put out some great answers, so I will just suggest that you set a few requirements that you will not budge on and then work with your partner to build on the rest. In that way, your partner will eventually be made into your unicorn

Re: Perfect Match(the Unicorn )/ Or several magical creatur

CharlotteDevil{Insert you} • Jun 4, 2021

oo gave me a good roleplaying idea I wanna b a unicorn🥰

rebeltoya​(sub female) • Jun 5, 2021

there is nothing as perfect. we all are human and we all have flaws and it would be boring to have someone as perfect. once there is trust, communication, and honesty and relationship can work. it takes time and patience.

Dressing​(dom male) • Jun 6, 2021

I like to think of finding matches the same way I think of steaming wood to bend it.

Being able to find the perfect fit is very unlikely. And while it WOULD increase your chances to search through as many partners as possible, it is generally looked down upon by society to be jumping from relationship to relationship. Which means you will have to settle on some points, if you can't personally check every match.

Let's just say that everything you want means the wood is fine as is. There is nothing you wish changed, so you leave it be. The more you want changed, the more you have to bend the wood. If you bend it too far, it will snap and break. Which literally just means that if there's too much pressure for the wood, or the match, to be very different than they are, they will not be willing to change that much.

The process of steaming wood helps it bend better. You might introduce someone to something slowly, and in a healthy way, that allows them to grow into the idea. The quality of the wood and what sort of wood it is, would also affect how easily it can be bend. Meaning, each person is different, and while steaming does help, it might help more with other types.

The most important thing, though, that you have to keep in mind, is that YOU are also a piece of wood in your partners eyes. You will also have to be open to the idea of bending to fit their image of perfection. Which just means that while you're busy trying to bend someone, they might be busy trying to bend you too. Rather than the perfect match, I think it's much more realistic finding a match where you can both bend without breaking.

BoredPanda​(sub female) • Jun 21, 2021

I can say that unicorns do exist. I had no intention of finding a new Dom after (amicably) ending things with my new Dom. Me and my current D talked via text for two months before we met up. It was clear right away that we are more than just compatible. Now, 6 months later, it is still just as powerful. We have all the same kinks, limits, and -more importantly- life goals.

I don't think it is healthy to look for perfect. But, if it lands in your lap, don't waste time questioning it. Just enjoy the ride.