Doms wearing restraints? Curious what others think

Doms wearing restraints? Curious what others think

TheDankLord​(switch male) • Jun 7, 2021

So this is something I've been thinking about recently and I'm wondering if others have the same idea. Obviously, putting a submissive in bondage is an effective and fun way of asserting dominance and control over them. You limit their ability to move their body, making certain tasks difficult or impossible for them and establishing a clear difference in power between partners. But I'm curious about how many people enjoy scenes where the dominant partner is also in some form of restraint?

First of all I think the look and feel of restraints is something that can be enjoyed independent of a power dynamic. For example I've had a few partners where we just wore restraints for their own sake, without any kind of power exchange involved. I can enjoy wearing restraints even when im not feeling submissive, and I like seeing women in restraints even when I'm not feeling dominant.

When a power dynamic is involved I think this could work quite well if the level of restraint is not the same for both partners, with the submissive being in a substantially stricter predicament. For example, if I were in handcuffs and leg irons, but my submissive was, say, hogtied or locked in a cage, I'd have no problem feeling extremely dominant and confident in my ability to control the situation. I'd have the key to the restraints and my submissive would not, we'd both be in bondage but I would be the only one with the means to release either of us. I'd likewise feel very submissive if those roles were reversed.

I think there's a psychological aspect too that could be great. Not sure others, but I feel like I'd be in even deeper submission if I am in such a helpless and vulnerable position that I can be dominated, overpowered, and controlled by a person who is wearing restraints themselves. Its one thing to be restrained and dominated by a person who still has their freedom. But imagine the feeling of utter powerlessness you'd get from being forced to worship shackled feet, being whipped by hands that are cuffed or tied together, or seeing a dom in restraints knowing they can free themselves and you cannot. Its like they have such a complete and absolute degree of control that they can dominate you even when superficially in a similar situation. They humiliate you trivialize your predicament by choosing it for themselves freely, while you helplessly endure it unable to escape. For them it is a playful novelty while for you it is the means of your subjugation. I'm turned on just thinking about it.

What do you all think? Is this a weird idea that just appeals to me? Am I alone in these thoughts? Or have others had the same idea? Does this sound like fun do those who are strictly dom or sub as opposed to a switch like me? I'm wondering if me being a switch is part of what makes this sound sexy to me.

Oneironaut L​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2021

Huh, that is an interesting thought. I could definitely see plenty of people wearing restraints as part of their look. Where my mind jumped when reading the question was if there were multiple subs in a scene and kind of a hierarchy between them. Of course the "dominant" sub might well be a switch! So maybe it is a "switch" thing, personnally being restrained doesn't excite me at all but it is an intriguing perspective.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jun 7, 2021

My views are very much like above by Oneirnaut, yes many wear things like collars or cuffs, leather harness as Dominants as a part of the "look" (very popular in Gaydom) but I'd put that more down to ascetics than a fetishized item, in that situation. ... heck just look at Femdom corsets and thigh boots and heels on Dommes if you want a more mainstream "look" "restraints with a certain look, that do some what restrict free movement" LOL We wear them because we like to dress (appear) in that way (or dont), or because it makes us feel "attractive" (I personally don't feel sexual excitement or true fetishism, wearing them, although they play into that slightly as hetero men are often more visually stimulated by what a female wears and this in turn could increase her feeling of "sexiness" knowing she is "more" desirable by this "addition" if she chooses to do so. in this case "dressing" can likened to just another tool in a Dommes arsenal)


I would also question in the above OPs scenario, if a "switch" and if a true "fetishism" is bondage in the form mentioned, how would one stop "sub" space of the "Dominant" and maintain all safety aspects and clear headiness? Playing devils advocate. Not my thing so maybe I'm missing something and not understanding but how is this being "dominant".... it sounds more a submissive action to me and a way to address those "personal" needs, without letting go under the guidance of a Dominant.
Of course if this appeals to both sides of the arrangement, then the "title" of each person only matters to them and no one should be judging another.

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Jun 8, 2021

Maybe I am just being very simple minded on the whole thing. Please correct me if so.

Isn't this just like top and bottom? My Dom can be the bottom, if that includes me spanking him or "restraining him" temporarily, he is still my Dom. No? I am not sure, because my submission doesn't involve that. But I could still be a submissive taking orders from someone who is directing me in how to restrain them, or that they like it. I am still following orders. Sure I am top in that situation, but it is only because my Dom made that choice.

MrVesper​(dom male){Not Lookin} • Jun 8, 2021

No your not alone. I sometimes enjoyed being in bondage with a sub. pretty much as you said. the sub in a much more restrictive form and i controlled the way out. but my movement is limited so its not a total control thing. or it could be as simple as the sub wearing a collar, and the lead is locked to a locking wrist cuff on my arm, while the keys for both of us are in time lock. we are physcially connected, literally tied to each other. i've played like this and it was a lot of fun. the top is still in control, but is also restrained. its just a physical expression of what we go through psychologically.

We may be in charge, control the scene...but we are not free to do whatever we want. we still must abide by certain rules. by sharing this with a sub, to show you are willing to submit to some degree, that your actions are literally tied to their behavior, can be quite erotic. its another way to demonstrate trust to your partner and further deepen the connection.

"We are, I am, you are by cowardice or courage the one who find our way back to this scene carrying a knife, a camera a book of myths in which our names do not appear."--Adrienne Rich

Dommes Wearing Restraints

ChampagneDomme​(dom female){N/A} • Jun 9, 2021

Pour quoi pas?
I am restrained via undergarments: girdles, a waist cincher, corset, etc. High heels. Over the knee boots. This to me, is female body bondage.
Also, being fully costumed, as my subservient lies naked at my feet.

Think:Iconic photo by Liebowitz of Yoko Ono and John Lennon.

Veejay​(dom male){BaeBGirl} • Jun 12, 2021

Do whatever you want it’s between you two. If you want to do it and still be a Dom, then you’re a Dom. Don’t get hung up on the labels my friend just have fun and connect with each other.

MrFulmen • Jun 12, 2021

The way I see it, someone who has the self-awareness to know what they want and the confidence to build relationships and scenes custom tailored to their own unique passions is doing a better job at dominance than someone who restricts themselves to a stereotype of how "a dominant" is supposed to look and act.