Sir'smisty(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 19, 2021
Green Flags
I saw a video on TicTok today that really made me curious about what other people would answer:
When you meet someone into kink, what are the green flags you're looking for? I'm talking about the positive behavours that signal potential friendship/mentorship/match? I'll start: I have several along the way, but the very first one is when someone contacts me back when they said they would. If I can't trust their word in the first two weeks, then I'm never going to be able to trust their word. Messaging when they said they would (within reason) is the start of building that trust. |
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Online now
acquiesced(sub male)
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3 years ago •
Jun 19, 2021
Mind blown from the opposite of the normal 'red flag' question...
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Moonstruck
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3 years ago •
Jun 20, 2021
Time. They're not in a rush. They're willing to get to know me, to understand me, and allow me too get to know them. Time is essential because trust takes time to develop. You can't have one without the other.
Respect. They don't push me beyond what I'm willing to give until I say that they can. |
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Sir'smisty(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 20, 2021
Another one for me is being careful with their own personal information. This almost seems counter intuitive. But hear me out:
I have a pretty public job. I'm well known in my community. Kink isn't something I openly indulge in because of that job and that community. So, if this new person is not protective of their own security, I cannot expect that they would be protective of mine. I'm not saying they should be completely opposed to disclosing anything personal, because that is a flag of a different colour, but I need them to be protective of their privacy initially. |
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Zhivago
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3 years ago •
Jun 20, 2021
When someone goes out of their way to do something nice for me.
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SageFlame(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 20, 2021
Active listener, engaging conversation
* ding ding ding! Good communication is so sexy! |
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LilMissB(masochist female){Tradesman}
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3 years ago •
Jun 20, 2021
Oh wow... Literally love this!
I have several... Takes their time getting to know me, not in a rush. Goes out of their way to message me and let me know they're thinking about me. Good at sexting, distance is a thing, so I like to play online. Funny, they can make me laugh or smile with their messages. |
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badmonkey(sub male)
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3 years ago •
Jun 21, 2021
What a fantastically positive way of looking at things. Love it.
For me taking time to get to know each other personally. Even if they are a match kink wise I like to know that someone is more than just their perversions. I would want them to think the same. That would be the big one for me. |
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purplevelvet(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Jun 21, 2021
Here are some of mine:
Future thinking - they're interested in planning things together with you Enthusiasm - you can sense their excitement in what they do and how they do it Sharing - you always get something back when you share something personal, kink or not Openness - they dare to be open about things very intimate |
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BoredPanda(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 21, 2021
My green flags seem contradictory.
1) doesn't ask too much too fast. I don't like, " Hi, are you into CNC?" Take time to build up to those intimate topics. 2) Open to talking about everything. As the conversation develops, be brave enough to be truthful and avoid people pleasing answers. |
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