Getting Involved in the Community Safely

Getting Involved in the Community Safely

Milanta • Jul 2, 2021

I’m trying to ease into the community safely and respectfully.
A little background:
I think I may be submissive. The omly types of porn of erotica that turn me on have always involved domination even in my teens. I like light pain when I masterbate (have dappled with anal play and vaginal spanking alone). My sexual fantasies have revolved around domination for the better part of 8 years. Usually including bondage, light discipline, and light to moderate impact play.
On top of that any dating I have tried to do has failed miserably. I try to date and can be attracted to a woman only to completely lose any attraction once I realize I would have to be the one to take charge (i have a big personality so this has always been a pattern in my life). I crave the trust and connection I’ve always read about.
I want to respectfully enter the community to learn more about who I am and if what I believe my sexuality to be holds up in real life experiences. So I guess my question is how do I do that? Do I sound like I’m just kidding myself in looking for a place I fit?

CSI • Jul 2, 2021

Hello, welcome, and congratulations on starting this journey. The great news is that there is a place for everyone in whatever capacity they choose to engage as. My suggestion would be to find munches (kinky people meeting up in neutral locations as more of a meeting and greeting) in your area, possibly attend dungeon training sessions (you could learn about bdsm 101 or more specific things like shibari or fireplay). I always recommend reading and researching what it involves and sort of figure out where you fit in. You don't have to fit neatly solely in to one box or ascribe to any one label.

Tl;dr Get to know people on-line and in person, do not rush in to anything, thoroughly vet, and remember to breathe.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 2, 2021

HI!!
Welcome!!!
Treat this as you would going out in public.. Use your senses.. Introduce yourself kindly... But only where you feel comfortable doing so.

Here--- at least as far as I am concerned-- feel safe. No judgement, Only advice where applicable.

PM me any time! This site is about feeling appreciated.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jul 2, 2021

Check your area for local groups. TES and MAsT are common throughout the nation. Be an active member of the community by attending munches and meetings.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 2, 2021

Listen to the House-Dude.. He has more experience and offers more well-rounded advice that I can..


And I take No Offense in that. I'm functiouning from a whole different area of BDSM than most.,