Obedience

Sir Don​(dom male){Not lookin} • Jun 30, 2021

In my opinion
Anything that is taught with love and nurturing is a learned behavior and if that person has the desire to be taught. Are you willing to except the consequences for not being obedient.
People being held captive are often beaten into submission and become obedient. I think it becomes survival mode.
Pain can be a motivation but it can crush their desires and make them become a shell of a person.

Obedience

subfourALPHADOM{not yet - } • Jul 4, 2021

Sure it can be taught - look at a seal - but what a bore. Tops want to stamp the life out of potential dates - come on this is a big world trained subs like me are NOT interested in staring into the fire place Ads here need to express life not some closed down has been

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Jul 6, 2021

Obedience

"Can obedience be learned/taught?"

(I believe so. The methodology of that learning can vary. Military people are put through rigorous training, sometimes designed to break them of individual thinking because they may be called upon to follow difficult orders and act without thinking too much about it. People have tried to using breaking in the lifestyle but I personally dislike that. My approach to service is less robot-like and more joyful. (YMMV)

(We also have people in the lifestyle who really enjoy service. They might not be subs or slaves even. They just really like the feeling of usefulness. So they often volunteer at events and strive to meet the needs of the organization. For them, that is what matters. Obedience is part and parcel of their efforts. Logically so.)

"Or is it an innate characteristic that one either has or doesn’t have?"

(I think it's more a continuum. Some are more disposed to it, others need direction. When I am attracted to my Dominant partner, it is very innate in me to want to please him and be obedient. In Grad school where the workload is demanding, I don't always want to do it but push myself. That obedience is from a different motivator. Such as me wanted to do well and not wanting to waste the butt-load of tuition I am paying.)

"Or is the innate characteristic the *desire* to be obedient? And can that be learned/taught?"

(See Above.)

(I was older when I had this unusual experience. While in a vanilla marriage, before finding the lifestyle, there was an older couple, cousins, on my husband's side that I was very close to. I really cared about their impression of me. I found myself taking more time to dress well or look good - for the setting, I wasn't trying to impress them, but rather just really felt what they thought of me mattered. I respected them that much. While I have been close to and respected others many times, this dynamic, if you will, was different. It was "respect your elders" in an unexpected way. )

(Later when in the life and collared the same feelings came up but in a more intense and innate way. Obedience went very deep for that partner who I respected. A big part, however, is the glue of the relationship. I think if you are with someone who isn't on your level or giving you what you give, it can be hard to be an obedient slave or sub. Sometimes that isn't so obvious to the one who is struggling.)

(Achieving that and his approval made for a joyous feeling in me. Thus repeating it became seamless time after time.)

H*

Finished​(switch female) • Jul 7, 2021

Of course it can be taught- see any child past 4 years old.

IndomitableCharm​(dom female) • Jul 7, 2021

Certainly it *can* be taught and learned to some extent - we all start learning as children how to be obedient in some fashion, but at a certain level, I would say that it is a spectrum of sorts. I was raised in a religious area where girls and women were usually expected to be obedient to elders and "the menfolk" (my mother did not hold to that, thankfully, but a grandmother and extended family certainly did). I certainly learned how to do what I was expected to when I was young, though I was not particularly good at it all of the time, depending on how respectful and reasonable I felt the request was. I also learned from my mother that a person's age/gender alone does not make them deserving of receiving any sort of authority/authoritative respect. I learned two (somewhat) warring philosophies, and the one that felt more natural to me took hold. Obedience does not seem to be an innate part of me. I'm not sure whether this is also the case for others, but in my personal experience, the *desire* to be obedient is (mostly) separate from the *ability* to be, dependent on the level of obedience required. With enough genuine desire to learn, obedience can be taught and learned more properly (whatever "properly" might mean to those involved - which ought be established through mutual trust and discussion).