| Freetobme(dom female) |
3 years ago •
Jul 11, 2021
Being Submissive while being a Submissive
Hi,
I am new the lifestyle,-still trying to discover how I fit into it. And I have a question. What’s the chances that someone can HAVE a submissive while BEING submissive for another? Appreciate some thought on this. |
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Online now
| Gentlemancomply |
3 years ago •
Jul 11, 2021
It's possible. You can be a submissive to someone. But be more dominant than someone else who is submissive to you. There are no absolutes. You can have different dynamics with different people.
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MelMell(dom female)
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3 years ago •
Jul 12, 2021
That would be called being a switch. There’s a few switches in here that have their dominant and submissive. So yeah, you can be a submissive and also have a submissive
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House Talion(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Jul 12, 2021
Its usually a case with switches, but also is done with alpha subs.
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Summer B
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3 years ago •
Jul 12, 2021
Yes you can have a submissive, while yourself submitting to another. In fact you can even have a situation where your Dom asks / commands you to Dominate / Top over another submissive. (See also Service Top).
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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3 years ago •
Jul 12, 2021
Another point to remember while switching is that some online sites (munches, functions etc) that are "genre" based, switching while real might not suit the dynamic.
for EG. MaleDom sites that are strictly MaleDom (M/fm) or Femdom sites (F/fm) often will only allow for a set role and will often redirect you to a site such as caged for "mixed" BDSM. |
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Bunnie
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3 years ago •
Jul 12, 2021
It’s often spoken about whether or not something is possible, however, it’s not so commonly spoken about whether or not it is actually successful.
Is it possible? Absolutely. Is it done successfully? This is where I believe it depends a lot on how much work the people involved have done as individuals, and how all parties involved, come together. How much work they’re willing to put in to make it work etc. If it’s simply to try to fill voids, it will end in disaster every time. If it’s approached from a place of mindfulness, I would hold it at a much higher chance of success. |
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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3 years ago •
Jul 13, 2021
Bunnie wrote: If it’s simply to try to fill voids, it will end in disaster every time. If it’s approached from a place of mindfulness, I would hold it at a much higher chance of success. ].
Bunnie has nailed this for **me** and addressed a VERY good point of something that is often forgotten in BDSM and I think it needs repeating ... Doing things to fill voids very rarely works, it is a banaide solution that addresses the need within the persons dynamic but rarely "fixes" the issue with the interpersonal dynamic of the "couple" if there is an imbalance. Can it work? As Bunnie stated yes! with a lot of mindfulness and never ending discussion and negotiation. Edited to fix the quote |
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SubtleHush(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jul 24, 2021
Freetobme(dom female)
Being Submissive while being a Submissive Hi, I am new the lifestyle,-still trying to discover how I fit into it. And I have a question. What’s the chances that someone can HAVE a submissive while BEING submissive for another? Appreciate some thought on this. ............................... I don't see responses from the OP but I will take a shot. The question is why do you want a submissive when you aren't even sure how you fit into all of this. These dynamics tend to be complex. They engrain in much of your life unless you are just playing and exploring that. Dominance and submission are relational terms. As are Master and Slave. So if it is just playing then those who suggest you are a switch may have a point. Switching is about the BDSM and play not so much a relationship or the power exchange dyanmic beyond the scene. At this point, you don't have to be anything. A search on Amazon for BDSM will give you a host of books to look through. Lots relate to the development of the person. Some are technical about activities. I would suggest avoiding the fantasy. It won't help. And as you explore you may find you are drawn to one direction more than others. As Bunny said, I've seen women try it many times, I have not yet seen it work. I think taking on another often comes out of fear of losing total control, or thinking you can learn one side of the slash from the other side. Finding and friending sub or slave women may be a more reasonable way to discover what makes sense to you. Dominant/Topping another comes with great responsibility and if you don't know yourself yet, it is not totally sensible to try and know another. H* |
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| sandrakanda(sub female) |
3 years ago •
Jul 26, 2021
I'm bisexual submissive. I understood it by trying to be straight monogamous leading female. I did it cuz I had to(so I thought), but it wasn't fulfilling, I was stressed and had no idea about BDSM lifestyle.
I'm still attracted to women, but have no desire to be dominated by them, I want dominant men. Could I top another female sub? I would love to. Would I mind to share? No I don't. What about troupe? Sounds great to me. I don't think it's a rare wish, but for most it's just too hard to make it come true. Finding someone to join a couple in a bedroom for some fun isn't that difficult, but to form a serious relationship of this kind requires a lot of work and management. |
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