PrincessWhip(other female)
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
Curious to know
In your writing, have you ever thought along the lines of primary, secondary, tertiary people around you in BDSM? I have many people that I speak to, some I’ve played with, most I haven’t, some just want to support and be friends. I’m starting to think about BDSM and tool development for education, maybe for self reflection, do you know of any that exist?
I think in terms of fluidity within this journey that we’re all on, don’t rank the people around me in gold, silver, bronze, but I do think about people being anchors and nesting partners etc |
|
|
Online now
Kinkyp69(dom male)
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
Love the concept you are offering here! I have noticed here and on other sites things tend to be skewed to be own and to be owned. No shades or degrees of such or a mutual agreement between two parties for fulfillment of each other desires. ( I know it sounds like marriage)
|
|
|
Fudbar(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
PrincessWhip wrote: In your writing, have you ever thought along the lines of primary, secondary, tertiary people around you in BDSM? I have many people that I speak to, some I’ve played with, most I haven’t, some just want to support and be friends. I’m starting to think about BDSM and tool development for education, maybe for self reflection, do you know of any that exist?
I think in terms of fluidity within this journey that we’re all on, don’t rank the people around me in gold, silver, bronze, but I do think about people being anchors and nesting partners etc Yes, that's more or less how I view and approach things. BDSM should always be about education and self reflection, especially when you're not in a relationship. That's the time to learn and reflect so that your next one will be better. As far as primary/secondary or anchor/nesting.. I think that depends on your relationship style. Those are certainly terms I identify with in poly, but that structure may not be the same for everyone. My ideal poly situation is a nesting primary partner, with both of us having satellite partners that we play with casually, but openly and sharing details and social interaction. I'm open to threesomes or other sharing within the polycule, but it's not something that's needed. My only real standard there is that everyone me and my primary partner play with should be able to get together socially and enjoy each other as friends and people. I would be uncomfortable with my partner dating someone that I didn't respect and think made her a better person, and would hope that she would feel the same. In my quest for that ideal, I simply look for interesting, smart people and get to know them more via chat. I do the same when I date vanilla. I actually stopped dating vanilla because I kept meeting awesome folks who weren't compatible romantically but turned out to be awesome new friends. After about the 4th one like that, I realized that I couldn't keep up with any more new friendships. But now, I've got 4 awesome smart women that I can call up for coffee, drinks, dinner and/or hang out with, who all know I'm kinky and poly. It's awesome to have that kind of support when dating, and talking to that many women who are actively dating really opens your eyes as a man about what women put up with on a daily basis in the dating world. Their experiences and advice really helped me move forward in my romantic relationships, and I couldn't have done it without them. TL:DR? Get to know the interesting ones, and take the time to listen and learn from them. Worst case scenario, you learn more about yourself and others, and make some great friends. Best case, a friendship slowly blossoms into something much more intimate and special. |
|
|
|
PrincessWhip(other female)
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
Thanks, I have many around me and the dynamics change a lot, I have a good few anchors but looking for the ultimate nesting partner, this needn’t be someone in real life, it takes time and patience.
Thanks for the feedback. Last edited by * on Mon Jun 25, 2018 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total |
|
|
|
Fudbar(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
PrincessWhip wrote: Thanks, I have many around me and the dynamics change a lot, I have a good few anchors but looking for the ultimate nesting partner, this needn’t be someone in real life, it takes time and patience.
Thanks for the feedback. Glad it was helpful.. just a quick FYI... 'nesting' in poly terms usually means a partner that lives with you 24/7, as in 'shares the nest'. What you're describing would usually be called a 'primary'. No difference in affection, just terms and situations. |
|
|
|
PrincessWhip(other female)
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
Thanks, happy to be corrected anytime, so much to learn!
|
|
|
|
Kinkyp69(dom male)
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
I am understanding it more here. Someone to be safe with and expose your true self too with no fear of rejection. The concept of it being here instead of in RL helps with the concept of the postive ID to be truthful in seeing oneself in such dynamic.
|
|
|
|
PrincessWhip(other female)
|
6 years ago •
Jun 25, 2018
That’s it! kinkyp69, that’s the one I’m looking for!
I’m just recently trying to come to understand all the terms and names for things, it’s hard to explain. |
|
|