Discussing Dominant Women personals

Discussing Dominant Women personals

LittleBB • Jul 31, 2021

Hello!

I have only been checking this website now and then and I usually am not an engaging person but I decided to just try to figure out this doubt I had.

So I've seen alot of personals asking for "chore slaves" , specially on "Dominant Women - Submissive Men" and I have a hard time understand why so common and what does the sub get out of this, I mean, is it a kink to just take care of a house? No offense please I just sometimes feel it's almost like they want someone to manage a household in terms of chores..but not pay for it so they call it bdsm and want a slave. I don't know if I'm being super offensive right now, but well, just asking.

I also feel like women on personals give alot of less...How do I say this, less gentle words, shorter texts. Men usually say they want a sub to also give them pleasure etc but women say more like " you will worship me". Opinions on this?

Anyway that's all , sorry if i was disrespectful, thank you if someone reads this and answers and have a good day/night wherever you are

Secret Mind​(dom male) • Jul 31, 2021

They are called domestic submissives. Submissives who seek out being only a non sexual domestic submissive. Meaning they find joy in doing house chores. Like washing dishes, mopping, vacuuming and so on. Also called domestic discipline. Meaning there's rules and structure along with discipline if the rules are not followed properly. Nothing wrong with this and is quite popular.
Yes, you are correct in your reading as you noticed that some seem to use bdsm as a excuse to take advantage of them as free cleaning slaves.
You're also correct on how most Dominant women use "less gentle words". I can't speak to much on this because.... actually fuck it I'll say it. They can use less gentle words and get away with it because they're women. Not all of them are mean or say stuff like that
but we all know if a male dominant said "you will worship me and call me Master at all times" people would flip and shout red flag, instdom, toxic. When its a dominant woman saying the same stuff, no one ever seems to call them out on it simply because their a woman. Some will even say she's strong and empowering.
But just know there's bad and fake male dominants and female dominants.

CSI • Jul 31, 2021

I think it has a lot to do with the audience as well. Most women are seen as softer and the "gentle" sex, which doesn't work when a woman is in control. She may be kind to those she allows in her inner circle, but one will have to work for it.

I would also say that based on personal experience, many male subs tend to be hella needy and generally want the whole dynamic to be about their penis and their pleasure, rather than what they can do for their domme. So a hard line needs to be drawn. If a woman says "I am a sexual being and want to be pleasured" she will have hundreds (thousands) of submissives throwing themselves at her in her inbox. Dynamics are not solely about sex, so she needs more.

My opinion is males regardless of the side of the slash tend to go after females. It is what it is. And true female dommes are awfully hard to come by, have probably been through the wringer with hundreds of messages/pictures describing how the submissives want her to be their personal kink fulfiller and fetish dispenser.

Tl;dr Dommes keep it short and to the point because they want the submissives to actually read and understand and they are tired of BS.

CSI • Jul 31, 2021

By having men perform what is traditionally considered "women's work", it signifies that the woman is absolutely the one in control and enforces the power exchange dynamic.

MrFulmen • Jul 31, 2021

Bingo.

Differences in F/m and M/f kinky personal ads mirror differences in mainstream gender roles. A woman doing domestic work for a man isn't kinky; it's traditional marriage. A man brusquely ordering a woman to do what he says is just common--women who want pushy demands from strange men usually don't have to come to a kink site to find that.

The reassurances about safety and caring for her pleasure that you see on m-for-f ads have to be there because women can't assume those things in dates with men. If you're a cis man, do you worry about whether you'll be safe on a first date with a woman? Do you worry whether you'll get off when you have sex? I don't. We get those things by default.

Cis men's lack of fear or caution around sex and relationships is what makes us ideal targets for scammers. Women get trained to look for danger around sex. Trans and gender nonconforming folks tend to learn the hard way that they face risks. It's only cis men who look at an ad that says "Goddess seeks slave. Instant obedience required!" and think "What could possibly go wrong?" So a goodly number of those peremptory F/m ads you're seeing are trolling for the kind of man who'll hand over his bank account information as worship to an Internet ghost he's never met.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 31, 2021

What is all this about women in "control"?

When I lie on my back and spread my legs.. The one in control is the guy I am spreading my legs for... And I like it that way

I_am_the_Sea​(sub male){One Day} • Jul 31, 2021

Let me tell you, I'm a big strong man, but some women DO take advantage. It's not just a one way street people.

I agreed to go golfing for a first date with a domme. I guess she was into public humiliation because that is the very definition of me with a golf club...lol I don't care, I love the game but if you want to have a smooth game, yea...maybe a better partner you should seek...

So I get there and warm up a little when she approaches. I smile and wave and she just stops about 4 feet of me and then proceeds to look me up and down assessing me with this really really WEIRD grin on her face. Made me VERY uncomfortable...but hey, we are here now so maybe she's just nervous as well...

We get to the second hole and her phone goes off, She takes the call and I can hear her say "Yea, I got this one in the bag". OK whatever...could be talking about a million things. Ignore it and move on.

On the third hole she pokes me REALLY hard in my ass with her driver. Giggling... I stand up nice and straight and tell her Do NOT do that again! Her reply was OK, we'll see...

RESCUE!! I set up a rescue call in case the date wasn't working out so I could bail. My buddy calls me on the middle of the fourth hole. OH MAN! RESCUE!!! I bow out and tell her my friend got in an accident and needs a lift to the garage. OH MY GOODNESS!!! You should have seen her face. She was SO SO ANGRY. Much more than was appropriate for the situation at hand. She called me a fag, a looser and said if she ever saw me again she's cut off my balls.

Oh dear... I guess I dodged a bullet there... Man, was I grateful to get out of there.

Another time, a domme I was seeing wasn't working out, and before either of us got too involved with the other I ended it and wished her the best of luck. That night she called and texted every 2 minutes to harass me saying men were coming over to beat me up and make me "Pay" for what I did to her. (please keep in mind I ended this before any sexual activity had taken place) and then the final text at 2:30 in the morning was "I KNOW WHERE YOUR CHILD GOES TO SCHOOL!!"

I LOST IT! I called the police and filed a report. The police called back about an hour later wanting to know more information. I explained it all and then they said "Well...did ya sleep with her?" Like it was my fault! I told them "Sir. I never put myself in a position where I could take advantage of the situation, and not that it matters, but no, I didn't sleep with her" The policeman just gave out this really heavy sigh and said "Alllll right...We'll look into it"

I guess they did because I never heard from her again. But let me tell you, Women can be just as dangerous and cross the line just as efficiently and wantonly as any male. I have witnessed it multiple times.

Now, here is one thing I have noticed. Dommes (Here and everywhere) have MASSIVE walls up all the time. They give very very little and expect a lot for their attention. And while I understand the reasoning behind the walls, if you don't lower them just a little, you are going to drive away some good people along with all the trash. I usually try to begin conversation and very often get 1 sentence for 3 or 4 paragraphs of (what I feel anyways) insightful dialogue. And maybe after getting rebuffed like this 2 or maybe 3 times with the same results, it's time for me to go. And the Domme gets rewarded with her internal monologue saying "See? He wasn't a real sub..."

But with all that said, I've seen some awesome profiles on here detailing exactly who the Person is and what\who they are looking for. I hope they get the success they deserve. But I have seen a great majority that seem to scream I've got no idea what I am doing and someone told me I could find a sucker on here to wash my sox. Those are the ones you have to ignore and freeze out. They will go away and leave the ones who know how to safely share themselves looking for a new partner.

Anyways, just my 2 cents. Thanks
~I_am_the_Sea

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Jul 31, 2021

For those who obviously missed the basics of BDSM.
BDSM is always about kink.
Servings in a nonsexual way is very common and also helps to include the asexual people in the lifestyle.

LittleBB • Aug 1, 2021

Thank you all for answers!

As being one way of women protecting themselves and because yes, men in general if it was just sex all of them would want but I don't know, maybe it is the question of being more gentle when they are already building a connection with a person but on personals they prefer to be a bit more cold. Hope is that because some personals leave me nervous and I'm not even a male sub.. or maybe that's the fun part! Hehe

I do understand serving in a nonsexual way and the importance to include asexual people , but I don't know, I think there should be always a demonstration care. That doesn't envolve sexual stuff. But some just refer "I want someone to do these services for me". There's no mentioning of building a relationship (some even mention they do not want it at all, just a slave) and I fail a bit to understand the connection to bdsm and the appeal for the sub. I think people should always be valued, no matter the role.

I think we can put up walls but also say that if the person meets our trust , we will you know, retribute some kind of care and friendship. But as it was also mentioned, people (cis men) view it as default so I guess I am seeing things as by my perspective so I do understand more about my doubts so thank you all!

Take care everyone

Kitzer​(sub female) • Aug 1, 2021

There's always going to be people looking to take advantage. Male or female, it doesn't matter. Bot

The important thing is to find yourself in a situation you like. If you know you're not wanting to do chores then don't.