Submissive and Slave

Taramafor​(sub male) • Jun 28, 2018

Actually I argue that everyone is different and so therefor no one is ever actually "equal". That said some things affect everyone, yet depending on experience and knowledge in different ways. Looking after happiness instead of letting there be sadness and the like. What is "respectful" for one might not be the same to another either.


Ahh, it can be both though. The whole idea of a punishment is that, in some ways, you DON'T love what the punishment is. Even if a part of you does. Contradicts yet that's how it works. This does not however have to "cause a rift". And in some regards it is done from the heart. That does not however mean a punishment that is done out of frustration or anger can't also be caring and affectionate. I think the mistake many make is assuming their "pre assigned punishments" (and rewards) will be expected to work on a sub that's not even met yet. That ties in with your earlier comment of doms seeking doormats.


No, but abuse can happen because people are human and can struggle and yell how much they hate your guts or state they want to kill you which... can ironically lead to better times if you don't hold a grudge and be understanding or something (no joke, it's lead to love at times). While they are different things they can also tie in. Unintended breaking for example (and in this example very BDSM related). Different then my angry ex, yet... similar. What's more there's also "venting into another", of which people can assume is abuse. Wherever it is or isn't can be up for debate. "Accept the worst as well as the best". At the end of the day one IS being an outlet for emotions like anger and fear, which can happen quickly after meeting each other if you hit it off. BUT in POSITIVE ways. Or at least controlled. Not negative ones that get out of hand. That said, with people being human and making mistakes negative ways can happen as well, especially before others are used to "doing it positively". Of which is something to be wary of, BDSM or no. Know abuse and how to handle it with no one suffering and you know control. Of which BDSM is a good part of.

I'm actually going to expand on the "abuse" topic somewhat. I talked to someone about using me as an outlet more. But they said they'd feel mean or something if they did that. So we debated about positive ways and whatnot. My winning argument (other then pointing out when we became closer through "sparring") was asking them why they put up with my "negative shit". To quote "Because I care". If shit is going to happen anyway and you're going to be there may as well make it positive and have it lead to fun times, right? In some ways I even look forward to a bit of "sparring" now. Unless it is something that has been experienced, others would likely consider it abuse. At the end of the day everyone needs outlets for both positive and negative emotions alike. I for one accept the worst of others as well as the best. That's the dedication I put into lifestyle. Likewise others need to be aware I have my "volatile moments" at times. Anyone that says "Don't be with others" because of that expects you to be in full control of yourself 24/7 as if mistakes never ever happen. Yea, no, that's not how life works. Prepared I am, a genie I am not.

Basically don't think you have to be perfect before considering BDSM. Or even lifestyle. You're you. Others will accept it if you let them. Just make sure they accept you too. I make sure that happens. You can make sure it happens too. Is it to be a master to make sure you're never pushed away or a slave to be there no matter how difficult another is? Could be both in some ways.