Master / slave

Master / slave

MrPimpMaster​(dom male) • Jul 16, 2021

However, since BDSM is consensual, masters/owners must work to keep their property happy. It is not enough to train a slave according to his or her wont; the slave/property’s needs and desires must be taken into account.

1. The ideal master is one who is interested in learning the psychology of his property. He (we’ll use ‘he’ because of the dynamics of this site) wants to understand how his property thinks; not just about how that person thinks about slavery and submission, but about pretty much anything that they share. This is important if the master wants to have full control over his property, since if the slave’s thought process is in any way a mystery, those thoughts cannot be under his control. Sometimes a slave might not intentionally hide information from the dominant but still be unable to articulate something that seems obvious or trivial. Understanding the slave fully, through observation, interrogation, and prior knowledge will makes the slave’s motives in all things crystal clear.

2. The ideal master is well-read in a variety of subjects and has a questing curious mind. How else can he teach his slave new things or raise the bar of expectations if he himself cannot lead by example? This will also keep boredom setting in for the slave over the long term, as they learn new things together.

3. The ideal master has a sense of humor. He should be able to see the absurdity in many situations, including the master/slave relationship itself. It is no longer possible to legally own people in the US, and antebellum slavery was a horrible thing that destroyed families and souls. Without a sense of humor, it is easy for a master to become convinced that his ownership is both real and immutable, which can lead to emotional and even physical abuse.

4. The ideal master is capable of flexibility. He understands that in order for a relationship to grow and stay fresh, the dynamics may change over time. This was true for real-life slaveowners who were sexually intimate with their slaves, and it is true of modern people who believe they have spiritual ownership over another. Without flexibility, the slave may become emotionally crippled, and the master may end up alone.

5. The ideal master plans for the future. Life contains many trials, including sickness, divorce and death. If a master is in a poly relationship with a married slave, he must plan for if that slave gets a divorce. If he is married to his slave and she has been kept at home, he should plan for an equitable separation of assets in case of a divorce, and for his property to be capable of holding down a job on her own. Since slaves and masters can become ill, an ideal master should plan for contingencies such as health care; and again, a master should always assume that at some point the slave will have to become the primary breadwinner in the household. Keeping a slave ignorant of finances, rendering her incapable of thinking for herself, or lowering her self-esteem to the point where she is incapable of holding a job is cruel, selfish, and short sighted. Likewise, owners can die suddenly. There should be contingency plans in place so that the slave can start a new life while grieving, without having to find a new master to pick up the slack.

6. The ideal master is capable of love. It is not wrong to love a slave, but it might change the dynamics of the relationship. He might decide to stop sharing her, or to break off sexual relations with other slaves. If she is to become his primary or sole sex partner, he should consider things like birth control, and what they should do if his property becomes pregnant. Such a master would need to be more cognizant of his slave’s new feelings and thoughts regarding love, jealousy, and faithfulness. He should not see love as a weakness, but simply another way of being.

7. The ideal master can admit that he is wrong. He is also willing to listen carefully to a slave’s suggestions and advice, even though he is the one who will make the final decision. On important matters, he must carefully way what is best for everyone involved, since he is responsible for more than one human life. In reality, a master is more like a king of a very small kingdom, than a real life owner of human flesh. Real slave owners do not have to be concerned with the well-being of slaves, since the slaves are bound by law and custom to never leave. Real masters can rape and even kill their slaves, put them in danger, deny them a living or even food and damage their property if it suits them, but a sexual master cannot and should not ever do so.

8. The ideal master can anticipate the needs and desires of his slave, even though he may choose whether or not to give into her desires on a regular basis. He should also not interfere with anything that will cause her to lose her job, her standing in the community, her children, or her family and friends, even if they disapprove of BDSM. This goes back to no. 5. It is emotionally unhealthy for a slave to become so dependent on her master that she loses all outside positive contact. A master who is so selfish that he would humiliate or denigrate his slave in such a fashion that it would cause undue friction between herself and her external support system is not a true master, but a coward with no self-control or self-respect. He is little more than a narcissist or a sociopath.

9. The ideal master does not see his slave as inferior to himself. He is not looking for a doormat, an abuse victim, or helpless co-dependent. Because he sees her as worthy of his attention, affection, and possibly even his love, her can take advice from her on matters where she is knowledgeable, sound her out on matters of importance, and trust that she can take care of them both if it is necessary. The ideal master is a princeps, a primus inter pares, a first among equals. A superior man is only interested in sharing his life with a superior woman who is not weak-willed and who presents a challenge. It is not worth breaking someone down if that person is not worthy of being built back up. Her strength is his strength, since it is the gift that she offers to him, along with her body.

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 22, 2021

Nothing new or Earth-shaking on the boards today so I reached a few pages back to see if there was anything I could contribute to without necessarily "necro posting". This is only a month or so old so that's not too bad.

Also of note, the O P is no longer on the site, but I'll address what he wrote.

* * * * *

Anyway those are nice points he made for dominants. But personally I'd dispense with the word "property" .

While many a D/s dynamic is OK with that word and the concept behind it, it's still a word with stained connotations and is best used between the couple in a given dynamic privately.



* * * * *

Now I have to confess I just skimmed the points because to be totally honest, the post is too long as a discussion-starter.


But on the whole, again those are very useful points for a dominant but of course each works their dynamic a bit differently. I'm surprised it didn't generate more discussion even though this dude done gone to Cage heaven.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Aug 22, 2021

The author of this forum topic has deleted his account or it was deactivated for him. I just clicked on his profile and it does not exist.

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 22, 2021

I knew that and I indicated such in the second "paragraph" of my reply,

I looked up the profile, too. I always do when taking interest in less-than-recent threads. Freaks come freaks go, but the song remains the same.

******

But since this forum is more than a little slow of late, I thought it might be a point people can ponder... Or not.

Whatever chokes the proverbial chicken.

DrWakko • Aug 22, 2021

If you are curious about the Master/slave dynamic I suggest going out and finding books by Dr Bob. https://www.amazon.com/Robert-J.-Rubel/e/B001KE4VRS%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 22, 2021

Thanks Dr. Whack Job. Not curious about it myself but there may be others, that's why I dug this thread out of the 1 month dustbin. it's an important topic for those inclined to get into the nuts and bolts of being twisted.

(hahaha I don't put too fine a point on many things as you can probably tell.)

Taramafor​(sub male) • Aug 28, 2021

May as well post since the thread is here.



Do you consent to answers that are given when they're blind? I don't. I intentionally do what people don't want me to do. You heard me.

Those people also end up loving me for it. Saying BDSM is consensual is false. There must be times we must go against consent in the interest of safety or/and fun. And provided at least one person involved is observant and aware with both eyes open and can imform their partner then this can go well.

When both are blind, and one can not inform the other, that is where people get hurt in the bad ways.

Much of BDSM is about "flow" and "adapting". If you consent to every little thing then you're having five hour talks all day, every day. Which might have to happen for a week before anything is done while you form SOME agreements (I stress SOME). It's important to have an "idea". But there also must be action being taken and feedback. It's less about agreements and more about finding out if things are as one might assume they were or not.

Like any other relaitonship dynamic it's about keeping on top of that communication. Feedback might be something a lot of people overlook. How can you improve on what happened? Even if something sucked a day ago you could end up having the time of your life tomorrow. It's all about the improving.

It's also about what each other wants. But in order to establish that it must first be established that you don't know enough to know one way or the other. Your "not interested" is something I don't consent too if I suspect you don't know enough to make a clear and well informed choice. Turns out the other person enjoyed events more then they thought they would.

Orders and instructions are one thing. "I want to have my way and EXPECT you to agree" is another. I do not consent to your forced consent in other words. I will however do whatever you want me to do if you have me in mind. Otherwise what is my reason to do anything you want me to do? And it just so happens that when someone finds out enough about me it's been more about their way then they priviously assumed. It just might seem otherwise beforehand when they have yet to ask.

You also don't need someones life story. I know the Psychology behind it all myself. All I need to know is if someone is projecting their past Experiences onto me. eg: Do they worry and are they afraid of certain events or otherwise assume how interactions will go when we have never even done anything yet. To me it's clear enough when someone does that. But "past projections" are not how I do things. I am not most others. I do things very differently. I have a brain and know how to use it. I know how to play along with others when they're not worrying about what we've never done yet. It doesn't matter what your past is. Rather it matters to the point that it's casued you to be afraid or assume. How will WE do things? What of OUR interactions? How can WE make it about each other 100% both ways instead of half assing it? And that might seem like more work, but it's honestly less. Half ass things and you set yourself up for complications down the line. Besides, if I'm 100% making it about them and they're holding back with me then they end up feeling bad for it. So even when someone wants to hold back they have to admit that 100% both ways is the only fair way in the end. Which I find pleasantly unexpected. It wasn't even me saying that. It was them.

A lot of subs might be that giving. And I've noticed that some people can have concerns of "What's mutual". When people worry about that I think it means that they are the ones holding back. If you have a concern then it's for a reason. Some past event triggered it. Why have a concern about mutual when someone wants to please you? That seems to indicate something about ones own insecurities.

The list goes on. Pick any concern. But if I have concerns then it's most likely because you have concerns. And if you try to blame it all on me, maybe look into a mirror and refelct on yourself.