Are there aggressive/dominant subs?

Submmisive Boi​(sub male){Punish Me} • Sep 4, 2021

I don't know how to respond to individual post (is there even a way, I don't know
also on mobile so don't know if that changes anything :/) but I wanted to say thank you for the new perspectives you have all provided.
To Bunnie I especially want to say thank you I never thought of it being a bratty thing (definitely have that side to me) and for introducing me to primal, I'd never heard of it so thank you for helping me find a new side to me.

Bunnie • Sep 4, 2021

You’re welcome I’m glad I could help.

BikerDan​(other male) • Sep 5, 2021

Definitely. I occasionally switch for the right attitude and become more aggressive a sub as I am a top.
I end up giving the top verbal abuse while grabbing hold and ramming myself onto their dick then refusing to let them pull out. I expect a top to have several orgasms while fucking - not just one.
Ive always been intense and had trouble finding sex partners who could handle my needs.

Re: Are there aggressive/dominant subs?

Taramafor​(sub male) • Sep 5, 2021

Actually it depends on HOW you analyze. Make sure you get those straight answers in other words. And if somoene isn't asking enough, pester them to death until they do learn to ask. It's the only way to cross-reference with each other and get the full story.

Without going into too much detail, hypocrites are liars and liars are cowards. In other words if you want to flee/avoid a situation then you're probably lying to yourself about something. eg: assumptions.

We also have to consider that people can be selfish and hold back with your wants/needs because of whatever concerns they have. I actually get misunderstood a lot about this because it confuses people about why I'd be 100% invested at the start when they hold back with me at first. If this situation isn't analyzed then misunderstadnings continue. Which would just make things worse. NOT analyzing is a mistake here. One sided situations that are unfair are unhealthy. Yet the reason for why it's unfair might surprise the other person (eg: I make it about them even if they don't with me). This is a situation where I would say "Worry with reason". What complicates this for me is that I'm never one to give up on anyone once I'm invested. It can be a lot of pressure for the other person if they don't understand why yet. But once they do understand things are fine. You have to KNOW each other to ACCEPT each other. You have to know each other to love each other. It's that simple. Except also not when people don't get it yet. I only really know one person that's super giving, super kind and never stalls with me at all with very few concerns. But that's "near perfect". Not most people. Love gives, it doesn't take. If you really do love yourself you'll be a giving person. Or does ignorance and rejection sound better then acceptence?

Boy I wish things could be simple. Reality check. People don't LET you do that. Some people really don't let you do that. And why? Because they WANT things to be simple when in reality they DISMISS your concerns. They're DESPERATE for simple. Which means you get sidelined. What exactly are you saying is simple/obvious when you never asked?

Once someone says "I don't know" (and I get them to confess that quickly) things get a lot easier. NOW we can make things simple. Now that you're no longer assuming. Or at least show you ask enough to deal with corrections.

Natually this means I basically have to be a bit aggresive when people are stubborn. It can be stressful having those talks. Hell, it's even downright painful at times. What's the TRUTH of the matter? How can we find out? Bingo. Suddenly either they can handle the truth and the pursuit of it or they can't. It's a pretty effective tactic.

Another effective tactic if a dom type person is being aggresive at you is to simply ask "Who does that remind you of?" If they start painting you out as the bad guy. I can say that this defused a tense situation right away and lead to an agreement being formed ASAP (seriously, have those arguments. It's getting the hard times dealt with sooner). The reason for this is because I pointed out that they were doing what they were complaining about. BUT I didn't have to have long talks about it. I simply did it with one simple question. That's all it took. Just one question. They never admitted it, but the fact that they jumped straight to agreements is all I needed. I don't need thanks or validation. I see what they're doing. And I'm happy about it.

So as painful as it can be at times, it's also rewarding enough to be worth it. Once I hit the "things get worked out phase" (be it quickly or later), that's it. The pain is controlled and it gets turned into pleasure. Thing is you can only do it together. The question is which one was being Darth Vader and which one was being Luke Skywalker? Hell, what if Dath Vader is actually Luke Skywalker under that armor when you judge a book by its cover?

Yada yada. Things not always as they appear to be. Etc etc. You get the idea.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Sep 5, 2021

There's a quote button at the bottom of the person post. Click that.

You can also do the code line itself to quote something you copy. [/quote] is at the end of what you want to quote. [quote] is at the start. If I had done that in the correct order it would actually show you a quote box. Adding ="name" after the the first quote also mentions the person you are quoting.

Yea, code is funky. If that didn't make sense just click the quote button.

Re: Are there aggressive/dominant subs?

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 6, 2021

I didn't truncate your post so I can take up a page, too!

But respectfully, I politely disagree with the analysis part. Some things just are, and analyzing something to death might cause one to start talking to his or her toaster.

( Remember, cut that word in half and you get "anal" )

Analysis paralisis some say.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Sep 7, 2021

Respectfully, opinions aren't facts. Facts are facts. This is not a toaster we're talking about. Nor is it anal. What does that have to do with anything I discussed? You're only proving you don't consider things properly if all you do is change the topic. You might not be aware you're doing it. But it is what you're doing.

I believe it's Mika that suffers from not knowing how to handle a situation and freezing up. That's what paralyse is.

There's always a reason. Though you may not YET be aware of the reason. Some things only make sense in hindsight (you could find the answers loooong after. Or after action is taken). Do you think you're the only one that's suffers from paralyse?

People do what they do for a reason. Even if they don't think about it. It's basic action, reaction and result. No one acts without self interest. What makes you think there's a thing that "just is" when you don't say why? You just go "I say I'm right but I don't give a reason for it". I refuse to accept that as a logical counter argument. What's your reasoning/logic for that statement here? Maybe you have an example?

I'll give you an idea of where I'm coming from. Situation X happens (Person X is the initiator). Resulting in Y response (Person Y is the responder). With Z result. It's common for this to get mucked up and for things to be unclear. It can SEEM like there's nothing there. Or worse yet it can seem like one thing when in reality it's another (the reverse even). Which can lead to really large misunderstandings.

Here's the thing though. If any situation happens, for any reasons, IT'S THERE. Let's make that very clear right now. The question is if the situation exists because of rational concerns or irrational ones. Keep in mind that even "just worrying" is still a reason. It's not a healthy one. But no one has concerns for no reason. This comes back to assumptions (or not being considered at all. Sometimes that's reason enough).

So in those times you think things "just are" what if you simply don't know what to do and simply don't have any answers? That does happen. When this happens people do freeze up. Me included if I'm at a loss. But later, after looking back on things, I realize I simply didn't know what to do. And can then do better in the same situation after learning from it.

The situation has to be accepted for what it is of course. But I think it's important to ask ourselves "What if there's more then what we see". Do you consider that? Or do you just dismiss it without a second thought? Genially asking.