Where to find *real* subs

krazyorganizedchaos​(sub female) • Sep 14, 2021

Ok so that makes a lot more sense.... there are many fake Doms out there as well. Just for some context, many of these "Doms" will try to tell a sub they aren't "real" for not following instruction right or off the gate, or for having certain limits. So the way you initially worded it, that's how it came across.
BTW, I know my profile sucks lol 😆 I just tried to give pointers from a sub perspective.

In regards to meeting in real life, yeah it's a crap shoot and hard to do. Online sucks anymore. My only advice, get to know people, take it slow, and vet them thoroughly. Ensure you both are stating what you are looking for, what your limits are, and any preferences you have. Honesty is key to building that trust.

Bunnie • Sep 14, 2021

Lol it seems you’ve stirred the hornets nest. Nothing gets you smacked down faster here than suggesting the subs are less than perfect lol. Egos be fragile… tread carefully 😁

Real and fake are interesting words I have seen thrown around a lot since first stepping into the online world, which to be honest wasn’t that long ago. It’s a strange concept to me. All people are real. I see it as more around whether people feel safe to be authentic or not. Most don't… for whatever reasons. Interestingly there seem to be many who police this… calling out those they consider fake because they don’t match what they as an individual consider to be authentic. I don’t consider many people to be authentic… but I’m not going to call them fake… I call them lost… and it saddens me for them, because I know that feeling well. The more work we do on ourselves, the more we open doorways, not only to ourselves, but to others. People are drawn to someone who knows themselves. People are drawn to authenticity. We like how it makes us feel to be around someone who we know isn’t seeking to gain anything from us, but who will simply enjoy our company as we enjoy theirs.

So how do you find real subs? Work on you. You’ll find that you’ll reach a place where you don’t have to search so strenuously, because you’ll be surrounded by people who simply appreciate who you are.

Bunnie • Sep 14, 2021

I guess what I’m saying rather atrociously lol, is, rather than asking ‘how do I *find* (the type of submissive I want)?’… perhaps another way of looking at it is, ‘how do I *attract/appeal to* (the type of submissive I want)?’

KisforKitten​(sub female) • Sep 14, 2021

Honesty and humility go a long way, no one starts off knowing everything.

I'm sure you're not a fake dom and that you're just trying to learn, grow and find your way through this crazy maze of do's and don'ts but unfortunately some new doms who want to look more experienced can sometimes try to fake it till they make it which can end up putting them and others in danger due to lack of experience.

And as many people have said here, all subs are real regardless of whether they want a long term dynamic, something short term or even just a play session they're still a sub. We come in all shapes, sizes

You'll find your way, just take it slow and use this experience to learn and grow 🙂