SubtleHush(sub female)
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3 years ago •
May 1, 2021
Cressida Clytie​(masochist female)
"Since BDSM is about trust and honesty. Why can't someone just be honest about their feelings even if it's brutal. At least there's closure." ................ Not everyone is here for this lifestyle in any of its' forms. For some this is a local cheap ticket buffet and they pig out and move on. They care no more about hurting people than they care about that french fry that fell on the floor at dinner. Harsh of me? Yes. True? Yes. We have to slow down on believing everything we're told by strangers online. But sometimes that takes a few hits before the person learns to trust their instincts and say no confidently when it is too quick, easy or feels unrealistic. I've been in a lot of s type support discussions where the approach wasn't even what they wanted. He is 3 hours away and you are looking for local? "Yes but he said he'd drive here." He admits to be a work-a-holic and you want someone around often? "Yes but he said he'd work on that." The problem with the truth is, if you won't tell yourself the truth, you're already set up for the lie and those who live to ghost, have the lies down pat. |
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Online now
Daddy'sMine(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Sep 24, 2021
River
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Aquagirl(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Sep 25, 2021
Once I accepted it was over and no longer felt disappointed I could look back and enjoy the experience.
But I still would of liked a better closure. It does not feel good to get ghosted. |
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I_am_the_Sea(sub male){One Day}
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3 years ago •
Sep 25, 2021
Oh my god. You have no idea how often I wish I had been ghosted. Crying ladies and running mascara is something just terrible to behold...
But still think I could never ghost no matter how easy it could be ~I_am_the_Sea |
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TXDomPolyhouse(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Sep 25, 2021
I know is hard when we do it online, but you still can have some hints.
Pay attention to what they do, not what they say. Anybody can say the right thing, but the can't back it up with their actions. Ghostters are fake insecure and Cowards. They can't say things up front. But they want the quick benefits. We just need to learn to see them better. |
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A Cloud(sub female){Owned}
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3 years ago •
Sep 26, 2021
Some great discussion here. There has been mention of self-awareness and acknowledging feelings of hurt and anger. I would agree that here lies the key.
For me, D/s is about feeling deeply, feeling the full spectrum of emotions. This means we cannot choose only the 'feel-good' feelings; we must acknowledge and accept all with the knowledge that they are beautifully human. Being vulnerable is about knowing potential risks, being uncertain of outcomes and giving without expecting to receive but putting yourself out there anyway. That being said, one still needs to be aware and cautious with how, when and with who. Contemplate, risk-assess, beware of coercion and make sure it is for your own benefit (growth, strength and emotional awareness). Hurt, sadness, longing, uncertainty - these are painful experiences. But they are crucial in the emotional spectrum. And if you feel these deeply, it is likely that the ecstacy, love and joy in your soul is boundless. One thing that is socially conditioned, rather than innate, is shame. And this is probably the one that most prominently causes hurt from ghosting. Don't feel ashamed of falling deeply for someone and giving so much of yourself - that vulnerability is your strength! Be proud of your sensitive, giving, emotional self; be proud of your submission or dominance; validate yourself through your own actions. Just be beautifully human! |
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