Alyssa03(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Jul 20, 2018
How can you tell...
Being inexperienced in this lifestyle can you please tell me some red flags I can look for when searching for the Dom that is meant for me? I came across a few yesterday that didn't feel right to me. But with that being said, I am new and need guidance. Any seasoned subs out there willing to send advice my way?? Thank you!!!
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Online now
dollMaker(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Jul 20, 2018
Few seconds with google https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=red+flags+re+doms&oq=red+flags+re+doms+&aqs=chrome..69i57.4812j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
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Alyssa03(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Jul 20, 2018
Yes thank you. I've used Google as well. Hoping to hear from subs here that have personal experience advice.
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FlipSide1481(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Jul 20, 2018
http://www.evilmonk.org/A/begintip.cfm
Above is general safety info around BDSM play and a really good all round website. Below is from that site: Warning Signs Is the other person domineering and bullying? Does the other person seem to be hiding something? Does he avoid answering reasonable questions? Is he inconsistent in what he writes and says? Does he contradict himself? Is he presumptuous about the relationship? Does he expect complete submission from a stranger? Is he ready to collar you and move into your home on your first meeting? Does he seem more interested in sex than you are? Does it seem like he wants cyber sex from the beginning when you're looking for something else? Does he respect your concern about safety or does he belittle your precautions and try to coerce you? Does he try to isolate you from friends, family, and other people in the scene? Does he have nothing nice to say about past partners? Does he understand that cyber is more fantasy than R/T? Does he seem a perfect match? Maybe too perfect? Robinson presented himself as a divorced millionaire Master in need of a woman to care for his invalid father. He was still married to his wife of 38 years, his father was dead, and his financial empire -- like the exclusive "International Council of Masters" -- was all smoke and mirrors. And most of all trust your gut... Read the forums on this site as well, there is a wealth other subs expereinces. |
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alawey(sub female){(OWNED BY }
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5 years ago •
Jul 20, 2018
I started a four post about res flags a while back and try to do my blog on them . feel free to look there
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alawey(sub female){(OWNED BY }
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5 years ago •
Jul 20, 2018
* forums
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Kara(sub female){Dark Roast}
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5 years ago •
Jul 20, 2018
My biggest red flags are saying that the relationship is all about his needs or telling you that you are "just a sub". If he dodges your questions, changes the subject, or refuses to answer, also a red flag. A man who has nothing to hide has nothing to fear.
If he makes you feel like you have no right to ask about his life, then run. |
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Greeneyedreamer(sub female){Yes I am }
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5 years ago •
Jul 21, 2018
Check my blog on here. there is a lot of good information.
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Bunnie
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5 years ago •
Jul 21, 2018
There are general red flags which you can find info about, as dM and Flip showed. For myself personally... I don’t solely go by what others consider to be red flags. I also go by “if it doesn’t feel right to me, then it’s not.” No justification needed. If I feel unsafe or unsure, I always try to listen to that and not question it, because sometimes it’s not necessarily only about safety... it can also be about what fits you. An example I always use is with rope and rigging... a sensual rigger creates a very intimate experience with their style of tying... it’s important to know beforehand if you’d be comfortable with that or not. If not, it doesn’t mean that either of you are wrong... just not compatible. You can either choose to not tie together, or you can negotiate very specifically to make it safe and comfortable for you both. It’s the same when it comes to choosing who you pursue a relationship with. Does your “style” and “beliefs” around the lifestyle match? Red flags are very important for safety. I also think compatibility is too... to help maybe avoid a lot of confusion and potentially bad experiences for everyone involved.
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FunCouple{.-Couple-.}
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5 years ago •
Jul 21, 2018
Hello Alyssa.
A good rule of thumb is, if it doesn’t feel right, if you dont feel comfortable, then walk away. Remember too, you may consider yourself a sub, but until you give yourself over to Him (or Her) you are the one in control. I hope you don’t have to experience too many frogs before you find your Prince. |
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