How Important is Connection to you?

How Important is Connection to you?

dananddawn • Nov 3, 2021

For me, if I'm wanting a good scene, the connection has to be there. Whether with a long-time partner or someone that's new to me, I need to have a connection with the other person. Luckily, I know tips and tricks on creating that connection if it's not instant. Whether it's breathing together before the scene, or eye gazing, or just skin stroking, there is a way to connect. It's that energy zing that makes me tingly and makes a scene oh so yummy.

Is connection important to you? Why or why not? What do you do if that connection just isn't there but you want it to be? Or what if the connection is there and you don't want it to be? I know that happens as well.

~dawn

Morgein • Nov 3, 2021

Essential! If we can't connect, I can't play. Well, maybe I could, but I never have. I think..... There's so much openness and vulnerability that comes with submitting. I don't know how I could overcome my initial reticence without the Dom's guidance and encouragement, and I won't trust in his leadership if we haven't established some kind of connection first.

As for how to establish it, I need talk. Put my head in the right place and it's ready, set, go. Addressing the connection being there even when I don't want it to be...... Yeah, I'll let you know when I've figured out how to fix that kind of stupidity.

Richlydefined​(sub female){Gardener} • Nov 4, 2021

For me, its the most important. Without a connection I'm not playing. I can't trust without a connection, thats just how it is.

Miki • Nov 4, 2021

Connection and "chemistry" seem closely related. if there isn't a "spark" a connection can be hard to form.

While connections can be made via common interests or even goals, without that certain "zing" a pair might make good friends but that's about it.

Pushing too hard to make a connection where there is no chemistry-- or "click" if you prefer-- can wreck even a casual friendship.

Cressida Clytie​(masochist female){Taken} • Nov 4, 2021

Connection is quite important to me. No... it's actually everything..

It's should not be forced. It should be genuine.
There are good and bad connections but I welcome and embrace both.
Why? because it's an energy that is compatible with mine, even if it's very intoxicating.

Noire{Owned (NH)} • Nov 4, 2021

Love this topic!

For me it has to be more than a connection.

Like Miki stated,
“ While connections can be made via common interests or even goals, without that certain "zing" a pair might make good friends but that's about it.

I need my soul to intertwine with another. I need an unwavering spiritual bond. If I don’t feel that within the person I’m vetting. There’s no part of me that would physically want to be intimate with them. Blame the demisexual in me. But if nothings tingling my soul, it’s not moving!

JustGreenie{Lona Alofa} • Nov 4, 2021

Connection and having that chemistry is the upmost important when having a partner in the lifestyle. Now I have had play partners where we have connected on a non romantic platform and things went well, but that is for short term.

If I were speaking for long term and in a full on dynamic, it is very important. I am entrusting this person with my whole being as they are with me. It is a waste of our time if we cannot connect in other ways outside of a scene or sex.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Nov 4, 2021

Without connection, its just practice.

MelMell​(dom female) • Nov 4, 2021

A connection is everything for me. If I can’t feel any true connection or zing I’m just not interested. I have previously been in relationships where there wasn’t much of a connection and they ended really bad after a while. I don’t make those same mistakes anymore so unless I connect with that person on some level, I don’t want anything to do with them.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Nov 4, 2021

Connection is essential for me. Without it it’s just kinky sex.