Men, what you need to know.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021

Jareth
Yes she has the right to hold her man accountable. She shouldn't have to be with a slob just because he's a Dom.

The weight should be discussed. Then what is discussed should be expected not demanded.

If we all hold ourselves accountable there's no need to micro manage someone. I would never take pleasure in that.

Children come first. Period.

It doesn't take nine months to lose baby weight unless there's a health issue. But I never said I was looking for a woman with a perfect body.

Lastly I was attacked by more than one person here and I was very controlled in my response. Trust me.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

Pinnacle - Again regarding weight loss after having a baby you are not looking at reality. Sure if we all had dietitians, personal trainers, and partners to share the child rearing the weight loss would be quicker. That’s how celebrities get back into shape so fast. Would I give up the moments with my babies to be in the gym all the time instead? Probably not. Here’s the thing though - a man that I consider high value would place value on me as a mother. He would appreciate and love my body for what it through to give us our child. He would acknowledge the risks taken. The pain endured. He would be proud that I’m a good mother to his children and make them my priority instead of focusing on getting a bikini body.
Would you expect your woman to get plastic surgery after having children too? Breasts sag from growing and then shrinking. Stretch marks appear. Skin sometimes loses elasticity.
Like I said before. Bodies change.

The reality is that most women at least here in the US work until they give birth, have 6 weeks (not guaranteed paid) time off, and then are expected to go back to work, and do most of not only the childcare but the cooking and housework too.

I think the problem that some men are having is women don’t need you for money anymore because we can make our own. Now men have to be more than that, and some are not up to the challenge.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021

Butterflies, I know it's not easy to lose weight but let's not come off as if it's impossible to lose baby weight within a nine month period. It was not specified how much weight would need to be lost. Because that would have to be taken into account. Also what her weight was before she became pregnant is part of the equation. I understand these things. I know she won't be a size 4 after having a baby. And I don't expect it. But be reasonable. Celebrities are usually in shape before conceiving, making it so much easier to lose the baby weight. Of course the trainers and dieticians help speed it up. I've worked with women that have had kids. I also see how they eat. And it ain't good. And I've heard them say they shouldn't be eating this or that, yet keep doing it.

I never mentioned anything about surgery. So why go there? Stop allowing yourself to get triggered so easily. I'm not judging you.

I have no problem with a woman making her own money. What I find is that independent boss women want to BE men rather than BE WITH men. They want to compete with men. The problem is that the more a woman makes, the more her man needs to make, shrinking her pool of desirable men. But I don't wanna get too deep into that.

Ingénue{VK} • Nov 19, 2021

The original post: my issue is weight. What is yours?

Mmmm.

Issues? Giggles.

Oh the difference between a Dominant and a mansplainer.

This thread is a masterclass in that.

Hands out shovels and rope.

Women's bodies? None of anyone's business except hers, without ongoing and enthusiastic consent in any transformation plans and process.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

Pinnacle - I am going by the video that you promoted here. There is no mention from him nor a disclaimer from you about how much weight loss is expected or considering how much she weighed before. Be accountable.
I never said it’s impossible to lose the baby weight in 9 months. I can tell you that I tried like hell - I watched my diet and got up before my baby to work out and worked out again in the evening (from home because I was still the primary parent). You know what? The weight was still slow to come off. Maybe because sleep is important for weight loss too.
I can also tell you that it was difficult to lose weight I put on during covid lockdown. I have more time since my kids are older so I could really get in the gym, yet it still took time for the weight to come off. So I know the struggle and telling women that’s it’s easy if you just cut sugar is not helpful and can be harmful.
I mentioned surgery because you focus so much on women’s physical appearance. It’s not outlandish to think sagging breasts or stretch marks would also be an issue l
Lastly you go right back to women only looking for money as if the only way to attract us is to make more than we have. Desirable men aren’t desirable just because of how much money they make. You seem to be very interested in telling us women what men want, but do you pay attention when women tell you what we want?
You were the one whining earlier about being canceled and attacked. I’m not the triggered one.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021

I was the one whining? The being cancelled line was a joke. You have internalized everything I said and made it all about you. Like i said before. I'm not judging you. So stop projecting.

Defender​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021

Wow.

You peeps certainly know how to take chunks out of each other!

And this thread just goes round and round.

Has anybody's mind been changed?


I read it because I like reading, and learning.

I have now read it - but have not learnt much of use to me.


I am not going to express a view on weight, or weight loss.

Just on vulnerability:

Those who feel, or who actually are vulnerable need compassion, not attitude.

Always best to leave that at the door.....

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

Oh? That whole comment was about how poor men can’t say nuffin without being called a big meanie.

Perhaps I am sensitive over the fact that some women might see this post and believe it or that more men will buy into it. Look at that. Being accountable for my feelings and words. You might try it since you like to preach about it so much.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

i want to share some personal details about baby weight and more.

first, if a person has a preference about weight and their consenting partner has the same goals and ideals and both work together to reach and achieve goals, without shaming but reframing anything that doesn’t work, this is perfectly acceptable within their personal dynamic and fits their ideals and lifestyle. healthy living is a positive thing. HEALTHY is not only physical. if things change due to health, reproduction, whatever, i do hope there is understanding and plans there on how that would be handled without abusing ones partner. each person can choose who they wish and choose to end a relationship at any time.

i have been deeply hurt by a partner of 12 years that shamed me for not losing weight i gained during the grief and horror of 2020 while my sister fought and died of cancer, diagnosed in february and passed in august. my 11 yr old dog, friend, companion had to be put down due to his cancer 12/21/20. there was additional loss that year. this was the first time i had ever experienced a “weight issue” as i saw it. he “left me” as an attempted tool / motivation for me to lose weight 01/2021. he won’t get me back.

background about me with weight

i was always underweight. i had a child at 23 and due to nursing didnt drip the extra until i stopped nursing over a year later. this is as nature demanded. this was okay. when i stopped nursing the weight started melting off. i was young, i had more time. i continued to be athletic, active, and fit.

i am now 42. the struggle with losing the 2020 weight has been hormonal (cortisol - stress hormone), but i truly believe it was mostly mental due to what his words and shaming did to my body image. i am with a supportive partner that loves me as i am now and my energy and motivation have returned.

consider approach. let it be her choice.

and to everyone, if you cannot understand changing biology and hormones, please don’t get too involved with another person.

this whole thread brought up all the pain and shame and fear; i reacted with shaking, shivering, and weeping in remembered pain back when i read it the first time, it had taken on this element of shaming our very natural and human changes. this was positive as i was able to see how much this was still a part of me so i could take steps to resolve the shame as it was not something i deserved to carry. that was the poison of an unhealthy partner. i am deeply sorry for any that may have experienced anything similar from this, from their own thoughts or at the hands of someone they loved. i hope if someone is hurting you and making you feel less, that you make a change. the weight is not the change to make with someone like that, do that for yourself.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

I do feel like I need to add that I agree if your submissive has indicated she wants to lose weight and get healthier it’s perfectly appropriate for her Dom to help her in this. However, I think you have to be careful with this as I could see how a submissive could develop harmful habits if not.

SSR - Hugs to you. Sorry this thread has pulled up those awful memories for you.