8 months ago • Nov 30, 2021
SubtleHush(sub female) • Nov 30, 2021
SubtleHush said: "One that is a red flag for me is the remark, "But you'd do it to please me" NOOOOOO"
Dominus:: "There is some really good advice here. However, I do want to give a heads up on the item above. Context is always vital. Someone earlier mentioned that if you see something you’re unsure about, to flag it to one of the “team” from the event. That advice is key - as you may not know the context.
The above warning (quoted from SubtleHush) I would agree with EXCEPT for context. Is it coercive - that depends on the circumstances.
I agree entirely. My reference which could have been clearer is when two new people are talking (As the OP is going to be new at a party) and one says that they are not comfortable with something. And the other interjects that phrase. In some cases, it is the test they use to make you feel you have to say yes to to be MORE of something, sub, slave, bottom whatever.
One case I had was a man who wanted me to have sex with him in a high-end men's dressing room, hoping we'd get caught. That is not my deal. I don't involve vanillas and I don't get off on being 'caught'. I politely said as much and he interjected, "BUT you'd do it to please me. Right?"
So what I know from this is that he is already pushing a stranger after it was made clear that it was a hard limit. That is a red flag for me.
And if that is his first response, how many more times would I be manipulated into an action that was against my integrity or readiness with that ploy?
In a dynamic when we know each other I would totally enjoy certain uses of this, but not from a stranger who is claiming to respect limits and boundaries and already pushing them.
Hope that clears it up a bit.