any red flags

any red flags

Alfasun • Dec 1, 2021

ANY RED FLAGS???

I am learning that it’s good to have sexual thoughts in your mind. However, when you are in the moment where your sexual thoughts become reality, you need to make sure to control your emotions and in particularly in my case the fear and live the moment. Have more trust in my Dom, so I do not worry about disease transmission etc. That for You to control and keep us safe, to really understand that it’s not my job as a submissive to control/think about it while you are the…this only becomes the case if you send me out alone and You aren’t present.

As a submissive it is never about my wants and feelings. I need to put them aside and make sure I am being submissive. It’s important to do things in the relationship not in a way that is just suitable for me. More what’s best and more suitable for the relationship and put in the effort and appreciate the effort that has been put into the relationship by all.

Being comfortable in spending money in us. Having to ask You for permission, if I can spend my own money to make it is clear to mE that You control and decide everything in my life.

Always being aware of the energy you put in a relationship. Making sure it’s more fun and positive, because negative energy does nothing.

It’s more important what you give than focusing on what you get…
However having said all that understanding that my submission to You is a choice so if I chose not to submit to You, You could not control anything … but in our relationship we choose to be with each other, to submit and to Dominate..

glasshouse • Dec 1, 2021

All, it’s a give and take and all need to be communicated and to keep yourself safe.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Dec 1, 2021

This post starts out with the words: "Any red flags" followed by three question marks. Then goes into great detail giving us a mission statement of some sort. Where is the question being asked? It reads as a fait accompli rather than a jumping off point for any discussion to me. What am I missing, please?

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 1, 2021

Alfasun - "ANY RED FLAGS???"

... OK I'm stupid I will try. However, these concepts you've commingled here are often seen at different stages of development in a dynamic. They are NOT given at hello and many develop due to common core values between the couple (or triad etc) You tossed them out to seem (to me anyway) that they are this playbook for every newie to follow. That is foolish and dangerous.

"Have more trust in my Dom, so I do not worry about disease transmission etc. That for You to control and keep us safe, to really understand that it’s not my job as a submissive to control/think about it while you are the…this only becomes the case if you send me out alone and You aren’t present."

---RED flag - The problem with trust is that when you find out you trusted the wrong person it is often too late. This itself is a very long topic.

"As a submissive it is never about my wants and feelings. I need to put them aside and make sure I am being submissive. It’s important to do things in the relationship not in a way that is just suitable for me. More what’s best and more suitable for the relationship and put in the effort and appreciate the effort that has been put into the relationship by all."

---RED flag - I find what drives great submission is the wanting of it. You want to do that thing and your feelings are always in there. Some may be able to reach a level of selflessness but I've seen many more pretend it. You cannot cut out your humanity for another and why would they want only the shell of you?

"Being comfortable in spending money in us. Having to ask You for permission, if I can spend my own money to make it is clear to mE that You control and decide everything in my life."

---Not all dynamics allow financial control and be damn sure the other has financial acumen and skill to handle that responsibility. And always have it in writing with legal counsel and an exit strategy if things end.

"Always being aware of the energy you put in a relationship. Making sure it’s more fun and positive, because negative energy does nothing."

---Negative energy, like a strange noise in your car, indicates a problem. Faking positivity delays but does not prevent problems. Fully functioning adults, even slaves and subs, have their bad days. They do no one a service by not managing them and being honest about them to their partner.

"It’s more important what you give than focusing on what you get…"

---This is true in most of life and directly relates to the laws of creation, attraction, and allowance/acceptance.

"However having said all that understanding that my submission to You is a choice so if I chose not to submit to You, You could not control anything … but in our relationship we choose to be with each other, to submit and to Dominate."

---This is contrary to some of the things you said above, so what was the purpose of this post?

---If this is your way of trying to disseminate random information you've found I'd suggest you get some long-known and respected resource materials and start there. I mean books for sale, not random people's blogs.

H*

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Dec 1, 2021

Snipped again for extreme brevity:



I also questioned what the intent of the post was, but more to the point - it made me uncomfortable in the same watching a hostage video does. It reads like an indoctrination script but I'm hoping I'm just misunderstanding the underlying intent. I keep wanting to encourage someone to blink twice if they need help.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 1, 2021

WytchyWoman​

"I also questioned what the intent of the post was, but more to the point - it made me uncomfortable in the same watching a hostage video does. It reads like an indoctrination script but I'm hoping I'm just misunderstanding the underlying intent. I keep wanting to encourage someone to blink twice if they need help."
...
Please, I find myself blinking just trying to read some of these posts.

I also no longer buy into that English isn't my primary language. Lack of knowledge is a global thing.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Dec 1, 2021

I'm often left with the impression that some of the forum posts and ensuing comments - and even some of the blog posts written here are just fantasies being presented as "this happened to me over the weekend". I love well written erotica but some of what I see scattered around here seems like someone with an over-active imagination trying to sell the crowd here a ticket to a non-event.

Alfasun • Dec 1, 2021

just to say when you read it through does anything jump out that you would identify as a red flag...
and if so what..

was the point...

Alfasun • Dec 1, 2021

thank you.. hush for taking the time...
good read and a lot to take from it!!

Alfasun • Dec 1, 2021

In all, I feel its easy to lose "the game" because its so emotional...
I've always felt that the issue with vanilla is...we don't know the game, the rules of the game
or even how to play the game anymore....we just go with what comes..
D\s is setting up a game as you would volleyball, basketball or football...that I then chose to play in knowing my role...different rules to govern but
we know its a game...there are things that will have you thrown out, things that should be changed,
or ruled out, things that can be added all over time...emotions are real and invested but we can never forget
it's a game.....

D\s is an adult game, everyone playing should always be aware of...that is the contradiction...agreeing to all the things
that would have us blinking four times never mind two...things that are uncomfortable...but saying..I see what you see, just wanted
to make sure I have not missed anything that I agree too...
so
Thank you