curiouskittyy(sub female){GentlemanX}
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6 years ago •
Jul 30, 2018
Yeah I am the same Sybil x
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Online now
Redtailedkitty
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6 years ago •
Jul 30, 2018
This is a good question and like the others, talk to who you want. You know who you are and what you are about. If it’s the person messaging making assumptions, refer them to your profile. I do. I make it clear on mine where I’m at and what I’m a pit. If it’s others judging you for communicating with a D, fuck ‘em. I’ve felt compelled to explain myself and who I associate or talk to in the past. Or how I behave.... For me, it’s a little different scenario as I’m collared so either I’m cheating, making my Sir look bad, being a brat or whatever. *shrug*. That’s on the judger not me. My Sir knows and trusts me and I follow our rules. I’ve made it clear what I’m about on my profile, don’t like it...there is the door.
I will also say that I, personally, am a little more cautious on how I interact with a taken Dom or sub versus an unattached one. I don’t want to inadvertently cause issues there either. However, both of these scenarios at times limits my conversational pool. There are some Doms I’d love to get to know more, pick their brains, just chat with but “societal pressures” seem to limit that option on both ends of the /. |
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FabSeverus(dom male)
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6 years ago •
Jul 30, 2018
what a very interesting question,
first answer defo NO! then after depending how the conversation goes, obviously interpreation would be different from one side to the other. If you are talking about the weather it might be just charming, but if you start talking about whats this site is for, so kinky chat, be careful how you express yourself. Especially if you are chatting with predator type, Doms/Tops type 
Last answer no rules except the sire rules so Just be yourself, if its getting too hot to handle just hit the red button !! |
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Babygirlucy(sub female)
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6 years ago •
Jul 30, 2018
I was wondering the same thing. I haven’t chosen a dom just yet. I’m new to all this. I’m still looking but I need to get to know the person first before I jump right in. Told a guy that I hadn’t chosen one yet. I haven’t been on here that long and he said he wasn’t going to enter a pissing contest. First off he contacted me ask me some questions and we started talking. When I reply I’m just trying to be polite. Is ignoring the way to do it? I mean am I not mistaken but these kinds of relationships are very intimate and I’m very serious about it so why not take your time and get to know some of them. Im learning that some of these guys just want a plaything.
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Redtailedkitty
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6 years ago •
Jul 30, 2018
Babygirlucy wrote: I was wondering the same thing. I haven’t chosen a dom just yet. I’m new to all this. I’m still looking but I need to get to know the person first before I jump right in. Told a guy that I hadn’t chosen one yet. I haven’t been on here that long and he said he wasn’t going to enter a pissing contest. First off he contacted me ask me some questions and we started talking. When I reply I’m just trying to be polite. Is ignoring the way to do it? I mean am I not mistaken but these kinds of relationships are very intimate and I’m very serious about it so why not take your time and get to know some of them. Im learning that some of these guys just want a plaything.
That is the key right there, if someone responds like that, it is a huge red flag that they are not serious and are not interested in wanking off not an actual D/s relationship. Sigh. |
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FunCouple{.-Couple-.}
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6 years ago •
Jul 31, 2018
Re: Conversation and misunderstandings CuriousKitty1002 wrote: Does a Sub talking to a Dom mean that she is automatically interested in becoming theirs? I mean, I am still relatively new to this community and I honestly don’t know if there is some secret BDSM etiquette that perhaps I am missing. Just because I speak with another person (whether D/s/switch etc), it doesn’t necessarily mean I am interested in them on a personal level. I respond to almost all of the messages I receive and generally enjoy speaking to all fellow kinksters. Clearly, I don’t want to give off the wrong vibe, I’m just learning the ropes so to speak. Gaining valuable information through the experiences and opinions of others.
Is there a general unspoken rule that i should be aware of? so that I may avoid offending others. Perhaps something that states that any D/s Who communicate are a “perspective” to the other unless stated from the beginning of communications?. I personally thought it would have been rather clear, but now I’m not to sure. Hello CuriousK A ‘single’ sub is the person who is in control until THEY decide and THEY choose what to give to a Dom. You are in charge, just like if you were in a pup and a guy came over and struck up a conversation. You might be flirty and stare intently into his eyes and giggle over every little think he says. You might find him interesting and discuss politics and the meaning of life. You might find him and the conversation boring after a few sentences. You might find him uncomfortable and a bit of a Sleazeoid. In each of the above situations you decide what and how you are going to interact in the way you choose. It is a little different face to face than being online, that is true, but the principal is the same. When I have met with subs in the past, in real life, who have shown an interest in me, until I get the green light, that woman holds all the cards. And it may be of worth to know, I have always said “If I say something that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell me. If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, tell me. If you decide I’m not the one for you, tell me. I will not take offence or be insulted. I do not want you feeling or being uncomfortable” Rightly or wrongly, as a sexually dominant Dom, I saw it as my roll to make my perspective sub/play partner feel at ease from the gecko. To read the signs showing before me. Hang on, I better check your original post. I feel like I may be waffling. Yep I think I was. Basically, say what you want to say to whom you want ....... but be honest, polite, respectful and kind. If you think something may offend, ask and check first. If someone is getting the wrong vibe, that’s their problem. They have made the mistake, not you. If someone is being an annoying jack-ass... smile and repeat after me “Don’t let the door smack ya on the way out buddy. I’m a sub, but I’m not your sub. Nor will I ever be” Here endeth the reading. FC |
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FabSeverus(dom male)
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6 years ago •
Jul 31, 2018
ooops!
" Last answer no rules except the sire rules so" I meant to say the site rules of course....!! |
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curiouskittyy(sub female){GentlemanX}
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6 years ago •
Jul 31, 2018
Re: Conversation and misunderstandings FunCouple wrote: CuriousKitty1002 wrote: Does a Sub talking to a Dom mean that she is automatically interested in becoming theirs? I mean, I am still relatively new to this community and I honestly don’t know if there is some secret BDSM etiquette that perhaps I am missing. Just because I speak with another person (whether D/s/switch etc), it doesn’t necessarily mean I am interested in them on a personal level. I respond to almost all of the messages I receive and generally enjoy speaking to all fellow kinksters. Clearly, I don’t want to give off the wrong vibe, I’m just learning the ropes so to speak. Gaining valuable information through the experiences and opinions of others.
Is there a general unspoken rule that i should be aware of? so that I may avoid offending others. Perhaps something that states that any D/s Who communicate are a “perspective” to the other unless stated from the beginning of communications?. I personally thought it would have been rather clear, but now I’m not to sure. Hello CuriousK A ‘single’ sub is the person who is in control until THEY decide and THEY choose what to give to a Dom. You are in charge, just like if you were in a pup and a guy came over and struck up a conversation. You might be flirty and stare intently into his eyes and giggle over every little think he says. You might find him interesting and discuss politics and the meaning of life. You might find him and the conversation boring after a few sentences. You might find him uncomfortable and a bit of a Sleazeoid. In each of the above situations you decide what and how you are going to interact in the way you choose. It is a little different face to face than being online, that is true, but the principal is the same. When I have met with subs in the past, in real life, who have shown an interest in me, until I get the green light, that woman holds all the cards. And it may be of worth to know, I have always said “If I say something that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell me. If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, tell me. If you decide I’m not the one for you, tell me. I will not take offence or be insulted. I do not want you feeling or being uncomfortable” Rightly or wrongly, as a sexually dominant Dom, I saw it as my roll to make my perspective sub/play partner feel at ease from the gecko. To read the signs showing before me. Hang on, I better check your original post. I feel like I may be waffling. Yep I think I was. Basically, say what you want to say to whom you want ....... but be honest, polite, respectful and kind. If you think something may offend, ask and check first. If someone is getting the wrong vibe, that’s their problem. They have made the mistake, not you. If someone is being an annoying jack-ass... smile and repeat after me “Don’t let the door smack ya on the way out buddy. I’m a sub, but I’m not your sub. Nor will I ever be” Here endeth the reading. FC I wish I could love this comment rather than just liking it. I think you’re absolutely right about things being different online and face-to-face but with the same principles. However, this is one of the hardest obstacles for me personally. I always try to be courteous, honest and kind to any individual that I interact with, but the issue with online is that you can’t always work out the correct “vibe” from the other person. You don’t realise how much you rely on body language, tone of voice etc until it’s taken away. Thank you for the advice, particularly regarding the door , I will definitely be taking this on board x
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