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Asking advise

DaddysBabyGirlMandy​(sub female){Taken}
2 years ago • Dec 9, 2021
He didn't suggest we bring in another woman into our relationship we came up with the idea together were trying to find a mommy type or a babysitter not sure what would be best for me he did say if anyone wanted further details of our specific situation and why we are looking to ask him but it doesn't seem anyone read that part or they're just blatantly ignoring that part of the post I didn't mean to get so defensive but we tried posting in other sites and other forms but nobody seems to understand or try to understand what we're looking for or what we're asking of everyone just wants to jump down our throat and automatically assume something that isn't true instead of asking us questions to give them further details of our situation and why we are looking for advice on something like this because if asked we are more than happy to give further details on the situation
DaddysBabyGirlMandy​(sub female){Taken}
2 years ago • Dec 9, 2021
WytchyWoman wrote:
SubtleHush wrote:

Mandy if you are disabled and your Sir works a lot that is one issue, I don't see what makes you think it is a Ds issue.

First, you deal with the disability and explore other support options.
Then you deal with your relationship and make sure the holes in it are patched at the very least.
Then you learn more about what it is that we do.
Then ask people who have successfully done it as poly couples.

Oh and Mandy, unclench. When you post to a public forum, you get the responses you get. Save the tirades for your Daddy Dom. A lot of people here have seen this type of thing too often over the years to tell you anything but the unvarnished truth. Ignore it if you want, but it is still the truth.

H*


Here's yet another case of someone getting angry because their partner failed to clarify a major factor involved in their issue. Dealing with the actual physical challenges of a a new disability might best be addressed with a non kink caregiver type but that advice won't be received well - not at all. *sighs*
we have a 24/7 non kink caregiver but we're trying to find a mommy type or babysitter that would be a non sexual type of an arrangement outside of the home a couple times a week because of his recent unexpected heavy workload and hours which has put a damper on my little side and the attention he can give me regards to that if that makes sense if you would like to know more please feel free to message me and I can go more in depth and give you full detail of everything we are dealing with
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
2 years ago • Dec 9, 2021
DaddysBabyGirlMandy wrote:
He didn't suggest we bring in another woman into our relationship we came up with the idea together were trying to find a mommy type or a babysitter not sure what would be best for me he did say if anyone wanted further details of our specific situation and why we are looking to ask him but it doesn't seem anyone read that part or they're just blatantly ignoring that part of the post I didn't mean to get so defensive but we tried posting in other sites and other forms but nobody seems to understand or try to understand what we're looking for or what we're asking of everyone just wants to jump down our throat and automatically assume something that isn't true instead of asking us questions to give them further details of our situation and why we are looking for advice on something like this because if asked we are more than happy to give further details on the situation


Take a step back. You just admitted this is not the first place the two of you have come and presented yourselves. You then complain NO ONE understands what the two of you *really* want and seem to place that blame on everything and anyone but the fact that neither of you communicate particularly well. Reread your own comments you've made and work on being more expressive without going on attack and accusing strangers of not caring enough about you and your daddy. Anyone adult enough to be a daddy should be articulate enough to flesh out his needs and yours more than he originally presented. Brightest of blessings. icon_smile.gif
DaddysBabyGirlMandy​(sub female){Taken}
2 years ago • Dec 9, 2021
And that's the thing he put in the original post to ask for more details and it doesn't seem like anybody does and I know what my comment said I tend to get emotional really quickly but you're right I do need to take a step back and I shouldn't have responded like I did right away I should have let myself come down first instead of just acting out right off the bat
DaddysBabyGirlMandy​(sub female){Taken}
2 years ago • Dec 9, 2021
And his original post was asking for advice and how we should go about finding somebody and if people wanted further details to ask but it doesn't seem like everyone does want to help and I guess that's what's frustrating me the most yes we have gotten good advice but we've also gotten some not so good advice as well as some very negative comments and assumptions without people knowing the full details because they didn't ask for the full details and that gets really frustrating for me and I don't know if that makes any sense
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
2 years ago • Dec 9, 2021
DaddysBabyGirlMandy wrote:
And that's the thing he put in the original post to ask for more details and it doesn't seem like anybody does and I know what my comment said I tend to get emotional really quickly but you're right I do need to take a step back and I shouldn't have responded like I did right away I should have let myself come down first instead of just acting out right off the bat


While you're taking that step back and re-evaluating your *own* needs and those of your daddy, please ask yourself what kind of incentive some mommy figure might have for entering into and tolerating a situation so rife with poor communication skills but highly charged with temperamental drama. icon_smile.gif
DaddysBabyGirlMandy​(sub female){Taken}
2 years ago • Dec 9, 2021
And that goes with some of the details we were willing to discuss I have autism and sometimes find it hard to control my emotions or two articulate myself the right way and I wasn't trying to go into full detail on an open form like this but if I have to I will as far as a disability aspect not only in my autistic but I have epilepsy as well as some other health and mental health issues and I do take medication I do have a full-time non kink caregiver we were just trying to figure out a way to see if it was possible to find a mommy type or a babysitter that would be once or twice a week because with him working so often because he recently got a raise which gives him more hours now I've had to suppress my little side which also makes me more emotional and act out more because I don't have an outlet anymore
Zvengali
2 years ago • Dec 10, 2021
Zvengali • Dec 10, 2021
Has any couple in the history of man, ever said....We should have a baby, and that will bring us closer.....and in the end. All that was done was another child brought into the world and your relationship is still in the toilet. Better you figure out of YOU are really what she needs, or allow her to move on and find another. I would imagine she chose you, because you might have told her you would take complete care of her. Like a true responsible Dom would do. And now you find that your TOO BUSY and have basically told her an untruth about yourself. Yes, things change. BUT, your responsibility doesnt. If you can do the job you told her you could do. Then its time to let her go and find another that will. Bringing someone else in ???? BAD BAD PLAN....

No animals were hurt in the making of this comment...... Zvengali
SubtleHush​(sub female)
2 years ago • Dec 10, 2021
SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 10, 2021
DaddysBabyGirlMandy​
"he did say if anyone wanted further details of our specific situation and why we are looking to ask him but it doesn't seem anyone read that part or they're just blatantly ignoring that part"

(So more than advice this was a sort of ad? They don't work in general postings, you need to find a personal ad resource for that."

"if you would like to know more please feel free to message me and I can go more in-depth and give you full detail of everything we are dealing with"

(again hun not the right platform and to be honest, I don't think those 'PM me' invites ever really work.)

(It sounds like a tough time with a lot of challenges around. I suggest that adding more layers to your lives is not a great idea. As I said originally the plug n play approach to problems never really works.

While I respect that you are just trying to add happier times to a difficult scenario you may have to accept that when you are dealing with health issues and disabilities, other things might have to be left behind for a while. This is why I originally said:

First, you deal with the disability and explore other support options.
Then you deal with your relationship and make sure the holes in it are patched at the very least.
Then you learn more about what it is that we do.
Then ask people who have successfully done it as poly couples.
...

I'm not bothered that you got annoyed and maybe answered sooner than you felt you should, but understand one very important thing. Many of us have done our time with health issues, disabilities, relationship issues, not getting our needs met and even worse. Many of us have tried what you are trying to do. Or seen it tried by those close to us.

Your little side might have to grow up a smidge for a while and I can say that as a long-time submissive who has not had a Dominant partner since my Sir died in 2015. So as much as it sucks, you have to prioritize what is possible and what is not. Adding layers of people onto your difficult situation is hard because they are not things, they are people, with feelings and emotions and their own needs.

It would be very different from a caregiver who shows up, is friendly, does their job, and then goes home to their own personal life.

And as Iron said at the start you have to be very careful who you add to your dynamic in any way. So advertising on a random discussion forum might bring you someone but making sure they are not going to hurt your relationship with your partner is not so easy. Long, long time Ms friends of mine almost lost everything because a woman came into the dynamic and She and the Master clicked so deeply that He considered leaving his slave of two decades. In the end, they stayed together but the damage done took therapy and a long time to repair the trust.

You cannot know the impact you would have on that new mommie person or they on you. Frankly, it doesn't sound as though either of you would have the personal facility to deal with more setbacks. Which is the nice way of saying what Iron said.

And to be blunt, the poor communication and missing info on your partner's first post is not a good indicator of how you as a couple would handle surprises.

Hang in there. You may be a LG at heart but life has handed you a very grown-up life right now, you can get through it, but I don't think this is the way to do that. Good luck.

H*
nuli​(sub female){Unkolared}
2 years ago • Dec 10, 2021
DaddysBabyGirlMandy wrote:
Ironworld. you shouldn't assume things because as the old saying goes when you assume something you make an ass out of you and me maybe instead of automatically assuming what the situation might be you might want to actually ask questions and give some actual solid advice instead of acting like a total troll and cyber bully because everything you just assumed is completely off base and 100% wrong you might want to know how I know this it's because I'm his little girl so maybe you should ask questions on why we have decided something like this maybe like the fact of the matter that recently I became disabled and can't be left home alone anymore so maybe you shouldn't just be outright douche and assume and judge and bully people online or in general for that matter but I have better things to do so I hope you have a lovely and blessed day


Honestly i was thinking along the same lines as Iron. and what he said was honestly upfront and truthful. Married or not who is to say the problem he outlined wont pop up. Adding a third to any relationship has its ups and downs. All he did was offer advice in what he should do to protect the Male of the relationship. tho i would have also added things to protect the female.