AGE GAP - Do you have a limit???

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jan 17, 2022

Culiure sets the standards and we are all culturally conditioned.

Many of us discovered at a certain point in our life that we have "kinks," which to me is just a generic term indicating desires/needs that fall outside the cultural 'norm.' We have general cultural rules and laws, presumably to protect. How many in the last century were arrested, imprisoned, or worse, using "sodomy" laws?

Age is a factor. It's important for society to protect those who have not developed the ability to protect their self. After one has reached age of consent, doesn't always mean that person is equipped to make good decisions. By our 'moral code' an 18 year old is old enough to join the military and get subjected to all manner of horrors as a soldier, but some grimace at the notion of that same 18 year old fucking their grandparent.

Which i am not advocating for or against, i'm saying i think our codes and standards should be based on doing no harm vs putting a number on it. i've seen some 20 year olds in the hospital where i work who were far more mature and equipped than some of the >50 year olds they cared for. i think as with most things, it comes down to individuals, not some randomly chosen numbers.

Some religions have gotten a lot of mileage (read: "control") by using sex as a means of keeping people corralled. Some forms of Christianity are based on the notion of virgin birth. Culture was very different 2000 years ago at the purported time of Jesus birth. As the story goes, God inseminated a virgin ("Mary.") who was engaged to another man ("Joseph"), without her consent. Back then, the common age of engagement was 13 or 14. By todays common cultural standards that would make some peoples God a rapist and a paedophile.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 17, 2022

At no point did the poster whom you're directing your ire at attempt to prescribe any of her limits to anyone else here. Just to be clear on THAT bone of contention. Too damned often on this site, in particular, the voicing of a personal opinion is accompanied by loud and overwrought howls of distress and interpretations of intolerance. Cutting to the chase right here on this first point you used as an example - it applies to all of your subsequent complaints you go on to detail at great length.

WholesomeWhore​(switch female){SwellDaddy} • Jan 17, 2022

(Speaking only of course about people over the age of consent)

Having an unbendable age/age-gap limit for one's partners seems arbitrary. Why impose such a silly rule for yourself? What is it specifically about one's age that would make them an unsuitable partner? And how did you determine that your specified limit/age is going to ensure you weed those individuals out better than a conversation would? Because at the end of the day one's age is not an accurate indicator for personality/character and eliminating people purely because their age is a distance from your own only does YOU a disservice.

IMHO it would be better to instead acknowledge any limits or boundaries one might have that they associate with people of a specific age bracket. Then ensure you have an honest conversation on those topics with any new partners.

People like easy ways to tell those they're not attracted to that they're not interested, and one's age is for some reason used as a socially acceptable reason to dismiss a suitor.

HurtSoGood • Jan 17, 2022

Respect to everyone's preferences, as they are just that, personal preferences.

Personally, even when I was 18-19 (I'm 32 now), age has not been a factor into my preferences. Granted, I have an age gap that I generally tend to find myself falling into. But those are not hard boundaries I have set. For me, my attraction to an individual is based on our connection and compatibility, whether that be from a romantic, sexual or even friendship role.

If I can carry a conversation and share interests or common life goals with an individual then their age is irrelevant to me in any context outside of legalities for obvious reasons. Age does not dictate maturity or growth as an individual. I have met teenagers (nonsexually) that possess more composure than someone in their 80s who, by default of having more life experience, should have exhibited some form of growth but lack that ability for whatever reason.

And, if I were to find myself in a relationship with someone where there was a large age gap and it made other people uncomfortable then all I have to say is that is their struggle to deal with, not mine, with all due respect to their preferences. You do you and I'll do me. It's not my place to censure anyone for how they choose to live their life just as they have no right to do that to me.

Richlydefined​(sub female){Gardener} • Jan 17, 2022

For me personally, I have never put much stock into age. I have always been more mature than my peers, it made growing up difficult and dating complicated. I have always dated older men. The largest gap I believe was 24 years but the longest and most successful relationship had an 8-year gap. It was never about the number, I chose those partners because their level of maturity, interests, and behaviors was similar to my own. I've never felt the need to acknowledge anyone else's judgments of my relationships.

Ingénue{VK} • Jan 17, 2022

Lower limit: consent
Upper limit: dead

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 17, 2022

Not only should some people stop being concerned about how someone else either accepts or rejects their personal kink(s) or any expressions of said kink, they also need to stop howling at anyone else who's simply expressing their own opinion. It's tiresome seeing a few reacting as though someone smacked a baby or kicked a puppy in front of them.

Defender​(dom male) • Jan 17, 2022

[quote="Richlydefined" I've never felt the need to acknowledge anyone else's judgments of my relationships.[/quote]

Very sensible.

However, IMO it would be preferable if people could resist the urge to judge other peoples' relationships in the first place.

Especially on here....

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 17, 2022

Judgment:
(verb)
Form an opinion or conclusion about.

We all do that. No matter whether it's on a "kink" site or you watching someone in line at the grocery store. If people threw their innate tendency to make any kind of judgment out the window, the survival of the human race would be severely compromised. It would be so refreshing if some people rose above their knee jerk resistance to hearing an opinion that differs from their own and assuming that the other person is being critical of *them*.

No Body​(dom male) • Jan 17, 2022

I have seen May December work, but I am not sure what age limit I would have. I love my younger friends but there are lines I won't cross because of our friendship. I do know nothing under 25 or over 80. Even 25 seems pervish hell 40 seems too young now.