Wetting

Wetting

LXAnn​(switch gender queer) • Feb 2, 2022

My partner is very into wetting as a concept, but in practice we haven’t been able to make it work. They’re into the power play/desperation aspect of it, and also really enjoy puppy play which I have tried to incorporate. We have tried a couple different positions and while the desperation aspect is there, they haven’t been able to actually release and wet themself. Threats, teasing, patronizing, physical pressure, etc have all proven unsuccessful. How can I make my partner’s submissive fantasies come true? Someone who has maybe some more experience with this, some advice would be very helpful.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Feb 2, 2022

Good luck. Shy bladder is pretty common. I was in the ER and unable to get up and walk to the bathroom last year but when a nurse brought me a bedpan, I could not pee. Even though my eyes were beginning to turn yellow from the overflow from my bladder. I had to be catheterized which was def no fun at all for me.

Cressida Clytie​(masochist female){Taken} • Feb 2, 2022

can totally relate to you @WytchyWoman. Same scenario and even collecting a sample for a urine test sometimes takes forever.

Shaynna​(dom female){SxH} • Feb 2, 2022

I know the feeling.
And when I'm in out of nowhere, with no toilets nearby and I need to do it outdoors? It takes me so long and I always feel like I didn't let it all out.

I don't have any helpful advice, sorry

Bunnie • Feb 3, 2022

“How can I make my partner’s submissive fantasies come true?”

Perhaps you could try including masturbation. It is an area that touches very deeply in the realms of humiliation and degradation, and despite being a desire, may well have a lot of shame attached to it.

Building trust, and creating ways to make the focus less on that specific aspect, may help create stepping stones.

Re: Wetting

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Feb 3, 2022

i'm on the sub side of this one, also into the power play/psychological side of it, so that's the perspective i am coming from. These are just my thoughts and feelings, not assuming they apply universally.

With that said, to me it's easy to put the cart before the horse when venturing into mind fuck. Also, i think a lot of time we wanna start with advanced stuff, rather than learning how to crawl, walk then run, we want to start with running. Most people are not continence trained till age 3 or 4, but we want to undo that instantly? To me, it is better, and a hell of a lot more of a mind fuck, to open or undo the barrier that prevents one from wetting than to try and force it.

As the one in control, try setting it up without discussing what You are doing or what's going to happen (i.e., don't put the cart before the horse). As a starting place, maybe set up a romantic dinner and movie at home (i.e., a safe place). Make sure You keep You subs glass full. Tea or coffee with caffeine is a diuretic and will help facilitate the need to void. At some point, Your sub is going to naturally need to void, setting it up so they will not be able to, or may have an accident is part of the power play. Each time they want to go, distract them or have them in a position where they cannot go. Driving in a car is a good one for this, because it is not obvious that You are controlling the situation. Maybe the door to the bathroom is "stuck" so when the sub finally gets the chance to go, access is denied. The point is to create a situation where they have to go naturally, but access to facilities is somehow unavailable.

To me, a key is to remove the force element that evokes a natural defense. When the sub feels safe, their guard and defense system is not employed. And that is a big point to D/s, eh? The Dom gets to a place where the sub feels safe to truly relinquish control. The teasing and patronizing are a lot more powerful and effective after the wetting, the 'accident' than they are before.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 3, 2022

Setting aside the D/s angle a moment, it has long been an issue for people to use bed pans or provide urine samples and most of the time it's said to be due to having been "strongly" potty-trained as children. Even without overbearing parents, we learn at a young age to only pee on a bathroom fixture and not in a lying down position, or away from such a fixture.

It's especially true for bed-wetters. They usually get yelled at or shamed because they not only messed the bedding, the mattress goes to hell in a handbasket unless they put a rubber cover on it.

Just realize that in trying this.. activity... the more you think about it the more difficult it gets. Kind of a feedback loop.

The same issue holds true for older dudes with any level of E. D.

Frustration mounts and ruins a lot of things and as with peeing lying down, a dude who can't raise his flag and please his partner gets flustered and after that it's a no-go... even with those costly little pills.



Sorry if this all isn't of much use, but my intent is to encourage people to relax about it.. Then it might happen.. It's just tough all around. But once you "break through" whatever's holding you back.. so to speak.. it'll be much easier.

Re: Wetting

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Feb 3, 2022

Such an easy, relaxed and undemanding approach that removes any "performance anxiety". 👍

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Feb 3, 2022

Every once in awhile a memory of my dad beating me with a hairbrush and slamming me down hard on the toilet seat resurfaces. I know I was a toddler and I've been told I'm having a false memory because no one can remember anything that happened at that young of an age. Bullshit. Traumatic memories don't show up on any timetable. When they're bad enough, they are easily retrievable. I remember the desperate fear and even the light fixture and mirror in that bathroom.

So, of course, some of the kinks we fantasize about and strive to bring to life do throw up more ingrained barriers than others do. I think *sometimes* bringing some of them to fruition may be more of an effort than it's worth. It can become super touchy to play with years and years of conditioned social niceties that even in the present are still strongly in place. OTH - breeching those barriers may seem exquisitely freeing for some.