cherilynn(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Feb 2, 2022
Hey there,
Welcome to the cage and to bdsm! You are going to have lots of fun! I identify as a submissive with slave tendencies. I don't call myself a slave because for me, slave is a title I earn. I consider myself submissive because in romantic relationships I give up control to the dominant partner. I do not now nor have I ever had the desire to be in control in romantic relationships. I do have limits, both of the soft and hard variety, that are very much the same as yours as far as humiliation and degradation go. Limits are important. They keep you safe, help deter the riffraff, and serve to let others know that you value yourself and your safety. Please don't ever buy into the idea that having limits means you are not a "true submissive". Good luck and stay safe out there! |
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Online now
Shaynna(dom female)
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2 years ago •
Feb 2, 2022
CSI wrote: I agree with all of the above, but have some questions. Is the pleasure all about you or would it be all about your dominant? I had a playmate who called himself submissive (when I was first starting out and thought I might be a domme), but if whatever I asked did not tickle his fancy, turn him on or get him off, he wouldn't participate. He was topping from the bottom, so I ended up calling him a sex toy. So I would say it depends on your intentions as to whether it is submission or just bottoming (sexual acts/scenes/receiving).
That reminds me of myself. I thought I was a sub because being humiliated and used gets me really horny but it turns out that I'm a switch who tends more to the dominant side. From my point of view, pure submissives have the need to please their partner, while I have the need to be pleased, even when I'm the one being humiliated, and so on. Sometimes we don't know ourselves well enough and also, from my own experience, there's much less information about switches so i thought I had to be a sub because I was on the receiving end and by then, it wasn't exciting for me the idea of doing it the other way around. Only after I started having some Domme fantasies and talking with several subs, Doms and switches did I realize what I truly seem to be. |
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cherilynn(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Feb 2, 2022
Interesting.
When I was new, I thought pleasing my partner was the goal. I have grown past that now. I learned in time that my job was not to please my partner but to simply obey and leave the rest up to them. I find this approach a lot less stressful Just a different point of view. YMMV |
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bearpig(dom male){Collared}
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2 years ago •
Feb 2, 2022
A Dom will respect the limits of there sub as the sub must respect the limits of his Dom/Domme.
Being a sub is just not giving his Dom/Domme pleasure in the bedroom that is just being a sex toy. The sub also pleases his Dom/Domme he Honors them as it gives the sub honor. He serves his Dom/Domme around the home making life a little easy for them. The sub himself gets pleasure by serving and by giving pleasure it is not the subs place to pleasure himself when giving pleasure to his Dom/Domme he should get his pleasure in knowing he is making his Dom/Domme feel pleasure. Giving pleasure is not only in the bedroom serving pleases and gives his Dom/Domme pleasure to. A sub should take pride in everything he does he should Honor his Dom/Domme but yet honor himself to. A good sub does not need to be told what to do he will just do it without being told. being a sub is not just giving pleasure or serving its giving of yourself trusting your Dom/Domme without Honor, Respect, and Trust you have know right being with that Dom/Domme. Your giving a gift to said Dom/Domme and they in return are giving you a gift. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Feb 2, 2022
Re: Being Submissive DawgHI wrote: I consider myself submissive as I enjoy being the receiver for various sexual acts such as pegging, bondage, face sitting etc. and enjoy giving sexual pleasure to my Domme. So am I truly submissive or do I just like being a receiver of certain aspects that can look like submission? You didn't mention whether you feel any need to provide any kind of service outside of various sexual acts. There are a significant number of people who enjoy being passive and submissive in sexual matters but have no desire to take it out of the bedroom. Don't be influenced by those who would tell you that you must turn your entire body and soul over to anyone else in order to be a "proper submissive".
Asking this question has netted you a few answers that reflect the responder's own beliefs but only you can define what it is you want out of any relationship - not just what you *want*, but what you're willing to give. Don't let other people lay out their own kinks in a way that suggests and hints that you must adhere to them as the measure of your own "success" as a potential partner. |
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harleyqt(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Feb 2, 2022
We all have limits. Your limits don't make you any less submissive than anyone else.
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Master Raf(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Feb 4, 2022
I ask specifically what the subs limits are. A good dom is sensitive to the sub and wants to honor her limits.
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harleyqt(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Feb 4, 2022
Master Raf wrote: I ask specifically what the subs limits are. A good dom is sensitive to the sub and wants to honor her limits.
Exactly 
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cherilynn(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Feb 7, 2022
Just wanted to apologise for the duplicate post ya'll. Troubles of posting from the phone...
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