Submissive male

Solace​(dom male) • Feb 20, 2022

I apologize again, your domina, but I'm afraid we never see eye to eye on this matter.

To elaborate on my stance and not to criticize your own...submissive is a fluid term. Especially within the community. It is common for the general consensus to worship the opinion "finding what submission is to you". In this sense they are a submissive because they declare them selves so and have started down the path of discovery.

To say that they are not submissive because they only want it in kinky ways is enforcing your viewpoints. This is not say I do not support you in enforcing this or finding this within the submissive you seek. More to say that I don't believe it's correct to take away what others identify as based on your own desires. If this remains an issue it is common for us dominates to remedy the issue by declaring we expect submission in bed and public. Or however one wishes.

my Domina​(dom female) • Feb 20, 2022

Sure

my Domina​(dom female) • Feb 20, 2022

I understand we all have different points of views but hope this post by someone else makes sense to this -
A large percentage of so-called submissive men are really just kinksters. Remove the sexual component and they disappear until next time they're horny. A true submissive is focused on service, obedience, and devotion all the time. It's simply in your nature to submit to the demands and whims of your Domme and put her needs and wants ahead of your own. The kinky stuff is nice, but the most important thing is her comfort and happiness. If you can make her day a little easier, that's all the reward you need. There's a perception that there is a shortage of dominant women, but actually the shortage is in real service-oriented submissives. Dommes often have to weed through hundreds of "do me" subs before finding a true sub who will put her needs ahead of satisfying his own kinks. Truly submissive men are valuable, rare, and in high demand.

Solace​(dom male) • Feb 20, 2022

That does makes sense your domina, my condolences about the number of men who dissappear until the next time they want sex. I lament that is also not what I myself call submission. Nor can I fully comprehend your struggles as I am a male dominant and lack your experience to fully comprehend the weight of your struggle.

I'll agree that from your perspective there is a shortage of true submissive men. However I would like for a moment to defend the submissive men here who struggle for options because there is huge discrepancy of proclaimed female Dommes to proclaimed male subs. Gentlemen, I am sorry for your struggle. You are valuable people and deserve to be valued.

At the risk digressing our models for being dominant are also different. It is not in my nature to seek submissives who put their wants and needs ahead of their own for me. It is my nature to take what I want either via respect, adoration, manipulation, or damned clever conversation. I express this simply show that there is a different mindset, not to weaken or strengthen your or mine own perspective. However if it helps you I have often felt a "on the other side of the glass" feeling about my methods and ethics of domination. It could be fair to say I do not represent the foundational opinion of domination.

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Feb 20, 2022

There's a lack of service-oriented submissives because it requires a mindset that appreciates a non-tangible reward. I'd go so far as to say you can't train a mindset like that. You can reinforce it via punishment but then you're adding punishment, and hence masochism, to the requirements, which breaks back into the kinkster territory. Finding someone who genuinely, without fear of punishment, and without desire for erotic reward, wants to be selfless to such an extent that they'd "put her needs and wants ahead of your own" is, in my opinion, gonna be rough for you, because there are very, very few people worth doing that for.

I'd also like to mention that while horny men are a blight upon the world and should be called out for it, some amount of understanding for those who do seek dominants as a sexual partner would open up your options a little. If at least to potentially find someone who would be comfortable dropping their sex needs when they got to know you and developed a desire for selfless devotion.

aerostar • Feb 21, 2022

That sounds like a good pair to be able to do what is told by the mistress in the end. A sub should be able to do what it is told unless he wants to be bratty and see what the punishment is.

Re: Submissive male

allan • Feb 21, 2022

I mean I’d definitely serve and do both

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Feb 21, 2022

Snipped for focus:
Words DO have real and set definitions - despite the current trend to leave everything open to the whim of each individual. I cannot grasp the concept that someone should be taken at face value on the basis of: "they ARE what THEY declare themselves to be."

Could someone please explain to me how it is that everyone gets to make their own determinations as to "who they are" yet ensure that the rest of us are able to reach any reliable conclusions as to the reality of any matter and what type of behavior or interactions we can expect when approaching others in what *we* believe to be in good faith?

Re: Submissive male

my Domina​(dom female) • Feb 21, 2022

Wdym?

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Feb 21, 2022

Snipped for focus:
Could you please elaborate on what you mean by taking what you want via "manipulation" and "damned clever conversation"? I'm finding it difficult to determine how that admission can be reconciled with what you also call respect and adoration. 🤷