Collars

Let people decide what they want to do in their own relationships. I don’t want to call anyone else out but there was a comment just recently about being pissed off about this thread because of people not placing the same importance on collars which you yourself agreed with.

But you just DID call the other woman out and then me as well by pointing out that I agreed with her. Attempted disingenuity makes me uncomfortable.

I didn’t want to call her out simply because her comment didn’t bother me. As I’ve said repeatedly, how others view collars makes no difference to me. How other people feel about what I wear makes no difference to me either. What I was pointing out was that you calling me out for vehemence while agreeing with that post reeks of hypocrisy. You keep claiming that newbies are insulting the traditionalists but I’ve seen none of that on this thread.

Extreme snip for brevity and focus:

You're always very vocal and vehement as though your word is the last that should be heard (much less considered). In YOUR world there may have been no standard or defined protocols but that does not mean that *no* one had them or adhered to them. You seem to believe that if you didn't experience something first hand that it absolutely and positively never existed - anywhere on the face of the earth.

I've been extremely careful to have never appropriated the "Old Guard" label in my descriptions of my own experiences and the folks and organized groups I've kept company with for over a quarter of century. I've used the term "traditionalist" - for lack of a better one - to express what once WERE uniformly accepted styles of presentation and protocol. I actually admire those early post WWII gay leathermen for their bravery and dedication to their chosen lifestyle and wouldn't stoop so low as to claim it as my own.

On the other hand, I've repeatedly seen - on this forum and in these blogs - those who go out of their way to sneer at and belittle those of us who dare mention our own experiences over the decades and then dare to tell us we never did have the ideals and behaviors we can personally speak of knowing on a *first hand basis*. So many are intent on demanding inclusiveness while deliberately badgering those of us whose own lifestyle experiences differ from their own. So many marginalize *us*yet angrily demand that they be unquestionably acknowledged as above reproach. The act of acknowledging differences isn't the issue. It's the sniping and denying that those who've been around more than two decades really DID mingle with a far different group than most here are accustomed to.

I find it very sad that the collar has lost almost all significance in this lifestyle.

And velcro collars...
Don't even get me started. A collar is sacred; an outward acknowledgment of love, devotion, and loyalty to a Master or Dom. There use to be great pride in wearing a Master or Dom's collar.

I'm offering my own thoughts on this - as someone who's been around a few years. Collars don't hold the same significance they did 20 or more years ago. They seem to be treated as a fashion accessory and I'm even seeing a trend of people "self-collaring". Not sure how *that* works and I'm not inclined to research it. At any rate wearing collars no longer seems to have the same impact they had when I first started out and your confusion is shared by many I think. Apparently you're going to need to ask every time you run into this situation.

I think self collaring is like putting a wedding ring on yourself ...and sometimes I think it's a play for attention. Just my two cents , not diminishing self love or self respect.