Seeking Advice: Sub Drop

...The performance that matters is how it’s dealt with.

This exactly and said much better then my bumbling.

Ultimately, subdrop occurs because of hormonal imbalances/receptor overloads, so how to prevent them or predict when they would occur is very individualistic. However, generally we know where it comes from and some things that can help.

Here is an article that explains sub-drop in deliberately over-simplied terms: https://medium.com/through-the-eye-of-the-prism/experiencing-sub-drop-53c6c8d3c6dc It also gives some tips for managing it when it occurs.

Here is another article throwing out some ideas for managing sub-drop: https://coffeeandkink.me/2017/10/23/subdrop/

Generally, I think these tips can work even if you're just feeling down.

Fuzzy blankets and cuddles can help

For your questions:
- what’s the first indicator for you that you’re gonna drop? Is it consistent from time to time?
You don't always know you're going to drop, but it is a good idea to be prepared for it if you have a particularly euphoric/emotionally intense experience. It won't necessarily be consistent as you won't always be able to quantify euphoria. You won't be able to say, oh, I am 113% happier than I've ever been, or today was 87% as enjoyable as yesterday. So, in that way it is tough. Just be aware of your feelings, especially around emotionally intense ("positive") situations.

- Whats your plan if you drop? (Especially if you’re coping alone.)
The articles above have some suggestions and others can do so as well. Personally, if a sub of mine drops, aftercare and a lot of communication is the way to go, and I may suggest doing certain things and keep checking in. It is very individualistic. I don't have a set of very specific things I always do. Generally there is a direction you want to go into, but specifically activities may vary somewhat.

- Any must-haves for the care kit? (Please, tell me to buy more squishmallows.)
If squishmallows make you happy and calm you down and get you out of your head, then yes, buy more squishmallows. Other ideas for what to have in a care kit are at the above links.

Hope that helps.

I always plan FOR drop after a session, whether it’s in person or a planned video call.
These are the basics of what I do
- make sure the house is spotless prior so that I can rest afterwards
- have nutritious food in the fridge for a few days
- wine and chocolate available
- bubble bath, moisturiser and soft pjs
- have a book or Netflix series lined up
- playlist from my Master or just music we have used when we are together
- candles
- we take pictures when we are together. I edit these and send them to my Master. It helps me remember and process what may be unclear due to sub space
- writing to Him, recounting our time
- He ensures He calls, as often as needed
- We message more frequently
- He reminds me it’s normal and will pass
- He makes sure I take care of any bruising etc
- Our established protocols and rituals ensure I meditate, do some yoga and train hard and that it’s not skipped even if I feel rough

Suicidal ideation is worrying, it can happen but I think exploring the trigger for it, identifying any persistent thoughts pattens and working through them in order that you don’t drop so hard on future is required. Drop is normal but I’d argue that suicidal ideation must be avoided if at all possible. You’ve done the right thing reaching out and talking about it. Be kind to yourself, it will pass.

No offence but if perhaps you stopped Dom bashing and concentrated on helping her understand what she can use to help herself it might be more helpful and enable her preparations for subdrop in the future ?