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Kneeling next to Dom’s feet at restaurants...

I'mME
2 years ago • Jul 16, 2022
I'mME • Jul 16, 2022
Sir Don wrote:
Just my opinion
I don't think society as a whole would understand the meaning behind this. It would be looked down upon. With the way the world is today most would view it as demeaning and humiliating to treat another person that way . There are places in bdsm world where that could happen without questions.

Again my opinion
Sir Don


Okay, by your own words, you think everyone outside of kink is holier than thou people? Before I ever found the ''community, and I use that word loosely'' I did not judge people, you may have caught me staring sometimes, or asking questions. Why, because I am curious and that believed it or not, is how kids used to learn. By asking questions.
To give society all that power or think they are all the same, is exactly what people do to kinksters.

I do not like to be labeled, it's suffocating to me, sub, Dom, master, top, bottom, .

What are you, how do you identify, what's your kinks [from complete stranger] I find this behavior to be very off putting and it turns me off.
I don't do pick up play, or any other one and done play.

So it's not them or us, it's about me and mine.
I'mME
2 years ago • Jul 16, 2022
I'mME • Jul 16, 2022
SubtleHush wrote:
I3lush​(sub female)
"my question is does anyone themselves or know anyone who do this or at least TRYING to? Is this common? Would this be considered inappropriate? ( I can see how) I want to hear opinions...."
........................................
More than frowned upon.

A long-time tenet in the lifestyle is SSC. (safe, sane, and (informed) consent) Any time you see people inforcing their believes, interests, or kinks onto a non-consenting public you have violated this tenet. There are people who look down on the vanilla world and like to rattle them. I find it immature and detrimental.

For some, it's performance art for the purpose of shock and awe. There was a kinky restaurant in NYC many years ago. It attracted a lot of kinky folks and now and then some of them would show off. One guy loved to stand his s type in the middle of the room and slap her across the face until it looked like she was going to pass out. Cool, fun, interesting? Nope.

This takes more forms than slapping. Pick a fantasy or porn video and you will find people who think THAT is what this is about. Naked women bent over for others to touch or poke. Women sitting naked in cars on the highway while the driver fingers them.

And while you can do whatever you want in your relationship and call it Ds Ms or kink. The minute you impose it on others without their consent, you are (in my opinion) mostly interested in shock and awe. You do nothing to benefit the lifestyle and while some will argue about mainstreaming kink, they are full of shit. This type of thing pushes us further back.

I ran a very successful munch about 10 years ago. The restaurant knew what we were about, but we were welcomed there because to the regular restaurant attendees we seemed like a large group of diners. We had a little area away from others and as long as people weren't loud they could talk about whatever they wanted.

I was handing it off to another couple as I had work things I needed to do. It was on that last night when they were taking over that a crossdresser showed in up his "Hot Maid" black silk outfit and wig. He strode through the place and made many trips to the bar just looking around to see who was looking at him.

5 people at my munch got up and left immediately. I knew this person and knew that this was showing off and he got off on upsetting the vanillas. (He has given classes on this.)

I had just given control to the couple who did nothing about it. After years of a successful arrangement with the restaurant, the group was asked to never come back.
When you put yourself out there and indulge your kneeling or slapping or whatever it is that can not be ignored by others you are violating the rights of others to consent. And like it or not public displays like ours do come with that caveat.

I can't speak for European venues, but in the states, I don't know one restaurant that would allow kneeling at the table in the public areas. And I do know that the group I handed off and quiet a few others have short life spans and typically after a few gatherings they are told to find another place.

But take out BDSM and all its directions. What if an Orthodox Jewish man came in and stood in the middle of your dinner standing, praying in full garb? What if he was so loud or distracting that you had to stop your conversation?

Or a Christian who had to say grace before eating and again was so loud that you couldn't enjoy your meal?

Would it matter if you were an atheist?
........................................
We consistently have a collection of people attracted to things that shock the public. It's for attention or to rebel against what they see as a normal society. In private, nobody cares. But they don't stay private. They want, need, even depend on that shock and awe.

When I see people doing this outward stuff. Or those who show up with a single tale worn as a belt. or behave in protocol-oriented ways that are obvious, I always wonder how brittle is their dynamic that they can't find more appropriate ways of enforcing their power exchange.

I'm sure plenty will disagree. I'm good with that. But you have to remember, that guy who showed up in a maids costume cared nothing about the other attendees of that munch. He didn't care if they had sensitive jobs, custody battles, and divorces underway. He only cared about himself. I call that behavior bullying. A person does whatever they want and leave others to deal with the aftermath or make them stop. And that is doing a lot of harm.

H*


Great, detailed response. I would have gotten up and left the restaurant where the self-prescribed Dom thought slapping their sub repeatedly just for the amusement of themselves, was Dom behavior.
I'mME
2 years ago • Jul 16, 2022
I'mME • Jul 16, 2022
AngelAtHisMercy wrote:
I have given more thought to this and have realized that a lot of restaurants do not allow this (most likely) due to hygiene purposes and fire safety laws. I was a waitress for a while and can tell you i would have been upset to find a kneeling slave in my way as i was hurrying to get from table to table. If one were to "catch" something from the floor not being well cleaned or whatever, the restaurant also opens itself up to lawsuits. Just my opinion.


I also have waitressed. I did not even think about someone kneeling being a detriment to me because wait staff are doing a job and quite often moving at a high rate of speed.
Excellent point.
Lovedove​(sub female)
2 years ago • Jul 18, 2022
Lovedove​(sub female) • Jul 18, 2022
Nope. NEVER. I don't disrespect others just for a selfish purpose. I don't like people who do outright public play in plain view of people who can't/don't consent to a scene no matter if it's nonsexual.

I don't like people making out in front of me. I don't like people fondling each other in front of me in a public spot i.e the bus, train, doctor's office,ect. I believe there's a time and place for things.

I am a lifestyle slave. But my Owner is not in need to show off his Dominance. He's more than capable to take care of my needs and knows he can litterly do whatever he wants to me and his other slave. So he never needs to put on a show in public ever to make a point.

Whenever I see people doing public scenes like kneeling in public, leashes and collars in vanilla stores, ect I think people are new, need to be center of attention or just plain immature.
moll​(other female){owned slav}
2 years ago • Jul 18, 2022
I haven't read any of the replies, but I have to say that if I walked into a restaurant and saw a woman on the floor my first thought would be to wonder if she needed medical assistance and the second would be to call the health department.

I've sat on the floor, at my Master's feet, and eaten meals....from dishes of course, but I know the condition of the floor.

Also, by doing what she did...does...forces other people to become a part of her dynamic without consent just like a person who allows their child to act out in a public place forces all around to become a part of that families drama.

It's just wrong.
ZackFrak
2 years ago • Aug 15, 2022
ZackFrak • Aug 15, 2022
It's insanely inappropriate and I doubt the story about the high-end restaurant that allows such nonsense. You don't involve the general public in your kinks.
trixietrixster​(sub female)
2 years ago • Aug 15, 2022
Doing something like this is akin to going shopping and being handcuffed to the cart ... what do you say to an 8 year old who asks, "Mommy, why is she not able to move her hands", or something to that effect. Same thing with a restuarant, amusement park, or anything else. When we engage in behavior that "innocents" didn't agree to, we are breaking the principle law of consent ...
Strongly Worded​(dom male)
2 years ago • Aug 15, 2022
Strongly Worded​(dom male) • Aug 15, 2022
So oddly, I've actually played with this dynamic a bit. I would also say that we came to a conclusion that in a restaurant setting, people are paying for the atmosphere and I didn't think it appropriate to alter that for 'our' unique exchange.

So what we did do was use a wheelchair. She would kneel in the chair (thus be kneeling for the entire supper) and was also collared and chained around the torso to the back of it. (There was also some rope work around the tits...). The blanket covered her lap and legs. We'd simply ask for a chair to be removed at the table and have a table near a corner. Of the two occasions we did this, not a single word or really much of a look. There's more to this play, but the gist of the question above was such.

Hope that helps.

"Live your life, not your lifestyle..."
Muffin
2 years ago • Aug 15, 2022

Consent is everything

Muffin • Aug 15, 2022
Consent and safety is everything. The consent of the other customers and the consent of the employees are things that should be considered. You don't know their life experiences and whether a conspicuous display will have a negative effect on them. They don't know if what is happening is consensual or if you are unsafe and need help. If the venue is BDSM friendly and the patrons coming there know that before hand that is one thing, if the play is taking place in a private room and the employees are aware BEFORE serving what will be happening and they are given a choice about it then sure its fine. Because then everyone involved (directly and indirectly) are consenting and safe.