Re-evaluation

Re-evaluation

critthatch​(sub female) • Aug 10, 2022

I am currently figuring a lot of issues out and that includes my reason for wanting to explore submission.

I am feeling quite alone at the moment as my BDSM relationship has become very fractured.

I felt that I wasn't getting my emotional needs met.

Is that something I should be looking for or not?

Thanks

Moonlighter​(dom male) • Aug 10, 2022

Short answer, Yes

Being submissive or dominant is about meeting ones emotional and physical needs, it is like any other vanilla relationship ... we just throw whips and chains in.

A relationship can only survive long term if both parties are happy that their needs are being met and it is the responsibility of each party to meet those needs.

An example, my partner and I are responsible for our own happiness, now that happiness does extend to the other person, I make her happy and Vice Versa but it is not HER responsibility to make me happy all the time, she can't, and its unfair to expect her to.

being submissive to someone doesn't entail becoming an unthinking unfeeling drone. More often than not such things are actually quite dull, you have to want to submit to your respective Dom(me). and if they aren't meeting your needs and aren't willing to discuss with you why ... well I'd say you have your answer.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Aug 10, 2022

If your question is whether or not you should be looking to get your emotional needs met then I think most people would agree that the answer is Yes. It is healthier, and certainly desirable, to be more emotionally happy than not.
If you're wondering whether or not you should try to have these needs met through BDSM specifically, then that is a much more complicated question and probably one that only you can answer for yourself.

Sportsgirl55​(sub female) • Aug 10, 2022

Absolutely.... YES!!!!

In my opinion, the needs you have in any relationship should be met, vanilla, BDSM OR a combo of both. I know for me, my relationships are a mixture of vanilla and BDSM... I am submissive, sure, but I am not always in a submissive headspace, and I need a Domme who understands and can handle that.

If all your needs... Physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual are not being met, than 1 of 2 things needs to happen.... 1) you renegotiate the parameters of your current BDSM relationship, if you thing the person you are with can meet all your needs or 2) you find someone who fulfills your needs in all the ways you need.

I always advise trying to fix a relationship before give ng up on it completely, but only you know exactly where things stand and if they can or will change.

Hope you find what you need!!