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Does everyone know the why behind their kinks?

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕}
2 years ago • Sep 3, 2022
Ha! I delbed so deep into the "why" that I wrote 9 chapters of a (hope to be) book all about it!

@Talion,

Florentine floggers are a HELL of a workout for you! That's awesome!

I've never experienced flogging but would love to! Just need the right partner.
I'mME
2 years ago • Sep 3, 2022
I'mME • Sep 3, 2022
ButterfliesAndCuffs wrote:
No I don’t try to think too much about why I like the kinks that I do. I know some people are very interested in the reasons they enjoy certain kinks but it just doesn’t matter to me. Thinking too much about the why seemed like trying to convince myself it’s wrong instead of just embracing it.


B&C,

I think a lot, I try to never use the phrase over thinking because there is no such thing.
However when it comes to things of kinky, dirty [hmmm], taboo things, I honestly can say I don't give any of it any of my mind, lmao. Just who I may do these things with is the important piece on which I give my thoughts to.
I'mME
2 years ago • Sep 3, 2022
I'mME • Sep 3, 2022
aceaceace wrote:
It's definitely something I don't think about, mainly because that's not a can of worms I'm ready to open.

There's just nearly not enough good and competent therapist for all that shit.


Hunh?

Why would our kinks or fetishes [things we enjoy] signal a need a therapist?
Sasa​(dom female)
2 years ago • Sep 3, 2022
Sasa​(dom female) • Sep 3, 2022
It took me a long time to find out, but yes I know it. Something from my very early childhood was planted inside of me and invited friends over the years to complete it, lol. For me, it was important to understand and know the beginning.
Sasa​(dom female)
2 years ago • Sep 3, 2022
Sasa​(dom female) • Sep 3, 2022
I'mME wrote:
aceaceace wrote:
It's definitely something I don't think about, mainly because that's not a can of worms I'm ready to open.

There's just nearly not enough good and competent therapist for all that shit.


Hunh?

Why would our kinks or fetishes [things we enjoy] signal a need a therapist?


Because we sexualize also things we haven't asked for as kids or young adults and it is fine to work through things with a therapist. I agree that there are not many good ones and for sure even less who are kink friendly
I'mME
2 years ago • Sep 3, 2022
I'mME • Sep 3, 2022
Sasa wrote:
I'mME wrote:
aceaceace wrote:
It's definitely something I don't think about, mainly because that's not a can of worms I'm ready to open.

There's just nearly not enough good and competent therapist for all that shit.


Hunh?

Why would our kinks or fetishes [things we enjoy] signal a need a therapist?


Because we sexualize also things we haven't asked for as kids or young adults and it is fine to work through things with a therapist. I agree that there are not many good ones and for sure even less who are kink friendly


Sasa,

I know about that part and am in agreement for people to seek therapists out for whatever they think they need sorting out.

I read that statement aas them saying if everybody unpacked their kinks and sorted them out, we would all need therapy.
I do not stand on that notion in agreement.
aceaceace​(sub female)
2 years ago • Sep 3, 2022
aceaceace​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2022
I'mME wrote:
aceaceace wrote:
It's definitely something I don't think about, mainly because that's not a can of worms I'm ready to open.

There's just nearly not enough good and competent therapist for all that shit.


Hunh?

Why would our kinks or fetishes [things we enjoy] signal a need a therapist?



I'm only speaking for myself.
I never speak for anyone else and the question was posed as a question about the singular person answering it.

You may not need therapy to explore the why's of your kinks and I'm happy for you.

I do.
Notely
2 years ago • Sep 4, 2022
Notely • Sep 4, 2022
Behind it all

More of the passion, an art with balance in the dynamic, sharing it with the right soul that understands on the same level but just more than the kink but the love and bond.
Lord_Zephyr
2 years ago • Sep 4, 2022
Lord_Zephyr • Sep 4, 2022
I do know the "why's" of my kinks and I am rather shocked that others do not. For me, BDSM is an simply an expression. My love language (trite as that sounds) It is a cadre of intense expressions of love, trust, responsibility (as a Dom), spiritual elevation and bringing the complexities of all it focus in a manner beyond words and coupled with pure energetic creation.
LongerJohnny​(dom male)
2 years ago • Sep 4, 2022
LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Sep 4, 2022
I think that if one does not already understand the "why behind their kinks" then the importance of learning depends on what their goal is in gaining that knowledge. Is it merely curiosity or do they hope to learn something about themself that goes beyond that? Once they've satisfied their curiosity how likely is it that they will ever be able to look at their kinks the same way again, and is that more or less important than knowing?

I don't know why I kink the way I do, it's just what I do. I recognize that some of my kinks are more common than others, some less so, there are those that are perhaps a bit unpalatable, and those that are even a bit taboo. But I have no idea why I enjoy them, and I have no interest at looking at them any more closely than that because I already enjoy them. What further explanation is necessary?

I don't know why my favorite food is Mexican either but I don't need to know because it's yummy!