Dom vetting - why or why not?

I think, ultimately, this is more of a statement about the low-efficiency of the online communities. Whatever are the reasons behind that, whatever is the analysis, the fact stands that for the time spent, the outcome is slim. A question that follows is what to do. Shall we seek better means to create online communities? Shall we simply focus on IRL meetings, clubs, and to limit the role of online communities. That is the question.

In someoccurances that I've found/heard/witnessed...
The chosen person to vet for another... ended up being a bad choice. Many inexperienced individuals getting involved with someone who offers or immediately trusting and asking someone to help them.. then getting offered to vet for them... unfortunately led to said vetter being an asshole, or being interested in the one they are vetting for... thereby (purposely or by accident) not allowing anyone to get too close.
I've had some "vet" ask for very personal information online... like which city I live in and where is my work located, or immediately demanding I give out my personal phone number or a picture, or I can't talk to someone...even as friends.
Which in one situation particularly... ihad been conversing with the sub in chat rooms and we agreed to talk in message about their dog since they had to leave chat. Told me that they had someone vetting everyone, but I should be fine. Agreed to it because even friendships can be harmful to some... so it's good to be careful depending.
Had the guy message me saying he was vetting for _____ and that I had to give him my cellphone number if I was going to be allowed to message them on cage... I explained we just talked, agreed to contact on cage about her dog and I had no intensions of being her Dom.
He still demanded I give my cell.
I didn't, deleted everything from the person and decided it wasn't a good idea to be involved with that person. I did try to message her to let her know, but it was turned off... never saw her in chat again.

So please be careful about who u choose.
A vet is always a good idea if the vetting individual/s can truly be trusted to have ur best interests in mind.

[ quote="LongerJohnny"]
- You don't line up a bunch of potential "protectors" and have them audition for the role. You don't find one by looking on LinkedIn. IF there is someone that you already know and trust - and ONLY IF you already know and trust them - then consider asking them.

The vettees! LMAO

For me, it is simple and obvious, BUT I know for others it may not be the same, or liked or agreed with... to each their own.

For ME, I vet!!! NO ONE else should VET for me, plain and simple! If I am vetting a potential, I would hope damn well they are vetting me! If I am or they are new, it doesn't matter, vetting should still be done. Open, honest communication. Vetting is synonymous to "due diligence". If you don't know what due diligence is with respect to looking/finding a compatible partner? Then you ought to do a WHOLE lot more research and learning in the lifestyle!!

Some people, both experienced and new, need/want a protector. A protector does not do YOUR vetting, they are only the middle man to, as the title says, "protect" you. What does that entail? That's up to the protector and protected. I have personally been in a place where I felt I need a protector because I wasn't in a good place, felt that I was vulnerable and may not make good decisions for myself... When I asked for "protection", I was asking help to weed out any possible predator or what have you, to ensure my safety, but nothing was set in stone. My protectors ONLY motive or responsibility was to PROTECT me (both from myself and/or others). AGAIN, the protector I chose I KNEW WELL, trusted and had a strong fundamental friendship with, as they did me!

A protector is NOT a vetter/or (sp?) And shouldn't, nor anyone else, VET on behalf of another ... I personally don't agree with to VET or VETTING being changed to a noun!

We are ALL responsible for our choices! Whether they are informed or not, they're our choice in the end.... That is accountability which is a whole other topic that I won't get into.

Great discussion. I am a newbie so I have a Protector (someone I trust a lot) so I don’t get in over my head, which would be way to easy to do given how much I don’t know. My Protector doesn’t talk to the men I am interacting with personally, BTW, (I think that would be a bit much), I just describe them (no names) and he advises me on what to ask and red flags to look for. I would think a sub more experienced in this lifestyle wouldn’t need a Protector as much. But I think the arrangement I have is something any newbie could benefit from — provided all caveats about who to trust mentioned above are observed.)

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Hi,
You stated that you are still relatively still new. I'm blunt, not trying to be a smart ass. Why do you not seek out more information so that you can get a solid base knowledge. Your protector tells you of red flags when you describe what I guess are bits of the conversation, things people are asking you or telling you.

You NEED TO develop that voice inside that rings your red flag bell inside your head.
I'm guess I am curious about not seeking out information on your own. I am a stubborn beast who loves to read, history or things up to now.
Lol, I am aware that not everyone is not a nerd like me.