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What it's like for Dommes

MJoanne​(dom female)
3 months ago • Nov 3, 2022
MJoanne​(dom female) • Nov 3, 2022
What triggers me is , when some Dom men have the current need to submit just because they saw something on your page or profile
Having to justify myself as a Domme... I stopped listening to all these opinions and stuck to what I know best. I mean in this lifestyle, we are always learning...

Simply wants to 'experiment ' 'i want to know what it feels like" kinda vibe...

The couples that approach you... " You should do this to my boyfriend..he likes it" then later it turns out to be a huge issue I didn't need

Sending dick pics without even asking if I needed to see them or not then says... "What will you do with this!!?" What?

I have had subs come at me when they are in their chastity cage that they put on themselves, then make it my responsibility to release the, when I say no, they throw tantrums and what's worse I had someone throw money at me... It felt so degrading you know....

Has anyone experienced the phrase" what would you do to me if I were there with you?" I mean, really?

It is indeed hard... Finding a Sub you can relate to, play with, loose both yourselves in play and in the moment is rather difficult. It's that small number that ruins it for others who are looking for Dommes.
Steellover​(sub male)
3 months ago • Nov 4, 2022
Steellover​(sub male) • Nov 4, 2022
As a sub, I hear this a lot, and it is partly for this reason that I no longer contact potential dommes online at all, lest I be lumped in with this kind of thing. I know that when I was a noobie, many years ago, and was overwhelmed with these powerful feelings, maybe there was a time or two early on that I did probably come off as, well, a bit desperate and/or needy (though I am proud to say I never sent a dick pic!) and for that I do have some regret.
I'mME
2 months ago • Nov 12, 2022
I'mME • Nov 12, 2022
@Steellover

Hi,

To quit contacting someone you feel you may be compatible with, will net you zero.

Any Dom worth their salt, provided you wrote a well intentioned message and were not engaging in all the things that have been mentioned on this forum would most likely consider having a conversation with you.
Oceanic​(dom female){NotLooking}
2 months ago • Nov 18, 2022
MJoanne wrote:
What triggers me is , when some Dom men have the current need to submit just because they saw something on your page or profile
Having to justify myself as a Domme... I stopped listening to all these opinions and stuck to what I know best. I mean in this lifestyle, we are always learning...

Simply wants to 'experiment ' 'i want to know what it feels like" kinda vibe...

The couples that approach you... " You should do this to my boyfriend..he likes it" then later it turns out to be a huge issue I didn't need

Sending dick pics without even asking if I needed to see them or not then says... "What will you do with this!!?" What?

I have had subs come at me when they are in their chastity cage that they put on themselves, then make it my responsibility to release the, when I say no, they throw tantrums and what's worse I had someone throw money at me... It felt so degrading you know....

Has anyone experienced the phrase" what would you do to me if I were there with you?" I mean, really?

It is indeed hard... Finding a Sub you can relate to, play with, loose both yourselves in play and in the moment is rather difficult. It's that small number that ruins it for others who are looking for Dommes.


Yup! Yup to all of that lol. I gave up on this site a while ago due to all the negative experiences I've had (hence my currently blank profile) and have since found some good play partners irl.. but not before wanting to pull my hair out because of the way most straight cis men communicate, here and on dating apps. Someone else here said they send these lewd messages/photos because they selfishly assume the Domme wants the same thing they do, simply by virtue of being a Domme. It's immature and self-centered, and they have no idea. I'm sure these assholes have sent the same messages to every Domme they could find, and don't understand why the Dommes get angry or don't respond. The anonymity provided by spaces like this gets abused by people who may not normally say these disgusting things to women irl, and emboldens them to be as gross as they want.. because hey, this is a kink site, right?

*sigh*

Idiots.
Oceanic​(dom female){NotLooking}
2 months ago • Nov 18, 2022
Steellover wrote:
As a sub, I hear this a lot, and it is partly for this reason that I no longer contact potential dommes online at all, lest I be lumped in with this kind of thing. I know that when I was a noobie, many years ago, and was overwhelmed with these powerful feelings, maybe there was a time or two early on that I did probably come off as, well, a bit desperate and/or needy (though I am proud to say I never sent a dick pic!) and for that I do have some regret.


I would advise you to not let your early mistakes, or the mistakes of other subs get in the way of you reaching out to Dommes who seem interesting/appealing to you. You've read this thread, you know what we don't like. Just don't be gross and you're good lol. We do actually want to hear from subs, we just don't want to be harassed and grossed out by them.
AsPetrichorr​(switch female){not lookin}
2 months ago • Nov 19, 2022
back in a day I was getting upset by things alike that and sometimes stressed but I had to learn how to be more relaxed and give zero emotion to that,just let it go and it made quite a difference in my life. You know I just ignore all messages which means I don't get upset, or even waste my energy on it as it clearly says under my Nic that '' I AM NOT LOOKING'', however I have received few funny ones so I keep it for amusement of myself.
I read unless its a funny one just to lift my moods up. By saying this I mean I don't waste my energy on them especially on getting frustrated about it.