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Solace​(dom male)
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
Solace​(dom male) • Feb 17, 2023
You're reply is a meager attempt at witticism that does not truly reflect why ladies do not subscribe. They don't because they can already message whoever they want, because men are paying for that. Except for distinct cases, its foolish for ladies to pay for a service that is 95% free to them (perhaps 5% of active men are unsubscribed). You are quite right though, paying for a monthly subscription for a vaguely meaningful connection to someone very far away is a rather "No thank you" deal. Except that for any sort of meaningful attention men have to do it. It isn't a choice. Often the honor of paying for that service is to be ignored or ridiculed for dozens or hundreds of messages for not being just right as men try to balance the myriad types of ladies and be generically complained about. I'm not complaining it, or crying about a man tax, its just the way it is and it won't change without a serious culture shift in how women approach dating. What I am doing is ridiculing your misandrist view that men are protected or privileged for paying for your right and platform to complain about men. Its a very privileged thing your doing.

Whether I am subscribed or not has no bearing on the relevancy of my statements. However as it seems particularly important to you, I have been subscribed for perhaps 80% of my time on this platform, breaks existing only for loyalty to connections I've formed. I am not currently premium do to a billing issue I am resolving, though its low on the to do list.
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕}
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
....some of us ladies just can't afford it.

...some of us ladies have personal reasons as to why they choose not to get a subscription.

But on *THIS* website, you don't need to have a membership in order to message someone (so long as one person has a membership). So, gentleman, if you have a basic membership, you can message someone who has premium.

I have also used a third party as a "postman" or sorts, forwarding mail between me and another basic member. I've don't the same to others when I had been gifted a membership.

I've also developed many friendships through their blogs. You don't HAVE to have premium membership to get to know someone....

...If your intentions are honorable.
Solace​(dom male)
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
Solace​(dom male) • Feb 17, 2023
SirsBabyDoll,

You are absolutely correct. Some ladies can't afford it, they may have personal reasons as to why they may not subscribe, the basic package is all thats needed to message someone here and you can develop relationships through blogs or forums you don't "HAVE" to pay to communicate. The same is true for all men, the only difference being that ladies have the ability to have their qualms about the service and still use it.

However, its without a doubt extremely beneficial for men. If a man is here with any intention to form a relationship outside of the Cage it does not make sense to use this platform for free. I believe it is against terms of service to reveal personal contact information anywhere on this site except maybe private messages which at least one member of the conversation must be paying for. That's intentional, its how this site gets a significant portion of its funding. By ratio, the vast majority of women on this site are not subscribed or have been gifted a subscription, so if a man wishes to "Shoot his shot" for a lady he will statistically need a subscription to get her number even if he's charmed her on blogs or forums. Which by the way is a terrible way to woo a woman. Initial friendly passes are wonderful but romantic inclines and even rejection is not a pleasure to made immemorial and public in forums or blogs. Nor do I suspect ladies want their blogs flooded with romantic suitors, nor do many of the ladies who come here frequently blog or post to forums. Quite a number of profiles appear here for a brief blink of a few days or a week only to disappear because they've either found a suitor or have been frightened away by the depths of the lifestyle.

It is statistically in every way, shape or form beneficial and even the only way for a man to use this website to find relationships in the romantic sense. If you're just here to blog and be apart of the community, absolutely use it free. Though I speculate if that majority of users who came here simply for relationships dissipated or switched to free blog users, the cage would not be able to maintain itself as it is now. There would either be financial changes or a reduction in services.

I highly recommend you keep your "postman" method under the table (off the public forum or blogs). I cannot be certain, but I do not believe the owners or mods will view it favorably.
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕}
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
Speaking for myself, I'd love to be able to find a Dom, HOWEVER, I want to be seen for the whole of me, not just because I have a hole. For me, that means getting to know me through conversations publicly. I think of it as behaving as you would at a munch. You wouldn't be flashing your dick pics at the table but rather engaging in discourse about your respective views and philosophy in regards to kink.

Are private conversations important? Absolutely! But being able to engage in conversation publicly is as well. It also builds a basis of familiarity which makes having those private conversations easier. It ALSO allows people to see how you behave, socially, so that when overtures ARE made, it's less "scary". (I don't know if I explained that clearly.).

One of the BIGGEST challenges that I hear from men is the "cold contact" first message. Interacting in blogs and forums nullifies that challenge.
Solace​(dom male)
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
Solace​(dom male) • Feb 17, 2023
I whole heartedly agree. Public interactions are a wonderful and safe way to get to know someone. As to their viability here through forums and blogs...I'll remain skeptical that it works for the majority of people as I don't see or document the frequency of all members, their posts, and the viability of their content to form relations. (Some content is simply not intended or much more difficult for friendship or romantic overtures.)

I will return though and iterate again that men as a singular entity are the lion share of funding for the use of this site to take such relationships off platform and it is not a honor, privilege, or specially protected role over others.
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕}
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
Solace wrote:


I will return though and iterate again that men as a singular entity are the lion share of funding for the use of this site to take such relationships off platform and it is not a honor, privilege, or specially protected role over others.


I'm not sure I'm following your thought-jumps here. Would you mind reiterating it for me?
Solace​(dom male)
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
Solace​(dom male) • Feb 17, 2023
Of course, If I am unclear again I offer my sincere apologies. My original reply was due to a post by a lovely user reticent, who made claims that companies were protecting profits and and men who paid for their services:

"These sites are out to protect their target/paid membership base - which is men. We don't rate when it comes to speaking up for ourselves or trying to protect other women/spread the word about predators in our midst. " ---reticent

Other particulars about her post stated she was speaking up against misogyny to which I felt obliged to inform her of the misandry inherent in her post suggesting men get particular protections and by extension privileges. I have in no uncertain terms painted her view with the irony and the privileges she does have for her gender by operating on this site for free, largely enjoying the benefits of a paid membership without subscription, and then complaining about men generically in a space their money funds the operation of. I undermine the idea that men are protected or privileged by pointing out that men largely fund this space through predatory finance practices and culture driven necessity that is fundamental to online relationship platforms. A very real life parallel to make what I am saying concrete would be clubs and bars, which ladies get into for free and then often receive expensive drinks for free from the men who have to pay for entry and over the priced drinks they share as a price for conversation.

Hence why I iterate, it is not a privilege or honor to pay for a service others use for free. Its financially predatory and something men live with and expect. If there are special protections, which is highly unlikely, it is a service any lady could enjoy by paying for it. Which the majority of ladies do not because there isn't any special protections, and they get the service for free by the nature of websites rules. Rules that would not be predatory towards men would be rules that required both user to be premium to message, but I strongly suspect the majority of women or men desire that outcome.

If I am unclear again, I apologize. I am perhaps not the best person to speak of these things with you unless there is a specific question you like addressed.
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕}
1 year ago • Feb 17, 2023
I saw her post and I personally disagree with her assumption that *this* site (I'm not on any others so can only speak about here) protects men over women.

The assumption being that "by disallowing the sharing of screenshots, it's protecting the men to the detriment of women." Is false.

Firstly, the rule applies to EVERYONE. NO ONE can share screenshots, for multiple reasons.

Secondly, it is WELL KNOWN that subs talk to each other. When a submissive (male or female) receives a foul, degrading, nasty, gross, predatory, abusive, or asinine message from someone and posts a blog describing how that message is disagreeable to THEM and WHY (that's the important key here since everyone is different), us subs race off to message that person to ask for the details. Admin knows this. Why is it allowed?

Because it's not public shaming.

Let's say I receive a message that I consider degrading. I blog about it (probably laughing) and put into words WHY I consider it degrading. Messages come in asking for the "Who". Usually, it's because that person agrees with my thoughts.

While it's never happened to me that I've received a message asking for the Who because they DISAGREE and are looking for that sort of dynamic, I would be happy to provide that information as well.

It leaves the choice up to the person doing the asking. CHOICE....it matters.

I've also seen the dark side of blogs. I've seen or been the victim of bullying. I've seen people write blogs and not spoken the whole truth. I'm not innocent either. No one is.

In the past, I've written blogs aimed at one person or another and they have written rebuttals. The end result has been division on the site, friendships stressed or broken, and everyone is taking sides without knowing the whole truth.

....without knowing the whole truth. That's kind of important and is not something that can be known simply from a screenshot.

Submissives can be JUST as abusive, nasty, and predatory. They too can be "insta-subs", and yet, I've only seen submissives (myself included) writing blogs bitching about the "insta-Doms".

The public sharing of screenshots, NY ANYONE, is public shaming and is considered abuse.

In the kink community, pillories are only to be used consensually.