Drawing the line for Taboos

Bunnie • Nov 24, 2022

“Prohibited or restricted by social custom.”

Technically, as far as mainstream vanilla is concerned, our whole way of life is taboo. Drawing the line for taboos is a very individual, personal thing based on the story and experiences of your life, beliefs, values and morals. And perhaps there’s a possibility they may even shift over time when you find yourself in a safe, committed relationship dynamic. It really is simply a set of limits.

missusK​(sub female) • Nov 25, 2022

This is exactly why I'm always so hesitant of people who have no limits written in their profiles, or simply state, "my limits are my subs", or "I do what I'm told."
You're waiting for a long line of heartache, confusion, and sometimes embarrassment if you don't do your research and set limits accordingly.

Also, I believe that we teach others how we want to be treated. If we don't know our limits, there are others who certainly won't respect them.

Be firm with what you want, and what you don't. If you don't know, then say that too, but never ever pretend or go along with something that makes you uncomfortable becasue you're a sub, or any other reason.

Here's a great site with plenty of info on limits and where to research kinks you're unsure of.

https://submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships,%20safety,%20personalgrowth,%20fundamentals/series/series-limits

Good luck.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 25, 2022

My boundaries have changed as I have gotten older.
Basically now- I dont do anything where the other parties cannot give explicit consent.

Everything else is open.

Re: Drawing the line for Taboos

I'mME • Mar 18, 2023

I'm not clear on what you are relaying here
You are not family to the person with whom you were having the conversation. Do you mean they wanted to role play that y'all were family? Incest role play?

I'm not sure why you would Want to tell them they need help?

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 18, 2023

Taboos, Hard Limits. ---- Nothing illegal, be it incest or where one's age is even remotely questionable... but along with that, (for me anyway) :

Absolutelty no severe bruising, broken bones, and NO hard blows to the head -- No Serious physical harm, period.

No Placing me in fear of my life even by only capitalizing on a disability of mine that makes me vulnerable (deaf/mute)----as mere suggestions of a sadist I used to know in here would put me in (He did not mean to, but made me wonder and think long and hard)

All Taboo for me too. Everyone has their limits and the above are personal examples along with the Legal taboos.

Don't hang too much on the word or concept of "Taboo" in its legal sense.

Just be firm-- "Taboo is anything that's not only a non-starter, but a reason to tell the other to go shit in their hat".

I'mME • Mar 18, 2023

@Miki,

Is this addressed to me ? I'm not sure but I will share my views further.
Taboo mena s different things to different people no matter what the Webster dictionary writes.

My comment asked a pointed question , bc OP stated that the potential (idk play date partner, hook-up, ??????) was discussing incest with them.
Incest is determined by two people who engage in sex that are related by blood, they are kin folk, they can share some genetic code.(but don't have to under some state law, discretion left to judge)

So I ce again my question to the Op is the person wanted the OP to role play w/an incest theme in mind? They 2antee her to watch them and his mother have sex , or their sister, or ?????

I'm someone who will ask questions directly if the person if I don't understand, it's the best way to understanding the person who is trying to explain.

I could go and ask that person over there or over here but I like to get my information straight from the horses mouth (not that OP is a horse) . I have always been like this. If people think and say it, then I figure if I have a question , they are my best resource.
If they choose not to answer, then I will be left with what is written and what I can intelligently deduce.

The statement on people's profile
If nothing illegal always makes me shake my head.

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 20, 2023

@ I'mMe:

Sorry it looked that way. Not directed at you at all. Truth be told I wandered out to left field with that post, and worse, I did not make it clear enough that the "other member" I mentioned did not harm me in the least. Quite the opposite. We messaged back and forth a bit, then the topic got to BDSM and he wrote what he likes do do in "sadist mode"-- At first it got me interested but I re-read and considered it and decided it was not somewhere I should go. I was going to meet the guy, as of all people in here he's the closest, about an hour travel. But because I realized I was not as into being a heavy masochist any more I nixed that idea. That and I am a problematic "date" communication hurdles and all that. Anyway we messaged a few more times and he moved on. Can't blame him but he never wrote anything angry or sarcastic or negative at all. He's a great guy and that's how people who meet either Online or in person should do this. Put stuff on the table and be honest about it. Thgat member is overall a very nice guy, but "sadist mode" wasn't something I'd be into any more. He's still in here but doesn't post to forums, not that I know f, has a gret job he enjoys-- most of the time and keeps this stuff separate and private.
I just wanted to clear that in case anyone thought I was hurt at all by anyne in here. Nope. As I said, the opposite. Would that all doms or sadists were like that.

Found the groomer

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Mar 20, 2023

Miss Anima​(dom female) • Mar 20, 2023

If it's not consensual its abuse...
Nothing to be polite about when dealing with people who sexually abuse
Minors or animals..
Only help those people need is not to keep wasting air..

autisticbarbie • Mar 20, 2023

I am not polite; I just tell those people to go away. There are a lot of stupid people on this site who will try you as a submissive female. If I took the time to counsel every jerk who sent me a message here I wouldn't have time to work or sleep. I do appreciate that you want to communicate this politely; I'd probably mention something about my BDSM checklist or something. Don't feel bad about strictly communicating your boundaries and limits. It's an important aspect of remaining safe online and avoiding being manipulated by predators.