Well...maybe not "for fun..." But, question...

Well...maybe not "for fun..." But, question...

Curtain Call​(dom male) • Nov 14, 2022

So, as I have said before, I host a YouTube channel about BDSM. My next topic is probably going to be about how you reconcile the lifestyle if you've been raised very conservatively religious, hardcore Christian, Muslim, Hindi, whatever... I have a rough draft, but I'm curious if others have thoughts or experiences that they'd like to share for me to make sure my piece is as logical, considerate and helpful as possible. I was raised Southern Baptist, but I'm a Pantheist now, and I don't want to talk down to my viewers if I can manage it.

Experiences, thoughts and quotes are welcome. ...For that matter, so is everything else. Thanks.

Curt

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 14, 2022

Well, you said "everything else"--- I was born here in USA as were my parents but our heritage is Japanese... Not particularly "conservative" with regard to sexuality and indeed they're not particularly conservative about that over there, by any stretch of the imagination, but all that aside I became "active" quite young by many standards. 13 on dates/no "older" dudes... But BDSM I came into on my own, not any kind of response to conservatism in early years. It was just a more powerful way of "getting off".

Now that I'm almost 38 years old, my interest in being a freak, or even just sexually active, seems to be declining. The pandemic didn't help, but even now I'm much happier just staying home on my nights off, doing some simple pleasures like reading, very occasional TV and going to bed early.

Could be hormones, or just sexuality not being the thrill it used to be.

Hope that was mildly useful, but probably not. Good luck with your research.

Re: Well...maybe not "for fun..." But, question...

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 14, 2022

i don't, i couldn't, i didn't.

i could speak to 'marriage' to a woman, i traveled in that boat 31 years. i sincerely believed the stuff i was raised in till 2006: fundamentalist Christianity. For those who have traveled those circles, my family attended J. Vernon McGees "Church of the Open Door" in downtown Los Angeles when i was a little kid, as a teen i was baptized by John MacArthur. Became pentecostal at age 19 during the "charismatic movement," attended Church on the Way, Jack Hayford. i was in the thick of it.

i realized as a child that i am (a guy) attracted to guys. i had already learned what my religious culture believed. i went to the library and looked up homosexuality. Pretty much every book was medical and explained how homosexuality was a mental illness, so the medical community reinforced what i had been conditioned to believe religiously.

i do not think it's possible to be gay and fundamentalist. i know there are those who are gay and Christian, but i haven't met any gay fundamentalist Christians. It took me a good portion of my life to process through my religious upbringing. i didn't take the route of 'rebellion.' It would take a book to describe the daily torture i went through trying to be who and how (i was raised) and 'supposed' to be.

Ultimately, being gay saved me from "God." I.e., i could not reconcile the reality of being gay with the ideas and notions i was raised with. It took an agonizingly long time for me to see it, but in the end, i had to accept the truth of who i am over 'the truth' of who i was taught i was supposed to be.

ControlYourHole​(dom male) • Nov 15, 2022

Very interesting topic- here’s a little background on my experience with this. I wasn’t raised very religious at all but got very into spiritual things in my early 20s (due to all manner of life experiences) & studied mystical/occult teachings quite a bit with a focus on eastern religions…had some super wild sexual experiences during meditation, astral projection and psychedelic trips (not with people but in the spiritual realm👀)but that’s another story for another time lol👽 ended up becoming a Christian & was involved with fairly “hardcore” charismatic/evangelical churches for a while. Still am a Christian now but the way me & my wife believe & practice faith is different than most churches today do (therefore we don’t go to one but just try to live it everyday) so note that our views are not the norm for many Christians.

We don’t see BDSM in general as a sin at all, & specific types are actually very Biblical & spiritually healthy. Specifically, the Man being Dominant & the woman taking pleasure in submitting to him, both with strong love for each other & the Most High for creating such an amazing body & way to reproduce. Many Christians may be scared of bondage, pain play etc because they think it’s connected to “demons of lust” but that’s wrong IMO. Anything that promotes trust & natural order in your marriage is good, plus sex in general isn’t meant for to be seen as ungodly. God wanted us to both “be fruitful & multiply” & for the woman “to have a humble & submissive spirit”…and also says “for their ancestor Sarah cherished Abraham and called Him Lord”. I can hear the gasps of less-aware believers who would claim you can’t call a man Lord, but the Word clearly says the man needs to be an extension of Gods authority in his wife’s life, so an honorific like that or “Master” aren’t inappropriate for her to use at all😎

Also threesomes aren’t always a sin how we see it- it was very normal for Biblical men to have multiple wives (all the better for being fruitful haha). Plus women playing with each other is never denounced by name (just them only desiring women not men is discouraged). So just because these timid pastors would be scared to take on a second woman doesn’t mean we will be😂I hope this helps some folks see that not all Christians are uptight about sex😎peace to everyone else who has shared their experience!

Estaria​(sub female) • Nov 15, 2022

Just wanted to say great topic to discuss. I wasn't raised overly religious, but we did go to catholic church and my family is very conservative. It had much more of an effect on me than I ever realized. I struggle still, to break out of the box the people closest to me have built for me...it's nice to see someone talking about these things. =)

LordofPain56 • Nov 22, 2022

Being a devout Christian, I can say there's no sin in practicing BDSM if the partners are adhering to rules set forth somewhere between Exodus 20 thru Leviticus 18.
Other than that, why would God design the human body capable of receiving sensations we enjoy during BDSM and sex are so pleasing to everyone. Sex is perverted by practicing those things listed in Leviticus 19 (incest, adultery, sodomy, bestiality). Exodus 22:15 seems to repudiate casual sex at all.
I don't see any prohibition of BDSM activities during foreplay or sex listed anywhere in the scriptures.
A hierarchy of male domination was instituted by God way back in Genesis after the fall. To me, this means that God is the ultimate authority, the husband looks to God as his authority, the wife looks to her husband as her authority. (By no way does this mean that men are always more holy than women).

Merry​(sub female) • Apr 29, 2023

I know I'm late to the party, but love theology discussions. I am a recovering catholic that discovered paganism when I was 15. I found the duality of it beautiful and it was matriarchal. Possibly because I had mommy issues or because I was adopted, more mommy issues, I have always looked for the comfort of that unconditional love one's supposed to get from one's mother.
The duality I'm speaking of is the sacred feminine who like, all of us here had to cross her threshold of creation. Maternally speaking, women, and those sisters who identify as women, have the old testament attributes that enable us to bear children and nurture their growth. While the Sacred Masculine appears to take a back seat, He is obviously vitally important. He is the consort to the Goddess, He is the protector, the provider, the lover, and Her other half.
In relationship with BDSM, there's a lot of sex magick in ritual worship, chaos magick for one. Also, unlike the Abrahamic religions, that got twisted by humans' interpretation, see Catholicism, sex was no longer considered a natural act, it was sinful because it was lustful 🙄...going through the dark ages when Rome denounced science and dancing and anybody who wasn't catholic a heretic goes to follow ridiculous edicts such as the human body is sinful. This is where virginity became prized. And the scriptures became very cherry picked.
Sex is a beautiful occurrence between to consenting individuals, and it is supposed to be explored, to solicit new experiences. Even my born again friends agree. And the duality I am so fond of, I feel the D/s relationship are at their core an equal exchange. I agree to submit to my Dom's guidance and He agrees to honor my submission by taking care of me. Both are being honored and respected and the exploration comes from a place of deep abiding trust that just can't happen if you're afraid.
Plus my family was conservative and I was the round peg that couldn't care less about the square hole. That and I was contrary.
Remember the Rede; An' Thou Harm None, Do What Thou Will.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. 😉