Bunnie
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1 year ago •
Apr 13, 2023
“Thank you for that perspective, Bunnie.”
You’re always welcome 
“I think it's good to remember that, being humans, things aren't always smooth. Things can hurt while we learn.” I completely agree. |
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Online now
Heero(dom male)
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1 year ago •
Apr 13, 2023
Morley wrote: My two cents on this....
A safe word is a SAFE WORD. PERIOD. It means STOP. Whether that's a conversation, scene, command, task etc. etc. The reason for a safe word is to keep you SAFE, hence the word!!! Agreed! Morley wrote: When in conversation, whether it's a command or task etc. (not sure if your dynamic is 24/7 or not), there could be another "word/phrase" that could be used to STOP the dynamic per se. Something like "porch time" . Meaning you want to "talk" as two (or more) people, not as TITLES! We are ALL human before our kinks (in most cases), and sometimes we just need to step outside O/our dynamics to have a person-to-person conversation, where the "dynamic/rules/tasks" etc. DON'T EXIST. And for me, this is VERY important to be discussed in the early "vetting" stages. To me, this somewhat seems to be intuitive, but I can see how someone being overwhelmed might not know to do this in the heat of the moment. So talking about this during vetting and just letting the person know it is an option, or just straight up making in a part of your protocol could be very helpful. I'll be incorporating this in the future. |
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Heero(dom male)
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1 year ago •
Apr 13, 2023
Bunnie wrote: We just talk. We’ve been talking about anything and everything the whole time we’ve been together. As things arise, we address them. Not in a smooth, cool way lol… we’re both humans learning how to love each other… nothing is easy about that imo. It’s been rocky. It’s been painful. We’ve both considered, and have, ended things a few times. And then we talk some more. My previous Master taught me that if we keep choosing each other, most anything can simply be a bump in the road as long as you’re willing to be open, honest and transparent about how things truly are. The hard part is determining if you still want to keep choosing each other. If you do, it means there’s still lots of work to be done on the bridge that brings you together. It’s ok to be completely different as long as you can learn to understand and respect that each of you is different and approaches things differently. If you feel unsafe, tell him. If he’s not hearing you, ask him why and how he can better understand. Try to step beyond yourself and hear him too. These relationships are damn hard work! And if you decide you don’t want to keep choosing him, opt out. I love everything about this answer.
Will also incorporate talking about this. |
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Azzabackam(switch male){PawPawGirl}
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1 year ago •
May 4, 2023
I've always seen the safeword as akin to opening Task Manager. It's "Ok, everything can stop right now, and we're take a look at what's going on and shut down what's causing an issue".
On top of what others have said, I'll throw out that the safeword isn't only for subs. Doms who feel overwhelmed, don't know what to do, aren't comfortable with what they're sub is asking for, or suffering any number of reasons should be able to shut things down instantly with use of the safeword just as subs can. |
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