I tend to experience a lot of mixed messages on this in real life. On one hand, we get told, a guy is expected to make the first move, because women expect, and admire ,men who take the initiative, and so on. And when we don't, it's because of "Lack of confidence" or "Shyness" or some such thing.
But then, when we DO make the first move, we often get told we are "pushy" or "Creepy," or "Being annoying," or "Go away, you're bothering me." Or, if you even subtly try to indicate you want to push towards intimacy with someone you are already casually dating, you get called "Creepy" or "Gross" because you have indicated you might possibly be interested in sex- and keep in mind I'm talking only about vanilla dating here.
But either way- my point is, we guys get so many mixed signals it's hard to even know what the right thing to do is anymore. So my reluctance to make the first move, so to speak, has far more to do with politeness and etiquette, and trying to even discern what the personal set of rules are regarding the one I am interested in- than anything to do with shyness or lack of confidence.
If you message someone you are interested one time (your case a woman) and they reply , your are a creep, or anything like that, there is something wrong with them. Move on.
Because they are displaying some type of salty. (that's a longer chapter in a different book)
*Or, if you even subtly try to indicate you want to push towards intimacy with someone you are already casually dating, you get called "Creepy" or "Gross" because you have indicated you might possibly be interested in sex- and keep in mind I'm talking only about vanilla dating here.*
Causally dating, what we are talking where, 10 times, 5 times? Casually dating-what does that mean? Where did you get them from? If you are on Tender (I haven't been) I thought it was a hook up sight, but then someone on Reddit corrected me, informing me that it is both a dating and hook up app. Now if you have ever been on Reddit, you take things with a grain of salt, less you be down voted
My recollection of when Tinder came out, it was a hook up site, like grinder. That is why I ask the question.
So where you find the women matters, and what you define casual dating as?
Someone who uses the word creep in these situations you described , something is wrong with them . It goes back to some my earlier comment on new ways to think about things that I'm seeing a lot of. This redefining of words, now I can add creep to my list.
You might be a creep but you were a creep when they started causally dating you, you don't become a creep bc you bring up an adult conversation. Feel me and I don't think you are a creep. Maybe they are the creep??????? Same thing on here or any other online. Jesus, the entire concept requires people to message people! So if one message gets that response , you see my point , those aren't your people, I'm sure it hurts your feelings, it would hurt mine.
The mixed signals can be for several reasons and some ladies here may not my reasons, men might not either. Women and men, don't want message after message all in a row w/o giving someone a chance to respond, could be a reason why someone may chat but seem wary. I can understand that, but the following are things thsg may be a reason for mixed signals, they want to keep someone hanging about till they check their other choices. Then there are those that will fill their time chatting w someone until the person they really want to chat with becomes available . I think your received mixed signals may really be your instinct your inner voice:warning voice.
If they don't have their personal rules listed out on a profile why not ask them?
Yes I'm a weirdo woman, imagine a concept of direct communication. All that above is exhausting.
I stand on this of women are using terms like creep, gross , for messaging them, keep going. If they do that when you bring up sex, they are weird. Unless they state they something to that ideology in the beginning, which goes back to where they came from. Once again direct communication. You seem solid to me, polite, so maybe you are picking wrong? If you are encountering this frequently. I'm an equal cocci giver to people.