Time wasters?

Re: Time wasters?

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Jun 3, 2023

Shit happens, dude. Life happens. Work gets busy. Family responsibilities take center stage. ADD brain kicks in and distractions are everywhere. Just to name a few.

Expecting internet strangers to make it a priority to communicate “shit is happening, can’t talk anymore” to every random stranger they may have been talking to recently is unreasonable. (What? Did you think you’re the only one they’ve interacted with this week? Pffft.)

At the end of the day… if you’re not feeding me, financing me, or fucking me, I don’t owe you an explanation for my retreat.

Harsh? Yes. Untrue? Nope.

Hisproclivity​(sub female) • Jun 5, 2023

If one more male (not calling them Dom) messages me "What are you looking for" I will lose it. I have even placed a disclaimer in my profile..to no avail they still message.

I am looking for someone to READ.

*end rant*

Nitrev​(dom male) • Jun 5, 2023

I've been a time waster before. Not on purpose, but sometimes you're interested in something but not ready when the opportunity presents itself. In this case, I was moving into my house when a girl contacted me. If we still talked I could invite her now, but you just lose interest after a while. Think we texted for a week before she moved on.

I'll be honest, I kept my options open because it was long distance, there wasn't a guarantee in happening any time soon, and something more feasible or a better fit situationally might have opened up. I feel in the talking phase or "consideration" there still isn't that commitment, and it's difficult to remain engaged when there isn't some foundation with which to move forward in your interests. I am responsible for my part, as I wanted a clean and together house to have her come to, but she also had to accrue funds and time off from work (though I would have helped pay back travel in person). No telling when and that can be demotivating.

It could be that they could not proceed with you or found something they felt was a better match, which is totally fair. Messaging someone, talking, even planning is not a guarantee or entitlement to that person. You sign on accepting that you could and likely will waste your time, several times, before you find what you want and you and the other person actually engage in what you seek

chattel​(sub female) • Jun 5, 2023

I had a forum post a while back that is related to this.

There have been several posts complaining about ghosting. If you can't respond to basic questions don't expect a response from me. If you think that's ghosting you, most in the thread I began disaggreed

https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=4696&start=0

I'mME • Jun 5, 2023

Nitrev,
If 2 people are in the planning stages , I think that is a level where maybe a goodbye or Adios is warranted.

Re: Time wasters?

Miki • Jun 5, 2023

I couldn't have put it better myself. Except I have to put the most-complained about remark either on this thread or the linked Ghosting thread which is about a year old but still relevant. "Life is rough. Suck it up and deal, Boss."

Personally I have the luxury of a peaceful Inbox. Messages here and there over the course of a given week, so "ghosting" anyone is something I can easily avoid. It may take a day or two since I do not access this place from work or anywhere outside of my home, but I do make time to let someone know that I don't have anything useful to add to a conversation and someone more amenable to conversing with them is surely out there.

...and how about pre-ghosting, for lack of a better word. At least one joker in here who blocked me without ever having communicated with me directly. I got a kick out of that. I almost never reach out to any doms or potential doms except maybe if they posted something great on the forums. So that guy and who knows how many others did the equivalent of bringing an umbrella to Death Valley.


@Chattel: Not ghosting. If you pull the plug on a conversation / situation that is going nowhere, really fast that is simply--- ending a non-starter. Ghosting is simply disappearing on someone with whom one is having an otherwise pleasant interaction without saying "bye bye".